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You are correct that I am old enough to handle this. I'm honestly ashamed that I let it go this long without intervention. The reason I defaulted to my mother in the first place is because Savannah lives at home and needs to be parented, in my opinion. She is self-diagnosed autistic, but I highly suspect she's on the spectrum in some way. I also believe a lot of her behavior stems from our parents' possible divorce, and my mother discussing this with Savannah at length might help Savannah feel more secure at home. I also suspect that my mother is not discussing the lies with Savannah (especially the ones that directly affect my mother) because she wants to keep Savannah on her “side” after the divorce. When my parents divorce, my sister will no longer have a home to live! in (mom and dad both moving out of state to different parts of the country). This means that in a few months, the rug will be pulled out from under Savannah – and Savannah is well aware of this.
Time to cut your losses. Pre cheating is not a thing. Your gf needs help, but not from you. You need to end things and move on.
I have. Even before marriage, she adviced me to not get married. Still did. Went to therapy afterwards, she said she believed I would get really depressed because it seems like we just are not a good match. She was right.
I am happy in other parts. I have a great job, great friends and family. I am active in sports. I just feel depressed around my husband.
You know even if you go and propose only a one-sidedly open relationship he still may leave you over this. This depends on what kind of person he is, but if he sees sex as part of emotional connection, then he will be appalled with the idea of you being fine with sharing him. It might make him feel unwanted.
This isn't necessarily what ends up happening, but it is something you should consider as a possibility.
Really? When?
I always find it funny for new partners to get mad about their past (unless the situation was similar to mine in that he kept in contact with his old flings but that’s a whole can of worms I already dealt with).
You were being a normal 20-30 year old. We have sex, we date, we do whatever. It’s a part of life.
My ex from years ago demanded to know everyone I slept with, even way back in college, YEARS before we met. But he went as far as moving in with his ex, which was way further and meaningful than I had ever gone with anyone. That didn’t last long and thank goodness for that.
It’s some serious insecurity when your partner can’t accept that you had lovers/fuck buddies before they came into your life. And a big MF’in red flag.
Leave. Next time he remarks that he could do better, tell him that you're ending the relationship, and he's welcome to “do better.” He wants your self esteem to be low.
Y’all putting up with to much BS ditch the trashcan B
1) I've seen people cry at a lot of things, and “toughness” has nothing to do with it. Tears aren't a great metric, and pain in itself shouldn't be seen as an injustice. It's an unfortunate part of life sometimes.
2) The amount of risk and pain that would be involved in effectively anesthetizing the uterus fat outweighs the benefits. NSAIDS before, and a heating pad during and after is really the best you can do for it.
No? More like he doesn’t understand no means no and boundaries need to be respected. He’s a red flag.
Don’t date people who lie to you and fuck you over. She’s trash and she burnt you.
Chances are she had a polite conversation with him at the wedding. The typical “what's up,” “what are you up to,” etc. and he mentioned where he works. If she was without work at that point, the conversation probably involved that. She likely didn't think much of it and wrapped it up as some random encounter. She probably didn't mention it to you because at that point, it was the same conversation she had with everyone else at the party and you seem to really hate the guy. I probably wouldn't have bothered bringing it up either.
If she was struggling to find work then I get why she took him up on the offer in January. I understand that she should've told you about it, but by doing so she would've had to explain how he knew. And again, you fucking hate the guy, she probably wasn't keen on laying that on you.
She fucked up by not telling you when it came up. But I can see how this might have come about. It doesn't have to be cheating or actively malicious. It could very well just be a bit dumb and poorly thought-out. You might be freaking out because this guy is a known homewrecker and you're projecting that on to your wife.
Info: How do you generally react to difficult conversations? Do you argue or throw blame? Do you yell or cuss or give the silent treatment? If so, you might understand why she wasn't keen on telling you.
Has she done stuff like this before? Is she hiding her phone? Staying late at work or going out more frequently? Did she recently change passwords or hide info on her socials? Has she recently started using Telegram or other chat apps?
I mean anything could be happening. It's very hot to tell without being in the middle of it. But just take a step back and stop yourself from spiralling. Have a calm conversation with her and voice your concerns and listen to what she has to say. Reddit is way too eager to tell you that the worst of the worst is happening without having any real insight. Good luck.
Get a DNA test and if it’s not yours. Consider yourself lucky. Why is she letting some random raw dog her and bust up inside of her
This comment is where it's at.
Continue on with being extra AF. Work out. Stop cooking and doing his laundry. Hire a lawyer. The relationship is long since over, you're just starting to realize it now. It hurts, but you'll be happier without the dead weight.
Get whatever tattoo you want. You’re still young and he doesn’t get to control your choices.
Find out now if he views you as a partner or Property.