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Diego & Steph, 26 y.o.
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Children don't have to be abusive when coming from abuse of homes. I didn't say he was abusive; I said he is toxic. He could have called his mother or gone over to talk with her – WITH OP – to get to the bottom of the situation. Where on earth did you get anything about his brother?? OP never even mentions that her ex has a brother. How did the ex prove that the accusations were false by the way; by just saying “oh no that's not true”?? That is not proof of anything!! You know what you can do with a narcissistic parent?? CUT THEM OFF!! Cut them right out of your life. I'm saying your glorifying abuse – from the mother to be specific – because that's exactly what you're doing. You are glorifying toxicity – from both the son and the mother -as if it's completely okay. How was the ex supposed to prove that what his mother was saying isn't true?? How is OP supposed to trust that something like this won't happen again and or won't actually become reality?? Meaning how is OP supposed to trust without a shadow of a doubt that her ex will start being physically abusive?? How is she supposed to feel safe after this?? Honestly, that doesn't make any sense. She didn't just automatically believe everything; she confronted him about it and when he was dodgy about the entire situation and wanted to just gloss over it like it was no big deal; that's when alarm bells went off even more for her. That's when she questioned the truth of the matter.
You and I are definitely not going to agree here. OP isn't wrong to end things with someone she no longer feels safe with. Tbh isn't required to justify why she left him regardless of what ANYONE thinks. She doesn't HAVE to stay to “hear him out” or anything like that. Even if she did believe the accusations to be false. The moment she no longer felt safe in the relationship was the end of that relationship.