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You’ve been given lots of good advice, but you’re arguing with everyone because it’s not the advice you want.
You have to prove you were in a de facto relationship for 2 years (or have a child together), not just in a dating relationship for 2 years.
I just wish I had those original wedding memories without the anger and confusion I felt.
And you know what? It's okay to feel that way. Most people do have expectations of “this will be the best day of my life” for their wedding day. And it DOES suck if it doesn't turn out that way. Especially when it's as simple as someone keeping their goddamn mouth shut. You can't control bad weather or the like. But it's difficult to think “if John had just kept his mouth shut, it would have been the best day.”
When there are thoughts running through my mind that make me anxious, angry, sad, etc, especially thoughts that keep me up at night, it helps to accept that that moment made me angry and that's okay. It's okay for me to be angry about the situation/event. The emotions are real to me. And unfortunately, many people experience less-than-happy moments during what are supposed to be very happy events.
You could also ask yourself “what could make this right?” Maybe something, maybe nothing. If you come up with nothing, accept in your mind that a crappy thing happened on what was supposed to be a perfect day. If there is something, maybe try to start the healing process that way.
I'm sorry this happened to you.