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Princess Kendall, y.o.
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Morning! Do you think she wants you to fight for her? Or do you think she just needs to find herself for example?
If she wants you to fight, then do so, if you can…
If she needs to find herself, let her go… Focus on being super dad… Also, if you on-line in a state of common law marriages (cohabitation = marriage), maybe you could get child support, since she has a fancy job…. ?
Either way, don't blame yourself. You are a good person man. The way I know that, is that you're asking the right questions. And I know deep down you want to do the right thing whatever that is.
Go Get 'Em, Tiger! ???
i’m so sorry this happened to you!! i’m glad you realized tho so you can get the help you need 🙂 therapy is a great tool to navigate these feelings, unlearn behavior, and move towards healing
He didn't psysically cheat but they both got tired of how close she got to him and she spread rumours about one of them cheating which made him break up with his gf. I know the gf never cheated though
You absolutely can!
But it’s directly relevant to the comment it replied to
no, I just have some genuine advice if you’re in a certain age range. what’s up with being so hostile? who hurt you?
There's nothing rude about you, her child, telling her how she hurt you by (more or less) abandoning you. Agreed with previous users, setting a boundary is your best bet moving forward. It doesn't mean it won't hurt, but it does mean there will be a clear set of guidelines she has to adhere to in order to have a relationship with you.
I think if you’ve already discussed the situation about your brother with parents. Yet they still want you to stay, then you should leave. I know that it hurts when someone close does something like your brother did, but it’s hard when other people don’t really see it, such as your parents. I think you should leave, go out with friends or something that night as well. I’m not sure if it might cause some whole family debacle, but you do have a right to just leave for the time your brother visits. In the end, it’s your choice, but this is just my suggestion! I hope thinks work out for you in the end, good luck.
Not accepting rejecting and the fact you're taken is extremely disrespectful and can be considered harassment. Don't let your ego fuck up your relationship. If you really want to break up with her, don't do it because another girl is giving you attention and feeding into your insecurities.
Everything seems to come back to your ex-wife not doing enough. What are you doing about this behavior? You're right that your partner isn't his parent, but YOU are. So step in and act like it. Co-parent with your ex-wife. Make plans for how to deal with this and stick to it. Reinforce to your son that his behavior towards his mom is unacceptable. Model appropriate behavior for the sorts of situations (such as not kicking your partner out over hearing something you don't like and ghosting for the night). BE A GODDAMN PARENT.
It's both you and your ex-wife's fault. You're both his parents and you're both responsible for raising your son, even when you're divorced. There is no “my ex failed but I didn't” here. If your son is acting out, it's on both of you, full stop.
Also, your partner is right. Your son has learned that if he screams and hits people enough, he'll get his way. He has no reason at the moment to change that behavior because there have been no consequences for it. I don't know why this is so hard for you to grasp. Take your head out of the sand and listen to the responses. I would hate for you to be surprised when your son gets hit with an assault charge as an adult.
Or maybe she is playing games with you. I would leave her alone.
I brought that up to them and they can’t really explain it either
First of all STOP having sex with him! This will make you resent him even more in the long run.
Don’t date someone hoping to change them into who you want them to be.
You two aren’t compatible, break up so you can both go find better partners.
If assigning blame helps you sort of hurt feelings and frustration, great! Keep that up for your romantic relationship. I always like to ask myself, “do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Then I go from there. Assigning blame is very important when you want to be right, but it does little to make people happy.
Your relationship is over. You should be grateful that your gf did not keep it from you. Better finding out about it now than after wasting more years with her and needing an annulment. Thank her and then block her everywhere.
When I was in college, freshly 18, I worked in the college's gym. I did laundry for the teams. This sometimes involved having to walk into women's and men's locker rooms to collect their gear or drop off clean gear. I was FULL of a SHIT TON of hormones, the horniest period of my life, and I am bisexual so every gender wa game, and there was no bigger turn off than being those rooms. The smells, the atmosphere, the fact that I felt like I was inhaling sweat… it was so fucking bad I had to shower after my shift.
Locker rooms certainly CAN be horny places for the truly committed but aren't when they are full of sweaty, stinky people. Or people hyped for a game.
Almost all guys I’ve ever played with shower after games.
The higher level and further north the team is (seriously), the more likely this happens.
I can see beginners who never played and on-line in conservative areas not showering but all the hockey I’ve played (20+ teams) have full showering happening.
I think he is enjoying it a bit. Someone chasing him. Gf jealous and fighting for him. He is being a selfish person by not making it clear to her and the group you 2 are solid and won’t put up with disrespect. Show him these comments
Yeah I just don't understand . She would probably just not tell him next time if she knew he lost trust in her. it doesn't make sense.
You're the McDonald's order guy!
Follow through on calling your family, this relationship sucks.
It’s a red flag but not a guarantee she’s doing anything wrong. All you can do is be the best partner you can be and she will do whatever she’s going to do.
Holy shit u guys r stupid.
Nothing wrong in just reaching out. I'm not putting any expectations, but you'll still regret it later if you don't even try to just have a conversation atleast. Even if she doesn't respond, you'll have a closure.
How old is she now? The best thing you can do is make sure she feels safe. Tell her how loved she is. Tell her she can always tell you to stop anything physical and you will without question. Tell her you want HER to have HER pleasure centered, and ask her what you can do to make things the most comfortable and sexy for HER. Ask in the moment “does this feel good?” so that she has an opportunity to share her feelings if she needs. Make sure you do after care! Hold her close and remind her all the wonderful things you love her after sex or even just after any difficult conversations.
You may never get over the disgust you feel for her dad and I think that’s normal. He’s an absolute monster for doing that to his own baby girl.
Always choose the dog. Idk how this is even a question for some people – men are so easily replaceable but good doggos are not 🙁
No it is you’re literally a disgusting idiot this poor girl hopefully will get rid of you so she can grieve without having some retard try stick his cock in her mouth when she’s too busy thinking about the hole losing her father has left in her life
She isn’t worried about you. What worry about her?
Go get a lawyer.
She should be respecting your boundaries. I've seen stories on sex related subs where CNC where one partner is extremely averse to it has resulted in the end of the relationship.
I'm concerned that she's trying to pressure you into something you are vehemently against. That's not cool.
you’re an idiot
He is not in charge of what you wear. He acted like a big spoiled brat baby.
Is he always such a drag to be around?
If she has had a diagnosis for PPD and not actively doing anything for treatment you need to get custody of your child (PPD proven dangerous to all) and make her seek help or your done. Get your attorney and draw up paperwork with which to show you mean business. Good luck
Okay so you planned a game day with your friends and she was jealous — do you get excited and make plans with her like that? Cause i think that might be the ticket.
You have to decide whether having him or a dog is more important, because you will never be able to have both.
His sperm count could be low enough that they don't think IUI would be successful.
You are already in a super unstable mental state for some reason. Starting hormones now would make you worse.
Jesus. He needs to grow up
The fact that you are calling “pathetic” the action of breaking the silence for communications sake, yes, it sounds like you don’t value the relationship.
I get that you might be exhausted from this back and forth, but you obviously partake in it.
Break up or go to couples therapy so you guys can learn how to communicate instead of making assumptions about each others feelings. You’re in your thirties, stop acting like a teenager.
Don't win him back, you're incompativle.
Find someone that shares your love for Disney
Yea, you might have broken the marriage. He is stewing on what happened and probably feels betrayed. He might not ever feel the same way about you ever again.
You could try inviting four women into the bedroom but that likely won't fix things.
This is why so many people who invite a third party into the bedroom usually end up broken up.
A very anxious and mistake-prone woman getting emotionally involved with a guy who has a superiority complex is a recipe for disaster. All the available personalities in the world to couple up with and you picked the one that would be the absolute worst for you.
He’s so bad that people here are sympathetic to landlords.
For me I think watching porn is micro-cheating.
You are free to think what you want. It definitely is important for you two to be on the same page about this – and right now, you definitely are not.
Because essentially he is lusting on other women
Not really. Granted, we're kinda splitting hairs here, but presumably you can look at an attractive man, acknowledge that or even get turned on by that, while not wanting to *actually have sex* with that person. Same thing applies in porn. Just because your BF faps one out to [whoever], doesn't mean he wants to have sex with her.
Most of the time, for most guys, porn is just a means to an end: makes the fap session go by faster.
and I believe brain don’t differentiate between porn sex and real sex since it brings similar stimulation.
Well, no offense, but here your ignorance is showing. Pretty much any guy will take the real thing over porn any day. There are certainly some dudes who develop a preference for the easiness/accessibility of porn, some might even get “addicted”, but that's obviously not nearly the same thing as what you're describing.
because most of the time physical cheating is also an urge – you want to have sex
Right. So if you want to have sex, but your GF doesn't want to, what then? Nothing wrong with taking matters in your own hands, right? So then the question is whether it should be a 20-minute session sans porn or a 2-minute session with it.
I don’t know if I am being unreasonable
You feel the the way you feel about it. It's not really a question of logic or reason. You definitely are being unreasonable in saying there's no difference in the brain between porn sex and real sex. Most guys can and do make that distinction.
Most people don't feel the way you do. I think you probably know that. So the real question is are you really going to be swayed by public opinion, or are you gonna try to find someone more compatible? I don't mean the former question to have a negative connotation, I am just asking if you really can see yourself being able to change how you feel about it? As to the latter, you probably should know that it's gonna be awful difficult to find a dude who isn't watching porn. Plenty of dudes will tell you that they don't, and try to keep it a secret (plenty of those stories on here).
Only YOU can salvage this because she did nothing wrong. You need to change your mindset.
He’s a shit.
I have dealt with cultural differences myself. Sure, he needs to be sensitive and perhaps bend over backwards sensitive, but I am not really hearing much outrage from you. The bottom line is that you are deep into your culture, it has a strong hold on you, and really I think your fathers behavior is pretty much acceptable to you.
Here is the bottom line for me, you picked this guy who is from another culture which just by choosing him, you have rejected yours (at least in this area of mating) and he is the guy you are going to spend the rest of your life with and yet you are really not defending him, he can be the bigger man and acquiesce but you expect him too. By just about any measure of most cultures a man,.spitting on another man is totally unacceptable. If you can't see this then I think you should keep harmony in your family, break up with this guy, and find an appropriate igbo man.
In my case my family rejected my partner who was African, I spent every day with my partner, hardly any time with my family (but we were on good terms before.this and I would be at all family functions) I left, shut my family out, they came around in about 6.months but I was prepared to make it forever.
This is whack your proposing to a girl you haven't been out with?
She didn’t have an affair she had a whole relationship with this guy, to me that is the unforgivable part
I agree that his previous relationship was definitely toxic and not fair to your boyfriend. However, this current relationship isn't fair to you. He's clearly hung up on his ex and ignoring your concerns, that is so far from healthy. You should try to have one more serious talk with him, and if he continues to refuse to address what you say, it's time to end it.
Thays not an even split. She's working over 30 hours a week and is in school. Between the 2 she's likely pushing over 50 hours of work while doing the housework, the laundry, the cooking and the groceries. You literally sit all day, come home and do the litter box and take out the trash and then harp at her that she's not doing enough despite the fact that you know she's struggling with her health.
If you aren't a troll, I hope she dumps you because she may as well be single
Let it go.
You a bum, brother
I'm thinking of doing that, but I want to get as much advice as possible at least until the end of this or next month
You should not be trying to have a kid with her
You are not wrong for going to visit your family
You should not buy a house with this person
My dude, why have you been tolerating this at all?? It should have never happened a second time, let alone after all these years. This is her issue to resolve, not yours. She needs to put in the work to grow up and get the fuck over you having a life before her. If she can’t, don’t waste your time in a girl who hasn’t grown up past high school
Yeah she won’t and I’ve known this. I’ve seen how she had treated people in the past, especially her long term ex bf.
Because our fight was about him being in touch with people he's slept with
Tell them they are the ones that need therapy.
You can do a temporary no contact or a low contact. I’d walk away or hang up when they mention him.
Actually I’m pretty cut and dry so I’d cut contact all together. It’s not for everyone though
Ew your boyfriend is gross.
as someone who was diagnosed with unipolar depression in the past, i know how it feels and ive been in the position where i struggled to be able to even text someone, but I feel like i've given him opportunities to clarify if he's just struggling a bit, id be more than willing to give space. i just feel like if i do what you say, its gonna make it very obvious im putting more thought into this
I am very happy to be with him.
Except for when you're scared of him
Tell me why you are still in this relationship? Are you trying to teach your child how to be miserable and mistreated? You do know you are teaching your child that being cheated on and miserable is normal right?
Get a lawyer. You need to move out and leave your husband forever. Take him for every penny you can. Get stable and happy and then date again, but you aren't in a good place to date right now you'll jump into another mistake.
Have respect for yourself and leave. Being alone is better then being with someone who makes you feel alone.
Having a bad day getting mad once is not abuse lol.
The issue here isn't “having a bad day and getting mad” it is that she had a bad day and most people (especially her friends for a get-together) would be understanding of something simple like the pizza being a little late. She also wasn't “mad” she was screaming at her partner (who had no control over the situation either and was trying to help) and throwing things. That is abuse, not being mad.
The double standards on here are honestly hilarious because men don't get any leeway when it comes to shouting and throwing things, yet you defend and act like this behaviour should be normal when it comes to women, not only are you making it worse for men by getting them to bottle up their emotions, but you're also supplying the sexist idea that “wOmEn ARe IrRatIoNaL”