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The question you need to ask yourself is: What does responding do for you?
At best, nothing. Maybe she doesn't respond. Maybe she says “Thanks for responding, all the best, bye forever.” AND THAT'S THE BEST CASE SCENARIO.
Worst case scenario, she fucks with your emotions more, makes you feel like shit, and you avoid meeting someone else who makes you feel appreciated.
And the same goes for not responding. She… get's sad? Oh well, she's an adult, and can handle not getting a response from someone she broke up with.
Don't even bother. The bar is under hell. Sex in the parking garage? WTF?! Why are you putting up with this poor treatment? He's not worth it at all.
Well it's kinda the point of having a threescore that your partner isn't going to focus on you all of the time. Otherwise what's the point of bringing in a third person?
So, I might be very weird, but I find the “normal relationship stuff” worse than the current situation.
At least where I live!, a black eye is something that people tend to associate with fights, violence and/or abuse. As such, I do have some understanding of why being out and about with someone who has one might cause anxiety – in my country, people are becoming more and more aware of things like domestic abuse towards men and things like waiters asking guys with injuries if everything is alright while the partner is going to the toilet is getting more common. Which is a very good thing, but it can definitely lead to awkwardness (and it might be very different where you on-line).
So with your black eye, I actually, at first, understood Nicole a tiny bit – especially since you didn't explicitly state that she was upset because your eye would ruin pictures, just “that she minded”. If she never actually said that it would ruin pictures and this is just your conclusion based on her normal behavior, I would ask her about what exactly her issue was, by the way.
However.
Historically, it's been little things like asking me to change what I'm wearing before going out or having me retake the same picture a dozen times because she isn't satisfied with it. Pretty normal relationship stuff.
No. No, no, no. This is not, in no way whatsoever normal relationship stuff. In a normal relationship, you don't try to control what your partner is wearing (unless, you know, it smells, has giant holes or stains), as you want your partner happy and comfortable and love them for the way they are, not the way you want them to be.
You also don't retake a picture a dozen times. Every picture after the first take is not a genuine capture of the moment and emotion, but an annoying repeat, not made for the sake of making a memory or being happy about the experience. It's a picture for the sake of a picture; a fake not worth anything.
And that is not normal in a relationship. Your issue isn't the black eye, your issue is that your partner seems to think of you as a doll, a prop, a tool… something to change to suit her and mold to her liking, to show you off. At best, you are a trophy. She doesn't seem to have much care about what you want – what clothes you like and feel comfortable in, for example – and that implies that she doesn't see you as her partner. A partner is a teammate. An equal. But it seems that to her, you are not good the way you are. Your clothes are not okay, your pictures are not good enough when they are genuine and need to be staged instead.
It's not about you, it's about what you can do for her. But you deserve to be loved for yourself. You deserve to be loved for being kind and smart and funny, not for how good you look on photos. You deserve to be loved with your flaws and mishaps and imperfections, not despite them. You're not a tool and being her partner isn't a job you have to fulfill in a certain way. You're a person worthy of having a picture taken with you even if your clothes might not be perfectly matched, if your eye is swollen and if you aren't posing perfectly. Because all of that, those imperfections, your tastes, your true smile on that first picture… that's you. But she doesn't want “you”. “You” are, to her, not good enough for a genuine picture, in the way you want to dress and currently look. But that just means that she is the one who isn't good enough for you – because you deserve someone who loves you, like you are.
I love this!
Indeed. It would be kind of upsetting if it were the crab from The Little Mermaid