UPDATE: My (21F) boyfriend (21M) is getting too comfortable
A lot has happened since this post. I took the words and advice of the comments and gave him an ultimatum: he needs to fix the problems in the original post or I'd leave. I sat him down and explained that he's treating me like his mother, not his partner. So, I'd set up a bed in my office and sleep in a different room until he proved he didn't need me to take care of him at a whim. He was super shocked that I'd "hit him with this out of nowhere", ignoring that I've been asking for help for months.
I had to drag one of the spare beds up the stairs and set up the room, all while he was sitting refusing to help me. Fine, nothing I'm not used to. I realised once the office was set up how happy it made me to have my own space without needing to fix all of his problems, and he did not take that happiness well. I noticed him getting snarky and aggressive whenever he saw how much i was enjoying my holiday from catering to him, and just overall being weird but still not really doing his own stuff. He'd just leave mugs and plates to get mouldy in his room, or leave stuff everywhere in the living room.
I noticed that he started to nitpick everything I did, and it seemed like he was trying to find something, anything to make me feel bad about to make his faults less bad, i guess? He complained about my friend group on Discord because he didn't like that I had friends that weren't through him (even though I invited him to come on with us, introduced him, and he had a good time). He also complained that i wasn't giving him enough attention or "helping enough" (yeah, welcome to my hellhole pal). But everything he tried to fault me for was quickly shot down – "of course I'm friends with them, they haven't done anything wrong and I've invited you to join all the time" and "of course I'm not helping you – THATS THE POINT".
Shit hit the fan after only two days of me staying in the office – my discord group had decided to get drunk and play cards against humanity (i highly recommend this btw) and i told my partner this. He just said Ok and so i went upstairs. Once i was already pretty tipsy, i got a message asking me to come downstairs. I told my discord to pause the game and give me 5 minutes. When i went downstairs, he looked at me with the scariest face and said "Do you wanna tell me anything huh?" Holding my old phone. In our entire relationship i have never done anything to be disloyal or anything, so i had no clue what he meant. I asked, still giggling from the drink "Tell you what?". I don't remember exactly what he said, but he said that "he knew" and i should admit it to him now because he had "evidence". I still had no clue so i told him this, still stumbling a bit, and asked to see the evidence.
He proceeds to go through my old phone's photos until he reaches over FOUR YEARS AGO (well before we were dating btw) and shows me a picture of my rapist. Not a naughty picture or anything, literally a selfie. He showed me this smugly and proceeded to tell me that i cheated on him, with the guy who RAPED me, BEFORE WE WERE EVEN TOGETHER.
Ladies and gentlemen, they say its impossible to fall out of love instantly, but that's been proven false. I gave him one last chance to take it back, and asked "Are you jealous of him?" And he confirmed that yes, HE WISHED HE HAD DONE IT FIRST. in his defence, i genuinely think he worded this badly and didn't mean he wished he had SAd me, but holy hell my drunk brain did NOT like that one.
I don't even remember what i properly said, but i broke up with him on the spot. I explained I'm staying in the office until i find a flat, and he is not to talk to me at all. He realised that him trying to guilt me backfired and he started crying. I just went upstairs, put my headset on, and said "Guess who's single!!"
Long story short, my discord collectively decided to keep me on a video call constantly bc they had a bad feeling about me still living in the same house, and God were they right. He left to stay with his mum (who's down the road) but decided to try to kick the door down at midnight. Why? Everyone in the discord was flirting with me (mostly jokes) and this dude TOOK MY OLD PHONE AND LOGGED INTO EVERYTHING TO FIND MORE STUFF TO GUILT ME ON.
I had to phone my parents to pick me up because he had gotten in and was throwing shit around, accusing me of cheating again. I'm now staying with my parents until i find a flat, and I'm lucky to have my discord friends because if they hadn't witnessed his freak out on camera, i don't think anyone would've believed me.
Love you guys!
TLDR: Told my boyfriend to stop making me mother him, he said I cheated because I was SA'd. I've now left lol
submitted by /u/JazzyFin
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