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Would it be feasible for you to take a week long trip trip/vacation? Your wife would have to take care of things for a wwek alone, but you clearly need it, and she can have only herself to blame.
The traditional etiquette is that you do get the couple a gift. However, that was before all these expensive bachelor/bachelorette parties not to mention destination weddings.
Stay within your means. You have up to a year (according to traditional etiquette) to send a gift, so maybe you can send something down the road when you recover from the cost of the hen do.
My advice: if he feels like a creep he’s a creep. I can tell you from experience he’s not being social, he’s being a creep and attempting to take advantage of you and I’m sure this isn’t the first time he’s done this to a subordinate. Please don’t push yourself to give men like this the benefit of the doubt. If you have an HR department I suggest reporting him.