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  1. Absolutely, and I have encouraged her to seek that healing for herself. I've offered breaks to really feel comfortable with herself, and by break, there is no threat of me dating elsewhere, I want the future with her so I would wait.

    To address the ex comment, I want to clarify it's not “a lot” of my exes, and I'm not super close with them. We have cordial friendships – they were friends before they were partners. Part of the driving factor of that is they may or may not be intertwined in my friends group – we have made the decision to put our past behind us and make the best of it. All(I hate saying this because it sounds like a lot, I'm just obscuring some identifying information) are in committed relationships like marriage. We might trade a handful of texts every couple of months – absolutely nothing that borders on crossing boundaries. Again, those doors were closed long before she was in my life and I'm an open book about it. These are targeted because of who/what they are specifically…not what I am doing. This is a constant refrain in our relationship that she isn't “as good as them”…which I think is absolutely ridiculous because 1. It's not a comparison, it didn't work out with us, so why would I want that? 2. I was attracted to my partner because she is NOT them and 3. Why am I getting punished for partners I had almost a decade ago? Also, this is sort of a double standard because she still has contact with her exes and I really couldn't care less. I'd get it if there were some unsavory things I had done with my exes, or really anything untrustworthy, but I have never given her any reason to even question me…and gladly answer questions when she does have them.

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