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Literally best case scenario is that shes doing this for male validation and not for the purpose of cheating physically. But even if shes catfishing, and even if its just for validation, this is already an emotional affair.
She can get therapy on her own dime. DIVORCE TIME
Talk about an overreaction. She sounds manipulative as fuck. Prepare for suicidal ultimatums every time she doesn't get her way, OP. If she's pulling this stuff, she's not responsible/mature enough for a true poly relationship. None of the poly people I know would put up with this shit.