Honestly this would bother me a lot. We’d not be a good match. You don’t have to twist yourself in to knots to accept someone’s hobbies. You’re free to walk away and find someone who shares your values.
You can't have people touch you, then it's going to become you not being able to go out without him. He will push little by little until you don't have any friends. And it will happen gradually, you won't notice it as he escalates it (as he's already been doing).
You've already gotten to the point where this is blatant toxic jealousy and asking people “is this fucked up?” if you have to ask that, then yes, it is fucked up.
He either trusts you or he doesn't. He sounds like an insecure, controlling, abusive person and you need to stop this now before he locks you in a cell.
You are making a lot of assumptions about his feelings for you. I think you need to sit back and wait right now. Do give him space and give him respect.
Your relationship will absolutely change if he gets invested in the new girl, but it's naked to know how.
I used to have this habit of imagining the worst and making myself miserable without even knowing what will happen. Try not to do that. It's probably not as bad as your mind is making it.
You will never, ever forget that she said this. My brain would be replaying this all the time and resentment will keep building up inside. If this is not the first time she has done this, I would say it’s a huge red flag ? and you possibly need to find someone who does not think so little of you.
my ex gave me his old mattress and bed frame and then proceeded to tell me about the best bj he ever got while sitting on the headboard. i made sure to let him know that my next sexual partner wwas older and could get so naked he could fuck his own belly button and ws the oly person who ever got me off every single time. i just ignore the 3 or 4 years in between those times where i put up with all his other bullshit
You've overstepped a lot here. But since you did you should at least be asking the obvious question, “do you feel you have to tolerate this to keep him paying child support or to forestall him dragging you back into court over custody?”. She may be more a prisoner of this situation that you're imagining (because your first possessive thought was cheating). TBH you just don't know this person or her burdens well enough to be flexing like you are.
I know this is nuclear, but hear me out: Tell him that you won't be willing to see him die of liver failure and if he doesn't see a doctor asap, you will break up with him. I am all for holistic and alternative medicine and wholesome diets, but this is borderline suicide.
I'm a complete stranger and i think i care more about your mental well being than your “man” does. I am SO sorry this happened to you. I can't imagine the kind of pain you must be in and i can't imagine a world where you deserve it. I hope you don't forgive him.
You can never give your spouse too many compliments. I constantly tell my wife she is beautiful and that I am madly in love with her. One thing I like to do is at least a couple of times a week when she is standing up is take her in my arms pull her in close and dance with her. We like to give each other full on mouth kisses a dozen or so times a day. I am 72, and she is 71, and been married 51 years. .
She is doing this on purpose knowing it will antagonize you. When it finally does antagonize you, your being upset will be taken as an example of your bad behavior.
I'd run. Your wife is definitely at fault. And to do this during a vacation? It was planned.
Are there any other reasons or indications that make you beleive she is interested in you? I only ask because I am in a similar situation but I've tried my best to keep things platonic and not cross any boundaries with a married man.
I don’t agree with that based on what was written. I am definitely attuned to call out abuse and here I see two people who are young and want totally different things, and are not communicating about it well. He is certainly objectively wrong about certain things, but abusive no. Abuse is a serious word and should not be used lightly.
Very good point, and I don’t know if I’m being facetious but I feel a compromise leaves us roughly 60 minutes away from each set of parents, and not really close to any friends. So with that regard I feel it’s one way or the other as the compromise leaves us without any support whatsoever, only a nice location.
His reaction is the problem here. I wouldn't move in with him yet. There are signs of a real anger problem. He also seems emotionally immature and unable to have healthy disagreements. Huge red flags here.
You're adding things that never happened. When did she show him affection? She literally walked up and fucked his game up. And when did she apologize? Are you reading the screen like braille with your eyes closed?
It's not even about the games, so many of you are so blind to the whole point of the post. It's the lack of care towards ones hobbies and interests. The naivety is absolutely astounding
Ur gf sounds like a really draining person to be around. This is obviously just a small moment of your life but maybe it's worth assessing if she makes you feel this way often. If she's frequently making you feel bad about your achievements and relationships with friends I would consider if it was healthy for you to keep dating this person.
OR maybe suggest marriage counseling or SHE go to therapy as an “ultimatum” I’ll bet money she’ll blow up if you tell her it’s a “her problem”, not yours. If you feel good, your partner of all people should be your main cheerleader. ugh I want an update on this situation so bad bc I’m honestly so sad for you.
It’s the “didn’t need your permission and you should trust him” that’s had me like hell no. And he didn’t tell you the first time? But the second time. Sounds like the beginning of trickle truth.
Because I’m a good person who is always correct?
My best advice is to replace your (former) boyfriends number with the number to a therapist.
Honestly this would bother me a lot. We’d not be a good match. You don’t have to twist yourself in to knots to accept someone’s hobbies. You’re free to walk away and find someone who shares your values.
You did nothing wrong.
Thanks for your kind reply. I don't want to hold him back either. I want him to fly. It's just saddening what an amazing thing is coming down to… 🙁
This is going to get worse.
You can't have people touch you, then it's going to become you not being able to go out without him. He will push little by little until you don't have any friends. And it will happen gradually, you won't notice it as he escalates it (as he's already been doing).
You've already gotten to the point where this is blatant toxic jealousy and asking people “is this fucked up?” if you have to ask that, then yes, it is fucked up.
He either trusts you or he doesn't. He sounds like an insecure, controlling, abusive person and you need to stop this now before he locks you in a cell.
You are making a lot of assumptions about his feelings for you. I think you need to sit back and wait right now. Do give him space and give him respect.
Your relationship will absolutely change if he gets invested in the new girl, but it's naked to know how.
I used to have this habit of imagining the worst and making myself miserable without even knowing what will happen. Try not to do that. It's probably not as bad as your mind is making it.
It will work out. Hang in there.
Lol troll. Gtfo.
Says the 30 year old who hasn’t yet hit that point in life. ??? Good luck!
You will never, ever forget that she said this. My brain would be replaying this all the time and resentment will keep building up inside. If this is not the first time she has done this, I would say it’s a huge red flag ? and you possibly need to find someone who does not think so little of you.
Break up with BF and tell mom grandkids aren't coming from you. You do not owe her grandkids!
my ex gave me his old mattress and bed frame and then proceeded to tell me about the best bj he ever got while sitting on the headboard. i made sure to let him know that my next sexual partner wwas older and could get so naked he could fuck his own belly button and ws the oly person who ever got me off every single time. i just ignore the 3 or 4 years in between those times where i put up with all his other bullshit
The assumption is that women would big cheat. The assumption is wrong.
Yeah his constant lying is a good enough reason to leave. Even if this friend was a guy. The amount he was lying about it was ridiculous.
You've overstepped a lot here. But since you did you should at least be asking the obvious question, “do you feel you have to tolerate this to keep him paying child support or to forestall him dragging you back into court over custody?”. She may be more a prisoner of this situation that you're imagining (because your first possessive thought was cheating). TBH you just don't know this person or her burdens well enough to be flexing like you are.
I know this is nuclear, but hear me out: Tell him that you won't be willing to see him die of liver failure and if he doesn't see a doctor asap, you will break up with him. I am all for holistic and alternative medicine and wholesome diets, but this is borderline suicide.
I'm a complete stranger and i think i care more about your mental well being than your “man” does. I am SO sorry this happened to you. I can't imagine the kind of pain you must be in and i can't imagine a world where you deserve it. I hope you don't forgive him.
6,5 EFFING years!
he started online 2016 in spring
he started irl 2016 in fall
she moved in 2022 in fall
he told her 2023 in spring
Dude does things by seasons.
Also…. 6,5 years without EVER meeting? ? As if!
I think I have been on here too much as my brain went to love bombing too
You can never give your spouse too many compliments. I constantly tell my wife she is beautiful and that I am madly in love with her. One thing I like to do is at least a couple of times a week when she is standing up is take her in my arms pull her in close and dance with her. We like to give each other full on mouth kisses a dozen or so times a day. I am 72, and she is 71, and been married 51 years. .
How often do you initiate the good morning? Have you tried sending the first text?
I've always thought it is weird to expect someone to be the giver for months and months with ritual things like this.
Can you report that behaviour to your workplace? It's harassment
She is doing this on purpose knowing it will antagonize you. When it finally does antagonize you, your being upset will be taken as an example of your bad behavior.
I'd run. Your wife is definitely at fault. And to do this during a vacation? It was planned.
Are there any other reasons or indications that make you beleive she is interested in you? I only ask because I am in a similar situation but I've tried my best to keep things platonic and not cross any boundaries with a married man.
I don’t agree with that based on what was written. I am definitely attuned to call out abuse and here I see two people who are young and want totally different things, and are not communicating about it well. He is certainly objectively wrong about certain things, but abusive no. Abuse is a serious word and should not be used lightly.
Very good point, and I don’t know if I’m being facetious but I feel a compromise leaves us roughly 60 minutes away from each set of parents, and not really close to any friends. So with that regard I feel it’s one way or the other as the compromise leaves us without any support whatsoever, only a nice location.
They have soap for those too
FFS, you are 26 not 12. Your money, do what you want with it. Tell them to shut the fuck up and mind their own business.
His reaction is the problem here. I wouldn't move in with him yet. There are signs of a real anger problem. He also seems emotionally immature and unable to have healthy disagreements. Huge red flags here.
That’s the problem with imagination. It’s just dreaming.
You're adding things that never happened. When did she show him affection? She literally walked up and fucked his game up. And when did she apologize? Are you reading the screen like braille with your eyes closed?
It's not even about the games, so many of you are so blind to the whole point of the post. It's the lack of care towards ones hobbies and interests. The naivety is absolutely astounding
Ur gf sounds like a really draining person to be around. This is obviously just a small moment of your life but maybe it's worth assessing if she makes you feel this way often. If she's frequently making you feel bad about your achievements and relationships with friends I would consider if it was healthy for you to keep dating this person.
Not your circus, not your monkeys. Move on.
OR maybe suggest marriage counseling or SHE go to therapy as an “ultimatum” I’ll bet money she’ll blow up if you tell her it’s a “her problem”, not yours. If you feel good, your partner of all people should be your main cheerleader. ugh I want an update on this situation so bad bc I’m honestly so sad for you.
It’s the “didn’t need your permission and you should trust him” that’s had me like hell no. And he didn’t tell you the first time? But the second time. Sounds like the beginning of trickle truth.