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I’ve never met a lesbian that didn’t think women could be platonic friends. You learn something new every day.
I can predict the future enough to know I will never cheat on my partner. Cheating is a choice and therefore completely in my control.
Don't, not worth it. He honestly sounds like a bag of dicks, and he likely only showed up like that to intentionally try to set you off and hurt you emotionally. My guess: it's a front. Ignore it and ignore him, and recognize you're in a better, happier place with people around you who love you better than he ever attempted to.
Don't, not worth it. He honestly sounds like a bag of dicks, and he likely only showed up like that to intentionally try to set you off and hurt you emotionally. My guess: it's a front. Ignore it and ignore him, and recognize you're in a better, happier place with people around you who love you better than he ever attempted to.
Well, I think people on here in the comments have knee jerk reactions as a result of the people in the posts ignoring numerous red flags. The problem is, they see where the red flags tend (not always of course) lead, and as a result have a hairpin trigger on convincing people to expect more for themselves and stop ignoring such blatant issues.
However if the people on here were always really intuned with how much these red flags can turn into relationship Enders, and instead only ever came here for advice on “I messed up, I forgot my wife’s birthday how do I make it up to her?” Or “my partner and I disagree on how to handle xyz how do we come to an agreement?” People would probably be a lot less likely to jump to “this relationship is unhealthy”. You see the issue?
Instead, this guy is recognizing the dynamic is unhealthy right away and opting out, which is the smarter way to go about dating. It means that when the issues do arise, they tend to be manageable issues and with someone who hopefully, will be able and willing to work on those issues with you.
Probably because they have never been held accountable for their actions. ?
You aren’t hurting them. You aren’t making ultimatums. You are just pointing out the consequences of their choices.
Best of luck to you, I know how naked this kind of situation can be.
LEAVE NOW AND DONT LOOK BACK
What exactly is she upset about?
Having friends who are women while in a committed relationship is normal. Forgetting to mention someone is hardly suspicious. Like, what is the problem here?
If this is enough to destroy a relationship, then there is nothing you can do to save it because you haven’t done anything wrong, and finding fault is her simply looking for an excuse to be pissed off. And frankly, if something this inconsequential can unravel a relationship, it is not one worth holding onto.
But you’re asking how to help make this not a problem. My advice, do nothing and say nothing unless she asks again. Just always be honest with her if confronted. However, speaking as someone twice your age, it is a huge red flag if your partner doesn’t want you having contact with friends of the opposite gender.
My former girlfriend is exactly like this. I got fed up with it when she started having sleep overs with her new guy friends. And she got defensive with me for having lunch with a lady friend from childhood. So now she is free to flirt with any man she wants. She is bewildered that she can't find a man that wants a long term relationship with her. Do yourself a favor and find somebody with similar values and boundaries as you.
Based on your descriptions, this individual reminds me of the fuckheads that I knew in college through one of my close high school friend- he went to Tisch, the NYU arts school, and we used to throw parties with the theater kids, and those fucking theater kids were just SO GODDAMN DRAMATIC all the fucking time. About EVERYTHING. “ohhhhhh this pizza is TOO NAKED! WHAT EVER WILL I DO!!!!” Holy shit my head hurts just thinking about it.
God I hated those dipshits.
Anyways, that kind of nonsense was BARELY tolerable when I was in college, and it certainly is not acceptable in a grown-ass woman in her 20s. It sounds like she lives for the drama and attention. Even in the times that she was nice/helpful to you, I am willing to bet that was incidental to whatever gratification she got from being like “I am so important to iamjanicefromfriends I am a big part of her life look at me!!!” Sometimes dishonest motives can lead to positive outcomes!
Like she probably would talk about how you came to HER for advice and isn’t she just the best?? It’s like when celebrities have photographers with them when they go spend time helping ppl out. The helping is just a conduit to feed their own egos.
So he was with her just two years ago? Proposed to her three years ago? 18 & 30 to 21 & 33? You dont see it as concerning that he's repeating the same timeframe of marriage?
You must be pretty new here if you’re not aware that age gaps are often the biggest cause of problems on this subreddit.
He needs to realize that your sisters wedding is not a place that he needs to be using a “fun and unique way to express his personality” bc it’s not about him
Are we talking Clark Kent or does he want to pull a Jaden Smith?
Why? It's messy as hell and I would just want to avoid it all, usually from what I have seen friends that have slept together have blurred as well boundaries and it's just not a mess I would want to deal with. Another reason what this entails is that she very likely kept this from him for a reason, because she knew it would impact him dating her. She only cared about getting what she wanted, so she didn't allow him to make an informed choice. I wouldn't be with a person like that.
All of you are talking about extremes as if people are asking for a list of everyone she slept with which is just such bs. Letting your possible SO that people you slept with are actively in either of your lives should be a must, because as you can see in the comments it's a dealbreaker to many. That's a not list of everyone, that'a a small specific.
I don't think anyone should shame anyone if that's what you mean by begrudge, but he certainly has a right to be very pissed at her for deceiving him like this
Why? It's messy as hell and I would just want to avoid it all, usually from what I have seen friends that have slept together have blurred as well boundaries and it's just not a mess I would want to deal with. Another reason what this entails is that she very likely kept this from him for a reason, because she knew it would impact him dating her. She only cared about getting what she wanted, so she didn't allow him to make an informed choice. I wouldn't be with a person like that.
All of you are talking about extremes as if people are asking for a list of everyone she slept with which is just such bs. Letting your possible SO that people you slept with are actively in either of your lives should be a must, because as you can see in the comments it's a dealbreaker to many. That's a not list of everyone, that'a a small specific.
I don't think anyone should shame anyone if that's what you mean by begrudge, but he certainly has a right to be very pissed at her for deceiving him like this
Why? It's messy as hell and I would just want to avoid it all, usually from what I have seen friends that have slept together have blurred as well boundaries and it's just not a mess I would want to deal with. Another reason what this entails is that she very likely kept this from him for a reason, because she knew it would impact him dating her. She only cared about getting what she wanted, so she didn't allow him to make an informed choice. I wouldn't be with a person like that.
All of you are talking about extremes as if people are asking for a list of everyone she slept with which is just such bs. Letting your possible SO that people you slept with are actively in either of your lives should be a must, because as you can see in the comments it's a dealbreaker to many. That's a not list of everyone, that'a a small specific.
I don't think anyone should shame anyone if that's what you mean by begrudge, but he certainly has a right to be very pissed at her for deceiving him like this
You don’t have a partner though
Why wouldn’t you just go to each of your own friends weddings? You go to yours, she goes to hers. Why does this need advice are we missing something?
I know there are, which worries me. I don't want to be settled for but maybe that's the best I could get anyway. I love most things about him, he makes me laugh and he can be very caring. What I don't like is he's kept lots of secrets from me and has lied to me a lot throughout our relationship
DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN!!! Trust me her mother will not make the first couple months after baby easier she will make it more stressful in so many ways. I don’t understand why this is even up for discussion still, as you already stated SO many valid reasons why it would be an awful idea.
Sis, this is SO important.
If YOU do not want to meet James and do not feel ready to see him, then don't. You do not owe him anything. Not one single thing.
If you do not feel ready, then ask your MOH/BFF to call/text him and tell him this:
“She has decided she does not want to see you right now. You behaved calously and cruelly – there was not love in any of your words or actions. You have caused enough pain and destruction. She will reach out when she is ready to talk to you but leave her alone and stay away from her.”
This is what I read too. I think posting his picture on that FB group isn’t a red flag. It’s women asking other women if there are any red flags to look out for, or women posting about men they’ve previously dated with red flags posted.
If OPs guy was posted but nothing was said, she should be good to go. If she ended it based on a picture-only post.. thats odd and almost self-sabotaging.
No
A relationship takes two people. This sounds like you are doing the taking care of and all she is doing is taking. Think carefully about marrying someone who treats you this way.
That sounds right. Like a misguided attempt at helping. His family did bring their own groceries Sunday to prepare their 4 course meals here cleaned up after the meal, but I still get stuck emptying the dishwasher, and it took me until today ( Tuesday evening) to get a chance to mop the tile floors from them wearing their shoes all around the house… i know they’re just small things but every minute counts when I am juggling 2 infants. I just don’t understand why our house has to be the gathering place… I mentioned in another comment that they never stepped foot in our apartment for 2 years but as soon as we bought our house last year, they only gather here. It’s also odd because his brother lives with his mom, and his sister usually stays there overnight when she visits for the weekend, so it would make more sense for them to stay put and my husband to come to them. I get that the babies are a reason to come here, but this started 5 months before they were born and continued while they babies were out of state for those 4 months. WHY OUR HOUSE? Sorry, It drives me up the wall
Thank you. We had a long discussion. I decided that I am not going to do anything, it's going to her decision about what she wants to do. We'll hang out, explore new places. That was the most fun thing we used to do anyways. Avoiding any drama is the best route I suppose
lol honest women
might as well as for her body count while youre at it
Your boyfriend is a loser, plain and simple. He’s a mooch with no ambition and you can do better.
You don't deserve any of this. You deserve to be in a happy and loving relationship where your bf won't treat you like this. Leave him asap and block him.
Bye boy child ..don't let the door hit your receding hairline on the way out.?
He sounds like a psycho and clearly doesn’t care about you, just exchange laptops and have nothing to do with him after that.
He sounds like a psycho and clearly doesn’t care about you, just exchange laptops and have nothing to do with him after that.
My response would be “Okay” and I'd hand over my phone. But I'd also ask, “Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?”
That’s all well and good but if you sense your partner is starting to become concerned by your behavior (i.e. asking if you’d be comfortable with them looking at your phone), the jig is up and you should come clean. No surprise is worth weeks or months of questioning your partner’s fidelity and come to find out they were just planning a surprise. I can’t imagine why anyone who isn’t being shady would continue to hide a surprise when it’s clear their partner is becoming suspicious of them.
I say this because I’ve been in this situation in the past. I was ordering a surprise gift for my husband’s graduation and he asked to use my phone for something. Knowing it would be shady as fuck to hesitate or close windows on my phone, I said “I’m ordering something for you that I’d like to keep a surprise, do you mind if I close the window before you use my phone”. It ruined the element of surprise but it was totally worth it to avoid him having to question my honesty.
Well you don't have to learn about women's body to consider that touching something with a contaminated object will contaminate that something.
Basic logic. 1+1=2.
That’s exactly why they say material things mean nothing. Depending on the exact vibe/ details (did he say it in a “compassionate” way, did he say he wants to maybe take things slower before saying the L O V E word or was he hurtful) either stay and see where it goes or take your new necklace and bounce ✌? we don’t have time for mind games!
See there? “OpinionsAreLikeAHS” that’s just priceless? You’re a HOOT!!! The educational point is to develop a “OpinionsAreLikeAHS” radar as much of social media relationship advice is just “OpinionsAreLikeAHS” and advice on how to have a relationship from “OpinionsAreLikeAHS” will run your relationship off a “OpinionsAreLikeAHS” cliff or transform you into “OpinionsAreLikeAHS”
She has no idea if he jerked off to friends. She writes it in the title, but has no proof he did.
Thank you ??
Thank you ??