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Brock Thunderlink, 41 y.o.
Location: Nevada, United States
Room subject: just hanging with Camrod and the babbysitter
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The use of secrecy and ritual and pledges of sacrificing your life in Freemasonry is a system designed to create an air of importance and power to members and induce either awe or anxiety in outsiders. It does not have the same strength as it did before their secrets could be leaked live. But it's a frat. It's the Elks Lodge but with increased mysticism and a hint of illuminati authority that is, for better or worse, marketing.
It sounds like it's causing you anxiety, but maybe not entirely in the way the organization would intend. At this point in history, we have a better understanding of risk around the trappings of cults, and these fraternal orders are set up to really easily allow for branches to become cult-y if you have a moderately charismatic and power-hungry guy join.
You're allowed to have a problem with it. The obvious bigger problem here is that your boyfriend is okay with repeatedly lying to you. He could have just told you it was important and he wasn't quitting and let you make up your own mind about how to accept or not accept that. Instead he lied, tricking you into continuing your relationship under false pretenses. And it sounds like he's maybe done that twice?
It's clear that regardless of what he tells you, he values his membership in this group more than his relationship with you. He's willing to keep secrets for them, he's unwilling to even be honest with you.