My (27F) boyfriend (30M) is upset that I won’t give up/ or include him on my glamping weekends.
Sorry about the formatting.
We've been dating for about two years, and he has a daughter called "Stacy".
Three or so years ago I was burnt out and decided to take a weekend getaway. I found out that about two and a half hours away from where I online, there's a big national park that rents out boujee little cabins so I decided to go there. I went swimming, roasted marshmallows, drank wine by the fire, enjoyed the scenery, and finally read a book I was dying to read but never had the time for. I threw my phone on do not disturb and forgot it existed.
I wanted to detach and that's exactly what I did. I enjoyed the time to myself; I didn't want to think about work, school, or anyone other than me.
It was so nice, that I decided to make it a once-a-month thing. Most months i'd leave work Friday, immediately go there and then come back Sunday night. Sometimes I'll leave sat morning instead. I make sure any projects I'm working on are complete and that my apartment was clean for my return. I don't answer emails, calls, I don't even go on the internet. If it rains I'll watch a movie or binge a show but aside from that I try not to touch any tech.
Cue me starting to date BF(30M). He didn't understand it. I explained that it was a way for me to relax/unwind and get away from people; it was the only time I got to focus on me and mental health.
He was annoyed, and worried, that I would leave my phone in my room and not respond to anyone. But that was the point, I didn't want to be disturbed. I let my friends and family know when I'm going and they won't hit me up.
I stopped leaving it on do not disturb though just in case of an emergency. But then he started blowing me up all weekend.
He didn't understand why I would need a break from him, but I couldn't get him to understand that it wasn't about him. I just wanted the weekend alone to relax and be adjacent to the great outdoors. After that argument, we decided that I would call him for a few minutes before he goes to bed to let him know that I'm safe. Although he does his best to try to drag that conversation on forever.
I thought that was the end of that, but now he frequently asks why I don't ever invite him and his daughter to go with. But that defeats the whole purpose of my getaway. Not to mention I spend most of my spare time with them already. I suggested that we can periodically plan other trips together. Some for the two of us and something more kid friendly for everyone. But he conveniently only wants to plans things for the weekend I'm away, and be a homebody the rest of the time.
Outside of this topic we don't argue much, but when it happens, he ties it back to this. One day I couldn't rearrange my schedule to pick up Stacy and he insisted it's because I only tolerate her. And he knows I only tolerate her because I haven't suggested taking her glamping with me one weekend to bond. Forget the fact that I've had one on one time with her numerous times to bond, and we have a great relationship.
I just don't know what to do. If I include them once I know one of two things will happen: he'll insist on coming all the time and that'll change the whole premise of my getaway, or he'll think it's dumb and insist I stop going all together. He has pretty much suggested the second option anyways.
Also, our finances are separate so this isn't about money. And he's never suggested that he thinks I'm cheating/going with someone else.
How can I get him to understand/drop this once and for all?
Edit: I would happily let him do the same if he wanted. I'd watch his kiddo for a weekend a month if he wanted to take off.
submitted by /u/ThrowRAglamping
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