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You might consider therapy if you start to feel like it would be helpful for you. It isn't usual to have to console a partner who cries himself to sleep on a regular basis like that, and in those kinds of relationships, it can sometimes be easy to lose track of your emotional self care
For the rest, it really isn't fair of him to put his happiness on you like that and make you feel like he doesn't enjoy anything he does with you. Any normal, healthy partner wants relationships, and especially sex, to be mutually enjoyable, with both parties doing things they enjoy doing and also things they think their partner will enjoy. By depriving you of that, he's undermined the relationship.
And frankly, it isn't very likely to be true that he doesn't enjoy any of it; it's more likely that he was either lying or not really meaning or paying attention to what he said.
Sit him down, and tell him directly that it's unfair of him, as an equal partner in a mutually beneficial relationship, to not tell you what he likes, or what makes him feel good.
And just keep reminding yourself that while you are responsible for being a good and loving partner, you are absolutely not responsible for his happiness or his emotional state. If you treat him well, and he's still sad, there isn't anything you can do about that except put your own life vest on first
Your boyfriend called you “rapey,” that's all you need to hear. Drunk and as a skunk and trying to help, and you're called “rapey,” time to find a less drunk a**hole.
It was first time we were going to meet him and his wife. Does that matter at all?
I can understand that I was wrong. I won’t make any excuses.