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Your friendship has been destroyed dude, the affair ruined it. You can't just go back to the way things were and pretend it never happened. This is why some friends who have the hots for each other never act on it, if it goes badly, they can't get back the friendship they had.
Or he moved and doesn’t do distance
A few things
I think the fact they are “hardly exes” actually makes the situation worse. They are exes with unfinished business. They never got to really see what their relationship could be like, nor did they do the deed. The tension between them while they are away together for 5 weeks will be electric.
It sounds a bit like he's made up a tonne of reasons and excuses as to why he can't go with other friends, and he's framing it as a coincidence that she's the only viable person to go with. Come on now. They've both probably had this planned for way longer than you've known about it, and are only now revealing it to you. Nobody doesn't plan a 5 week holiday together way in advance. Too much stuff to sort out to make it happen.
I think you're being made a fool of by both of them. Don't be afraid of setting boundaries and deal breakers. However if you want my unfiltered opinion, your relationship is already kinda doomed cause you're always going to have her as a backdrop. His one that got away. Sorry.
What compromises have you suggested here?
Do you think i should ask her to come out for a talk? What is the best way to move her
Any update?