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And in doing all of the above, be very careful. DO NOT LEAVE VOICMAILS on his phone that he could use against you. Else you'll wind up with cops at your door like I did. Fortunately for me, they saw right through him. His ruse was “I'm worried about her”. I had thrown away a picture I had given him years prior of myself and our kids, for his desk at work. He ended up bringing it home saying he didn't have room for it. I think it probably bothered her every time she had to pass by his desk at work. I was trying to make a point of what he was throwing away. BTW, we're still together. Which, is a whole other story in itself.
I did meet a therapist, went on SSRIs, but then stopped them suddenly due to me not being able to refill. My fault.
And it should. He's disgusting dump him immediately you deserve better
I'm so sorry this is happening to you, but I do think he's just trying to blame you. I had this with an ex. I changed nothing and all of a sudden I wasn't good enough and had apparently been too overweight for him the entire time, despite us being very very physically active and it just slowly got worse and I finally asked him what was up and he said I was just not good enough and actually…. He was talking to a girl who was very very very slim and wanted to get with her because the second we broke up he was there. And I felt like it was my fault for not being small, but that's not true. I have an athletic build and I will never be small, cot a big booty and thick thighs and I'm just not tiny and even if I dieted to an extreme I'd never be tiny.
But he made me feel like I needed to be.
Even if you did things to exercise and tighten your pussy (which isn't a weight thing, that is a muscle thing) you'll never feel enough and that's not why he's unattracted it's something in himself he's projecting on to you and I really don't want you to go through the self loathing I went through and wondering what was wrong with me.
There's Nothing Wrong
You deserve someone who loves you for you, not for sex
You’ve way over complicated this with how you’ve split your bills.
Sit down and add up every joint bill you have, then split that down the middle 50/50. None of this he pays for X you pay for Y.
Per your estimates, have you paid less overall? It’s not clear because you said he stopped paying some for 8 months but was that to “even things out”?
OP my heart goes out to you, this is such a difficult spot to be in and I can’t imagine how tired and upset you must be.
Imo focus on your mom. By the sounds of it she doesn’t seem to have a lot of time left to share with you, but he has an entire lifetime left to wait until you are ready to tear him a new one should you feel ready to.
Definitely break it off though, but don’t over exert yourself. He isn’t worth the energy, and in some ways not giving him the big heartbroken reaction might even humble him a bit. He’s a POS that couldn’t handle being loyal before proposing, and therefore he doesn’t deserve much of your attention right now as you navigate the treatment and well being of your mom.