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That was my exact thought. He either is lying about it all or he said or did something to threaten himself or others. Therapists will not involve the police or report things unless they truly believe you are a harm to yourself or others. Any therapist who calls the police and they don’t think you’re a threat will probably have to go in front of an ethics committee.
I’m thinking the boyfriend said some off the wall shit and probably talked about killing himself or someone else and the therapist had no choice.
Let me get this straight.
You lied to your wife (no quotations because that’s what you did, don’t sugarcoat it) and you’re trying to gloss over it by labelling it as a surprise.
A surprise which was set up in a way that, as you’ve said yourself, you could “see where this is going” fairly early on and decided to do it anyway.
What you did was ignore or dismiss your partner’s concerns and insecurities (no matter how unfounded they are) and did something that played on those fears and now you’re trying to get her to see why she was wrong.
She knows she was wrong. She’s apologised but is trying to get you to understand that what you did also wasn’t ok, because she wouldn’t have reacted that way if you hadn’t gone behind her back and arranged for her to walk in to what looks like (at first glance) her worst fears coming true. She wouldn’t have expected your daughter to be home, because you decided not to tell her she wasn’t going to be at nursery at that time. Which is idiotic – she should know where her child is. What if there had been an emergency or an accident? She’d have no idea where you both were. This was incredibly irresponsible on your part.
When you apologised did you assure her that you wouldn’t do it again?
I'm mostly offended at this point that she's repeating the shit she used to baby trap people and expecting it to fly here because there's a sad story attached. Hopefully CPS/DCFS gets involved ASAP. I wish these people weren't so anonymous because this absolutely needs to be reported and have the state involved if it isn't already. There is no placement with a parent that is safe for these children.