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That is a lot.
I think you’d be better off making some actual intentional plans than just shacking up end of day. 1-2 times a week, an actual date.
Thank you!! You are the real MVP.
Unless she has shown previously manipulative behavior, it is likely not a trap. Watching your partner with someone else is a fairly common kink. Maybe she wants to take that step, or maybe the idea is more erotic than the actual act would be. The best solution here is to have a conversation: what about it appeals to her? Is it something she wants? If so, is that a dealbreaker for you? If not, would engaging in wordplay or role playing be sufficient to satisfy this link of hers? All valid questions. But since it seems to be making you uncomfortable, you two should probably have a conversation about fantasies, needs, and boundaries in your sex life.
It's not always about that. Sometimes you just want some alone time.