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Looking at eachothers phones when the other sleeps, notntrustong eachother by thinking you made videos of her while sleeping. This all sounds like teenagers with a love for drama. This all is pretty toxic from both sides. Typical youngsters without problems creating problems to get some drama in their lives.
He might but that requires resources which he doesn’t have. He’s calling you because that’s the only thing he can do. The more you engage, the more fuel it gives him.
Pharmacy technician here, but the ratio split would be something like 6 tablets for 30 days (edit : with health insurance ). I see that one often. Thre is also goodrx. Maybe look into if the pharmacy has some kind of savings card.
Edit : that ~$1400 you speak of is the cash price.
It’s a good lesson to learn this early on. Dudes who push your sexual boundaries are dudes you shouldn’t be having sex with.
This happens with me and my husband. We started house shopping – thought it was sooner than yours – and I actually backed out after our offer was accepted. We went on to buy a home 2 years later and it was the best decision.
And what did he offer in return?
yeah as time has gone on i realized that it wasn’t much abt the humor part, that’s just what hit be first, it’s the abt the fact that he was so quick to say something bad abt me to his friend when his friend was talking good abt his gf
Genuinely curious why you stay with somebody that does that to you?
Genuinely curious why you stay with somebody that does that to you?
That's true we never know others intentions but the fact he is that old and he wants to meet her is creeping me out. I'm scared of the fact i wanna go back to r/sh and rant out to them. I don't have a firearm but i got in contact. Don't get me wrong I'm not a bad person but I've helped some people back then and they said they owe me and I'm afraid i have to go that far to keep her safe
this is super interesting, thanks for this perspective
That's true we never know others intentions but the fact he is that old and he wants to meet her is creeping me out. I'm scared of the fact i wanna go back to r/sh and rant out to them. I don't have a firearm but i got in contact. Don't get me wrong I'm not a bad person but I've helped some people back then and they said they owe me and I'm afraid i have to go that far to keep her safe
He seems controlling and manipulative. He has no issue using his daughter as an excuse. He purposely plans things for the weekends you go.
That guy needs decades of therapy. He's blaming you. He's abusing you. That is NOT OK.
I know it will hurt, you've spent so much time creating a life and He's thrown it all away.
Please don't stay with him, please. He will do it again.
Like what even is there to respect about this dude. He sounds like a loser. And OP sounds like she's insane for even considering this crap. What is she gaining from this relationship?
He must have a really big….. ? only thing tht could ever make a woman think anything this stupid is ok.
Boy does this guy sound like a great catch.
What do you mean, ‘because people ruin good things’?
I honestly don’t care for social media at all. It’s all fake garbage.
Does she want you to post her photos to show people you have a gf. Is she jealous of girls you are interacting with?
Just take a couples selfie and post it wherever she wants you to. Tag her in it and write a nice caption that you love her. That should solve whatever issue it is that she has.
What do you mean, ‘because people ruin good things’?
I honestly don’t care for social media at all. It’s all fake garbage.
Does she want you to post her photos to show people you have a gf. Is she jealous of girls you are interacting with?
Just take a couples selfie and post it wherever she wants you to. Tag her in it and write a nice caption that you love her. That should solve whatever issue it is that she has.
What do you mean, ‘because people ruin good things’?
I honestly don’t care for social media at all. It’s all fake garbage.
Does she want you to post her photos to show people you have a gf. Is she jealous of girls you are interacting with?
Just take a couples selfie and post it wherever she wants you to. Tag her in it and write a nice caption that you love her. That should solve whatever issue it is that she has.
Have you thought about batch cooking and freezing to remove the hassle of cooking from scratch for every single meal
Plenty of healthy choices that you could tailor for gym nutrition. You could then eat together, save time and money
So, uh, what effort is HE putting into the relationship and/or resolving his woes?
I mean, to me, going to the bar without your SO to drink is a bad habit and precedent to set. Bars are social drinking places. Drinking alone is a bad habit. Youre not woth friends, youre not with your SO, so whats the point? Grab a six pack on the way home and have a drink when uou get there. However, alcohol is a poor drug of choice to self medicate for stress, and that's what would concern me most as a partner. If you're feeling like life is that hectic, maybe go home and talk with your significant other about it instead of drinking at the bar to try to regulate yourself. There are healthier ways to cope.
Not at all. They are in a committed relationship and you didnt respect that.
Please try to understand my situation and that I do feel guilty and shitty about what I did
Tell him bigger doesn’t mean better and that he’s perfect for you.
Look at the last sentence.
That's why I said, “it sounds like”. She doesn't talk about anything else she does like going to the gym, spa days with her girlfriends, or yoga classes. Anything else that he complains about her doing with others or by herself. Or that he is okay with these things, but not the glamping trips without him.
Yeah however when he said that “he doesn’t know any of his friends that would let their girlfriend drink alone” it seems like it’s not about the money but more about jealousy or controlling behaviour.
How many times to you plan to post this? Even with the ones you’ve deleted you still have like 4 of the same thing up. Just grow up already.
Don't you want to talk to her?
Tell him his dick is small and when he gets upset just say it's a factual observation. I'm sure he won't like that one very much.
In all seriousness tho, these “factual observations” are better left unsaid. You've told him they bother you, so he obviously just doesn't respect you. Maybe tell him about your ED (ONLY if you feel comfortable with that) and tell him that his comments are putting your mental health (and physical health) in jeopardy. If he can't accept that? Show him the door.
This is really spot on, I've never heard it worded like this but you're so right about the “feeling needed” stuff.
Fascinating. I find myself in a kind of similar but completely opposite sort of situation.
My now wife of three years doesn't consider me one of her friends. Nor am I even her best friend. I'm her husband, or at the time of learning about this, her boyfriend. No one else has that sort of emotional and physical presence in her life, I have duties and responsibilities that come with that position that are only for me. Even IF she felt like she wanted to do something with all of her super close and best friends, I'd get an invite. I might bow out depending on the circumstance as I do feel it's important she maintain her friendships without me always sort of being around.
The fact your girlfriend automatically was all, “Naw fam, I'm about to just spend time with my friends so go kick rocks”, is cold and just rude. Like it's not like she invited you but you were all, we can go out for supper before or after, or go do something together so you can have alone time with them. She just dropped you like a bad habit. Talk about a big ol' red flag. Maybe there is a new guy in the “friends group” that she doesn't want you to know about, or vice versa. Some bullshit going on regardless.
Mary wasn't an adult. OP, who he filmed, wasn't an adult. You're just sick trying to justify this.
Most men are used to this kinda behaviour be it from their friends or family. If he says he’s cool he’s cool
In our culture, men are taught to repress all emotion except anger. So, instead of grief, he's expressing rage and directing it at you.
Get out of there. Take care of yourself. I'm sorry.
Look darling, im also have a very traditional lifestyle, but whats happening to you is abuse. Im sorry, but he's being abusive and you need marriage counseling (or divorce if things can get worse – physical).
Im dont know your beliefs, but what I know its that God loves you and want you to be loved, and your husband isnt loving you.
Yeah I’m curious if she doesn’t want him to masturbate at all or just not use porn.. if it’s the porn why is he unable to masturbate without it? He knew she didn’t like it, he could have left a lot sooner if it’s something he feels he really needs or wants.
Those photos are her memories. Whether she is with her ex or not, those moments still happened. If it really bothers you…then I would calmly bring it up to her explaining how it makes you feel.
It honesty scares me how often I see that on reddit posts. Fortunately, I've only heard that once irl but it worries me that there may be lots of guys walking around out there that have this attitude.
Send a 20 gift card along with a goodbye card and let her go
Well none of my friends see it that way, so who’s right? None of us. The problem is opinions. We all have one.
Until you’ve walked a mile In the guys shoes I suppose none of us are really positioned to have any opinion.
That is exactly what it sounds like to me
Maybe but when tenting occurs some women can take much more.
And this wasn’t the first time
They’re both incredibly immature and incompatible.
OP, if in your shoes, I would clearly communicate that “we have different wants/needs in a relationship and that’s ok. In saying that, I feel it is best that we simply go our separate ways as this will only cause more resentment in the future.”
Thank you so much for this! This is true. Even when he told me not to stress about it bc its just ‘legal marriage’ and not ‘spiritual marriage’ i still couldnt help but to think about the consequences of our plans. My bf is a really nice person and I can tell he really loves me but we’re barely dating so Im not sure if I actually know know him that well or not.
Update: I talked to him today and told him that the marriage thingy is off the table and that I am not planning to marry him anytime soon and that I will never marry him for benefits and whatnot. The Good thing is he never pressures nor have ever pressured me to do something Im not comfortable with, so he was perfectly fine with my last-minute decision. Lol.
Your bf didn’t give you an infection. Him putting his hand on your head didn’t give you an infection. You were meant to be cleaning the site multiple times a day, and even if you did that, the chance of infection still exists.
You are foolish to not immediately begin taking your antibiotics. An infection allowed to run rampant can have extreme consequences.
If y’all aren’t together you have no right to be upset
Same for me. I posted my story in here, but my wife cheated, we divorced, and 5 years later we remarried. We are going on 13 years in our 2nd marriage.
Jesus Christ – You can't write a post in which you go into detail about how you want to on-line a bachelor life because of your wealth but then say you don't want any judgement on it. I did a double take when you said you were in your 40s…
What advice are you even after? You don't want to be with her, why waste her time by stringing her along? No woman would want to be with a man who believes they deserve more than them because they have money… I'm sure if you told her that she'd do the breaking up for you as you clearly can't do it yourself
I just asked my husband. He says you are right. Is she gonna moan about it or do something about it.
The Vegas/distillery option sounds way more fun than a wedding. This OP! This!!!
Do her a favour and explain that you never really loved her (because when you love someone you'd do anything to help them) and that she deserves better than you (because she does).
That's exactly what I meant? but not really what i asked
There are no direct flights and tickets are about $700, which is unfortunate! Planning any vacation trips from there would add an extra 4 to 5 hours to whatever plans we would have. So, that part really sucks for that location.
Thanks for your input!
Serious question – what's wrong with being alone? I mean, if your main reason for staying in a crummy relationship is because you fear loneliness…..you gotta make some changes in your life so that you are fulfilled even as a single person. The desperation to be in a relationship for a relationship's sake is precisely what makes you so vulnerable to putting up with shitty treatment from a partner. Go build yourself a great life sans partner and then share it with someone worthwhile.
I CAN'T visit her I would love to visit her country with her …
I’m guessing you are asking as you don’t know what her reaction will be when she finds out that you have been discussing her issues with finding a job, and the struggle etc surrounding it with your friend (and others)
So find a way to express this to her to meet why you did it, because you want her to be happy and healthy and feel proud of herself.
Then yes, tell her of the offer. Try not to make it sound like she’s only getting it because of you though.
from my perspective as a married man. if my partner already recognized the problem, i'd rather she puts effort to solve the problem rather than opening up.
this is a scenario that i have in my head….just to get my partner's mojo back, i even happy to do one sided sex e.g. im giving her massage and going down on her regularly (daily if possible) to get the spark back with nothing in return.
im the type of person who need connection and in my opinion sex with my partner is how i connect to her in the deepest level. if i share that with someone else, I'm afraid that will disrupt the balance in our relationship. i can't just go home to my wife after sleeping with someone and pretend like i just went for a run.
Tell her he took inappropriate pics of kids. Tell EVERYONE.
This. The manner in which you found out is important
Everyone seems to be saying dump him. My guy is clearly addicted to the phone. I feel like moving forward in society this is going to be more and more commonplace. I don’t really think there is an amazing solution. The phones are designed to have your face in them constantly. People hear that ding or feel that buzz in their pockets and there is just this Pavlov’s response to see what it is. We have been rewarded too many times by opening that text and seeing a funny meme, or seeing a response to something we posted on-line, or getting 100 likes on Reddit. I don’t think this is something he is going to be able to stop doing, you will have to determine if this is going to be a deal breaker for you or not. I’m sorry, it sounds like he is good in a lot of other areas, but if you need that focus and attention and he is constantly being distracted. This is just going to build resentment towards him and not being able to be with you when you’re together.
Like I said, best of luck with this attitude.
Take care.
He just gets irritated over small things more easily. He doesn’t blow up, but I can tell that he’s bothered by things that usually wouldn’t bother him so much. We’ve also had an increase in overall negative interactions since then.
Third option, you both go your seperate ways so he can experience the type of relationship he wants and you can stay monogamous.
? yikes that hurtful to hear but you’re not totally wrong either
If you want a committed monogamous relationship ask for it. It’s been 6 months
One date?
Seek professional therapym
You’re preying on someone who is mentally unwell and was a child when you started speaking. If you really care about her you’ll leave her alone.
It reads like someone who was led to believe someone was available/potentially interested, she developed interest and emotions, she found out he wasn’t honest and is doing the right thing and seeking advice to help move past said feelings…which is reasonable considering they probably didn’t develop overnight, so despite being under false pretenses, may take time to right side, also reasonable. To suggest she should be disgusted with herself because someone lied to her, or to minimize her feelings in comparison to the wife (that she knew nothing about) is whack. The wife’s problem lies with her husband, not with the girl he was lying to.
She should've taken a shower and then just sat around hard instead and see how would've liked that
Move one. It’s not worth the time or effort. Most likely he’ll break things off again, the people who do this tend to. Then you’ll have even Moore heartache and emotional distress.
He might mind clutter a lot more if he didn’t have someone tidying up all the messes. It’s easy to say it doesn’t bother you when it bothers someone else more and it bothers them enough that they’ll do something about it if you just wait long enough.
Safer to let him say it first. But you can hint at growing deepfeelings.
She isn’t sure what she wants so breaking up now may be for nothing if it isn’t worth it. I think dealing with the issue sooner than later is better instead of her staying with me and slowly losing attraction
Do you think he puts energy into trying to understand why you might behave appallingly the way you are here (he's under a lot of stress etc.).
I think he is being abusive and deep down I think you think that too, but that would mean having to face really hard stuff and decisions so you try to explain and excuse in the hope you can love him into being different.
Sadly that isn't possible. If he's done it more than once and not then improved his behaviour he is not going to change because you ask.
You are stronger than you know and, whilst you can't control him, you can choose your behaviour and actions in order to get the life you deserve.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to unfollow and block your ex. It’ll stop you from obsessing over her like this.
Don't try to fix a drug problem. Just set your boundaries and stick to them, which usually means moving on.
I lost him at black cat to his golden retriever energy, wtf is that. She probably got overwhelmed.
Are you ready to be the next girl he plays? That’s how you get over him lol.
When she gets where she needs to go just text her “I know about the lingerie enjoy your weekend, I will have papers ready on the day you return”
Than put her number on do not disturb.
A majority of women are dating a minority of guys.
Yes he is a rather shy and cute man, thats what I like about him. He indeed sends me lots of “proof” about his social circle e.g. videos of them hanging out having fun or mentioning a new bunch of friends on every date. He seems to be very popular. I dont think he pretends since his phone always has 10+ notifications.
I'll try to talk to him, thanks!
I wouldn’t say being a cam girl is a more benign reason. ? I mean, I think that is something you should be telling your partner,
I suppose if you want to give it a try you could buy a cell phone lock box and ask him to put it in at the beginning of the date. They won’t open until the timer is up so there’s nothing he can do but exercise his patience muscle.
And if he’s not a doctor on-call, it doesn’t really matter if he gets an emergency call. There’s nothing he can do to save someone’s life, so he can just wait for the outcome like everyone else.
just be honest.
Tell her exactly what you wrote here.
Breaking up is NEVER easy, no matter age, context, country… it's always hard but I found honesty was always the best option.
DO NOT Ghost, please, this is the worst thing someone can do.
Life happens. Relationships change everyone to some degree and your own relationship with that person either adapts or fades away. I suggest you learn to adapt.
There are so many reasons why the situation may now feel uncomfortable and you will end up chasing a rabbit down a whole if you go the route of trying to figure out what caused the change. Instead I recommend you accept a change has occurred for whatever unknown reason and just roll with it. Ask him if there are aspects of your relationship that he's uncomfortable with now he has a partner. Be okay with the fact he will have a lot less time for everyone in his life because partners take up a lot of time. Be yourself around his partner and don't try foolish stunts to either impress her or convey she has nothing to worry about. Just let the dice land where they may and work with the roll you get.
What don’t you understand? She is more interested in helping you her way than yours.
congrats! enjoy your college years! 🙂
He doesn't forget he is rude and nasty.
Run the dishwasher when he is in the shower. Go see an attorney.
He seems to have been only interested in conquering your body and taking your virginity.
When he could not do that, he lied when he said it would still be your special first time together… which means: he was telling you only what you wanted to hear to achieve his goal.
He got the sex he wanted then dipped out of the relationship…
He might or might not have stayed with you if you were a virgin like he thought, but what does it matter anyways?
If you were a virgin & he had stayed, it would have only been because of your virginity, not for you as a person.
So all in all I rate him a 0 out of 10 …
Completely cut contact with this person & move on and on-line your best life!
Your family thought you could do better. They were right. Keep pushing for what you are owed so you can cut off this manchild from your life. He has huge m, huge issues that you will only begin to see with more time and distance.
If it's not related to a health condition or risk, it's gonna be impossible to bring this up without sounding selfish. You can't really command people to mold their body into the way you choose. That's not how that works. So your 2 options is:
1) Break up with him. Let him find the woman who loves his body type. You can find yours.
2) Self reflect to see if you are actually being unreasonable and these are just intrusive thoughts.
People don't usually “date ugly people”. That is just their type. Beauty is subjective. And it's fair for the both of you if you chase your types instead.
Are you dating Barney Stinson??? Cause this is what he did to dump people, come up with crazy reasons why he can’t commit and needs to drop a woman.
Nope. Nope nope nope. You are emotionally unstable to be in a relationship. Luckily, you are long distance so you can do it from a safe distance. End this immediately and go to therapy for the love of your own mental wellbeing.
I'm giving this a 95% likelihood of being a troll post, but on the slim chance this is real I will respond for those in the back who maybe didn't hear.
I decided that she had to hear me out, so I grabbed her arm and pulled her back in.
So this is entirely inappropriate behavior. Using physical violence in an attempt to force someone to comply with your wishes is criminal. It's 100% not appropriate.
Sora looked at me for a moment, and then she raised her hand and tried slapping me.
So this was a mistake on her part, but it was a response to the physical assault she was already enduring. She was relying on the fact that she felt you would never get violent with her and obviously miscalculated.
Luckily I grabbed her hand and prevented her from hitting me.
There was no luck required here. The average man is 3x stronger than the average woman in the upper body. Men posses faster reflexes and have thicker necks which can endure head blows. Defeating a woman trying to slap you isn't a physical accomplishment for a man. It's just the reality of our different biology.
I decided to raise my fist and act as if I was about to punch her.
Jesus Christ dude, you are one step away from being a batterer. You've already forced her to stay when she wanted to leave, now you are trying to force compliance through threatening physical violence.
As soon as I raised my fist at her, Sora whimpered and she closed her eyes and covered her head with her arms. I could see tears coming out of the corners of her eyes.
This is how primates submit to avoid deadly fights. Your girlfriends lower hind brain kicked in and she's just trying to survive the beating she sees as impending. Again this is not an accomplishment for a man, this is abuse. Putting someone in this state is abuse even if you don't touch them. This is a traumatic experience when your primitive brain has to jump and and take over. This is a my-life-is-ending type of feelings.
It didn’t make any sense, because my girlfriend has been practicing Taekwondo since the age of 7, and she could easily beat my ass up if it came to that.
No she can't. Martial Arts can improve your technique but they do not eliminate physical advantages. Particularly when you are talking about being 300% stronger. I'm a big guy that does Martial Arts, I can't even spar with women. Firstly they don't want to because I'm so big, but secondly when I do I'm spending 100% of my energy trying not to hurt them by accident. Seriously, I have to focus on not hurting them by accident. Even going 50% is overwhelming to a woman, I'm talking 5-10% and usually I'm doing things to keep them from getting hurt.
Don't fight with women. Don't use your strength to force her to comply. That isn't winning an argument, that's grooming an abuse victim.
She’s just overreacting, right? Is there any way to come back from this?
No (you're under-reacting) and no.
He's a gambling addict. Run.
Get over it by stop thinking about it and realizing it's stupid in the first place. Be happy in life and don't let money be a thing standing in your way of that
Yup… story of my life.
For real, cringe as hell
For real, cringe as hell
Cutting you from her wedding party is tough, especially without a talk, and especially because she was in yours. Uff.
Yeah, maybe pick a different day for a sit down, a chill conversation. Hopefully she's not doing things to be mean, and everything will work out for you two.
Good luck!
OK so you didn’t plan it in advance but you did it anyway. So you still did the activity. It’s like a little date. I understand you didn’t plan it in advance. It just happened.
That dude is serial killer waiting to happen
It’s early days. Move on. He deserves more.
She should set up cameras inside her house overlooking all possible entry points
Right? So many people in this thread fundamentally misunderstanding what it means to have herpes.
Like are you saying you should confess to the fact you’ve had cold sores before every time you kiss someone?
If you don’t have a current flare up, this would be utterly bizarre information to offer up to someone before sleeping with them.
I couldn’t work out if she knew she had a flare up at the time or not to be fair, it seems ambiguous from the wording
That's not the case. It's common for boyfriends to give girlfriends money for personal needs and such…
It's clear he doesn't care about you, so I think it's time to move on. This is likely him trying to end the relationship without saying so explicitly.
This guy is removed from her life or you divorce.
I'm calling bs. You guys began the relationship as non monogamous. It's hardly out of character of her or the relationship to float the idea of different forms of ENM.
This sounds like the shit people do when they were just looking for an out.
Ah, I didn’t see the part where she brought up monogamy. Thanks for letting me know
Yeah I’m that case I agree she did indeed do shitty things
He says she decided to left after cheating on him
It's possible that your dad might change, but it's unlikely.
Have you ever had a clear and direct conversation with your dad where you told him, “Your behavior is really unpleasant for everyone, especially Mom. It really upsets me the way that you treat her”?
If the answer is that you've been clear about your feelings and it hasn't made a difference, then my advice is to work on talking to your mother and convincing her that she deserves better than this. That likely means encouraging her to divorce your father. That's what I'd encourage her to do. Make sure both your parents know that you love and support your mom in doing what she needs to do to be happy.
Assuming that's true, anyway.
Thank you. We’ve been doing the marriage counseling thing for a while but this just came up last week. I’m not sure that we have the wrong counselor or what’s not working there, but we make a little progress then fall back into old habits.
I still don’t feel we are communicating well. I’m trying to own my part of that problem.
Yeah, but like… that was a year ago. And you don't graduate for another year. I would hazard that it is very, very unlikely that she's planning on sitting on her hands for 2 years to show up at the graduation of a dude whose name she doesn't even know and who she chatted to for 24 hours.
Bro, get out.
Huh? If you don’t ‘approve’ of what is literally part of someone’s basic personhood, hell no, don’t even pretend to be their friend. That is such a slap in the face. If you’re not actually okay with homosexuality, don’t pretend to be. It’s not just an adjective, an accessory, a “decision” or “action”. It’s as plain as the fact that you know you’ve loved [opposite gender, ostensibly]; I was boy-crazy in freaking kindergarten for goodness sake. It’s literally just a basic part of our person. It seems like you’re somehow differentiating that fact between “behavior”. He’s always been gay, you’ve always known that. Did you think he’d just get over it? Why would you not expect him to find someone he loves and get married, just like everyone else? Why is this where the buck stops for you if you are ‘okay’ with it and ‘supported’ him before now?
Don’t be in a relationship with someone just because you don’t want to be alone. A relationship should make you feel genuine attraction and love. You should feel like this girl is your partner and best friend. If you don’t feel any of those things, then it isn’t romance.
TBH, I actually feel like your partner is the one who is out of line here, and whose behaviour is a red flag.
If they were tired & wanted you to leave so that they could go to bed, then they should have said so. You are not a mind reader. To then turn around and tell you that they felt manipulated because you said “I missed you” is also really unfair. It is perfectly normal to tell your partner that you have missed them.
It also sounds like they are trying to weaponise the concept of boundaries. Boundaries are meant to draw a line in the sand between behaviour that you won't tolerate in a relationship. Saying “I won't tolerate cheating” is a boundary. A make out session that goes a little too long? Not a boundary.
Aside from that, boundaries only work if the other person knows about them, so to try and claim after the fact that you crossed a “boundary” that you didn't even now about? Not ok.
But the biggest red flag? They are now making you question your own memories.
Some info here is missing.
You say that you spend 1-2 nights a week away from home, which is what it is.
But you never mentionen wether or not you bring home an actual income, specially for said baked goods. Is he the sole breadwinner? You also said that you spend a lot of time making these baked goods. How much time do you spend with him?
I'd be a little pissed as well, if my spouse didn't bring in any income, used my money to bake for their friends, and was barely able to spend time with me because they were baking.
She probably just doesn’t want to feel fat if he’s in really good shape
Haha see ya ✌?
I have given you very clear advice: grow up and understand that communal living comes with drawbacks that you simple have to tolerate.
I presumed that I didn't need to spell this out but just in case: when one of you goes to the bathroom and leaves the door ajar and this woman peeks in you should simply say hello. I have no idea why you insist on leaving the door ajar but whatever.
Also, if you don't know this either: you need to make the effort to proactively connect with and interact with his mother. You are part of a household. You can't just hole up in your bedroom like sullen teens. If you make more of an effort to interact with her on your terms you may have a little less peek-a-boo going on.
No. It's between your parents, stay out of it. Your Dad may already know anyway.
He acknowledged that it was an involuntary bodily response and that it was uncharacteristic behavior.
WTF?
This is not an offense that requires even half of the apologizes you gave, and you certainly don't deserve for your POS bf to talk to you like this. He's a complete tool.
Exactly. Lazy response from OP to just say “but they aren’t my dogs!!!”
I just wanna reach out you know. I feel like shit that he just blocked me.
I know someone who was molested as a child by their own father. This woman is in her 60s. And a very super long story short, after going through many life experiences (good and bad), she found religion (or spirituality) and was able to forgive her father. She'll never be alone in the same room, though, no matter how long time has passed, but they visit each other and are able to have good, or at least decent, conversation. This woman has kids and even grandkids. Her kids know what happened, but still choose to talk to their grandfather. They hug and do kisses on the cheeks. They all joke around like any family would (not about said incident, obviously).
It's something that should be up to you. If you really don't feel like you can on-line with your SO with that in the back of your mind, almost haunting you…then you might have already found your answer.
Maybe I am projecting here, but I had the same scenario with my ex-boyfriend. We started out long distance, always had sex when we got to see each other a few times a month and everything was good – and as soon as I moved in, it stopped almost completely.
I destroyed my self esteem trying desperately to figure out what the reason was; if I was suddenly unattractive to him, maybe something had happened to his libido, was he seeing someone else, was there a medical reason – for two years I tried everything to figure out how to improve our situation because I felt like absolute shit. The man was super kind, I was very in love with him, he treated me amazingly in every other area, but refused to acknowledge or talk about this specific issue. Did not want to do a medical check up, did not want to try couples therapy, nothing. Just a complete shut down if the problem was addressed.
One day I was borrowing his computer for work, saved my file to the wrong folder and when I opened it (with the tile “budget”) to retrieve it, I found a hidden porn folder with thousands of pictures and links to porn videos. Tried to rationalize it, thinking maybe it was before we met and his sex drive had plunged after. Then I walk in on him after coming home from work early one day, after not having sex for literal months, and I find him sitting on the couch with lights off, fucking candles lit and jerking it to porn. Turns out he had a porn addiction, which he had no intention of addressing or wanting to get rid off, and let me become severely depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts from thinking I was literally hideous and unlovable. Fuck. That. Guy. Intimacy is important, it is directly linked to our self image for many of us and how we express physical love towards our partner. Knowing your partner suffers and is killing themselves over trying to solve the problem without any empathy or willingness to address that pain – that is not a kind human being. No matter how the rest of the relationship looks like.
I see someone else commented on you guys perhaps spending too much time together, and him “needing to miss you”. I say that is BS. I met my current husband right after my porn addicted ex. I cried when he touched me the first time, because it had been so long since I had felt wanted like that. We have been together almost 11 years now, we always want to be around each other, we have sex on average 4-5 times a week and I never doubt for a second that he doesn't desire me. My only regret is wasting over 2 years on my ex because it took me three times as long to rebuild the self esteem that he destroyed.
TLDR; if the issue is not actively addressed, chances are it is not worth it for your mental health to keep trying in a one-sided attempt to fix it further. At least from my experience.
You may be harboring yeast that isn't symptomatic to you, but reinfects her. If that's the case, both of you need to abstain for six weeks. No alternate stimulation either. See what your doctor says about this.
Absolutely not.
Yes, you are cut it out
You are so bang on with this comment, you don’t even know. haha
We definitely have a dysfunctional family and have a complicated relationship with our parents and other siblings. I’ve been abused while my brothers haven’t. I try to look out for him because I don’t want him being treated like I have in life. We really only have each other and we’ve told each other that.
Sadly, at the end of the day, I’ve told him what I think, our parents have told him what they think, his friends have told him what they think. It’s all up to him now ultimately. And that kills me. But I guess he really has to learn the hard way
I will always be there for him. And he knows that. And I’m glad for that.
Yes this is the best advice
Yeah she has her own job and we're very independent with our money. It's more like it's gross to ask for money and you shouldn't interact with people like that attitude vs what are you doing with your money. That and the time taken away from us hanging out but she could of came with me
Lemme guess… “Gross, she's practically a kid! You have nothing to worry about!”
Miss Thang seems to think that you're in her way, and she thinks that because he has basically told her that you are.
Let him have his child, let her have her dirty old man. You can swan off into the sunset and find a guy that's trustworthy. You're worth better!
Yes and if they think asking those questions early is weird then they are too immature to be seriously dating and you don’t want anything to do with them anyways
Early 1900s advertisement campaign to sell wedding rings. (think valentines day that was card sellers trying to sell cards)
I mean. There's reddit truth and truth truth. How often are you asking her to release you. If you have a decent sex life, take that as a win.
If you don't, then leave. Just don't cheat. I promise that the frustration of lack of sex does not outweigh the ptsd given once you find out your partner cheated.
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I hope this isn’t tmi but I don’t think it is. I got a breast reduction about four years ago when I was 18. Since then, they’ve grown back to they’re same since (if not bigger) and because of that growth, the scarring looks a little bit weirder and just in general they’re kinda ugly. My boyfriend of one year can not stop commenting on them. He tells me it looks like my boobs were butchered and that it’s Frankenstein-esque. I plan on getting another reduction but I can’t control scarring and he just makes me feel so ugly. They’ve always been a huge insecurity of mine so it’s hard to have a lot of those insecurities confirmed. I cannot do anything to change the way they look. I’ve told him I don’t like comments like that but he’s just dismissive.
Is it time to just end it? I really do like him otherwise and I’d be sad to say goodbye.
EDIT: Thank you all for such kind words of advice and and encouragement. It’s one thing to hear it from friends but being validated by strangers oddly means a lot. I know what I need to do now, so it’s just a matter of making it happen. Also I know that I messed up the title I’M SORRY ??
You should always be the first pick for who you're with. No one likes being second choice, and you should never allow yourself to be second pick.