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Sara(brunette) & Jess(blonde), 21 y.o.
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Why didn't you guys just tell the parents ahead of time and go out to a different restaurant? Or just stay home and order in? None of this makes logical sense. If you aren't feeling comfortable to go out with a black eye then don't. Reasonable people understand. Assholes don't.
OP, it can be easy to lose yourself in what starts out seeming like a good relationship when the one that came before it was abusive. Think of it like romantic burnout: you’re just sleepwalking at this point, not wholly awake but more just going through the motions, wondering what’s real and what’s not.
Next steps: don’t waffle around wondering if you can change things, wondering if it’s worth it to throw away the time you’ve invested in this relationship. This isn’t healthy, and your story sounds like the one that comes before things get really dangerous, ya know? TBH, I’m worried about you, but only because I’ve been there. There is a beautiful life full of YOU time and freedom and breathing room just on the other side of you liberating yourself. But your instincts about being kinda scared aren’t off base; PLEASE BE CAREFUL here. Pack a bag with a week of clothes & toiletries, and anything you can’t replace (passport, etc.) Stash the bag at a friend’s house. Then you want to confront your fiancé with the breakup while you’re in a public place of business (not like a park, but like a restaurant) – that way, in case he goes volcanic, he’ll be hauled out by force and you won’t get hurt. Tell him he has 48 hours to get his shit out or you’ll serve him an eviction notice. Schedule a locksmith to change the locks after the 48 hours is up, and give clear instructions that ONLY you are to be given a key. Go in person to your local police station and ask them to meet you and at least one friend at your place at an appointed time the next day.
Above all, STAY SAFE and GET OUTTA THERE.
We’re rooting for you!