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Why do you think the assaults aren't real, even if the products are crappy? SA is depressingly common, and sometimes survivors will latch onto something that they think will prevent the next one, even if it's not likely to be that effective in reality.
Honestly you just sit him down and tell him everything you said here. That he's checked out of your marriage and not being a good dad. That he's had lots of chances and you realized you're better off as a single mom. That you hope he gets therapy so you can put your baby first and coparent well together.
Get a lawyer, pack his stuff, and tell him to find a friend or family member to move in with while you separate annd finalize the divorce. And organize an exit plan in case he refuses to leave. But you can be separated while living together. My advice though is not to have sex again. You want to show the courts when divorce comes you were living together but apart as roommates while you set yourselves up for the next steps.
Good luck OP
He is getting there for sure.
You have 3 years to generate your share of the deposit which means you should be able to keep your flat if you have a half decent job and save. Plus, if the flat is paid off, can’t you do a home equity loan or line of credit on the flat? If not, the passive income generated from the rental of the flat will only help down the line. I’d say to her that in your opinion, finances should be kept separate when it comes to assets that you already have. You can contribute your share and passive income from self sustaining properties like a condo is actually a better means for a healthier financial future – because it’s true
This kind of game playing is obnoxious.
Hahahahahhahaha. I’m only laughing because men are addicted to porn and that’s not an issue, but when she reads it, that’s a problem? If you watch porn you can’t really say anything to her, now if you don’t watch porn and this DOES bother you I can totally understand that. It provides a false idea of what a relationship and what sex is. I would sit her down and tell her how you feel.
Tell him ASAP. Talk about it. Yes, this will affect your relationship, but there is no other way. Good luck
Your gesture was not kind, it was creepy and manipulative. Leave her alone – she has made it clear she isn’t interested
I will wait to see what she have to say. She tald me right away that he asked him what was that all about when he sat beside her during tests and he said that is not like she was thinking etc. Eighter way i think its wrong for her to be that frendly with him there but okay we will se what she have to say
It doesn't matter what the social norm is. I think you need to talk to your boyfriend about whether or not he's using his parents as an excuse. Maybe he isn't actually ready to meet your parents. Maybe it feels too grand for him to meet your parents while wondering how it'll go with you and his. To me, it sounds like you need to have a long talk with him and figure out what you're missing.
Clearly she should just buy him a new truck and the problem would be solved ??♂️. He probably also paid for the surprise breakfast with her credit card. Even bought himself a case of beer for later with the breakfast he bought.
He got you gifts, sounds like an effort. Honestly, aside from grade school and maybe muddle school I've never heard of an established couple asking someone to be their valentine.
Wouldn’t it be nice to be with someone who cherished you? And made you feel like he’s never even look at another woman?
Yeah. Dump this clown and find that guy
He didn't cheat on you if he broke up with you.
He is stone cold. He should remain your ex.
How does he react to you talking to other guys? Anyone who's a hypocrite about stuff like this is just a clown to be avoided.
Say nothing and follow him lol let him panic on his own.
I’m confused about the car. It was off and she was charging her phone? Or was it turned on just for the accessories?
Because the innanet says i can be
He should go to therapy separately and then you guys go to couples counseling.
Well, we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. So no need.
Talk to your therapist about what you need to say. They need to know you aren't part of the plan so that they can make other plans. Since you have a partner, you might ask him if he's willing to be the fall guy (is he okay with you taking on another baby?) and tell them your partner said No.
Three months in and already pregnant and moved in together with a guy with two kids? I won't be surprised if her request expandsvto include keeping an eye on his kids as well.
Tell her how you feel and that you feel something was going n for some time. Tell her even if it were to ruin her career you do not want her to enable any kind of flirting. Make it clear there can be no compromise on this, and she needs to shut him down directly and properly as she should any kind of flirting attempts, regardless of how important person for her job they may be.
You can of course just break up, but you already know that, so I thought I might as well propose an alternative solution if you want to stay.
Literally just saying that it's not rare, it's common. That was the reasoning used in the original comment I replied to, that was used to suggest it definitely wasn't because of some trauma. I'm saying actually it's common so that's not necessarily true. That's all.
I don't think what they're doing is morally right or anything like that. Just disputing the rarity as it's central to the judgement of the comment.
I wouldn't say so. A lot of people are uncomfortable with that because it's a recipe for disaster.
Yes I am. I’ve made my mind up, it seems days ago.
Yikes, that is a tough situation.
Whatever you do, do not make it about yourself. Its time to buckle down and try to weather the storm.
The upcoming months for your GF is going to be a lot… And it could cause her to completely withdrawal emotionally from the relationship.
If you encounter that, don't combat it and make things more complicated. If she needs space, so be it. It may be a series of unfortunate events that causes the relationship to fall apart and there is nothing you could have done to save it.
I know its challenging situation considering it was an ex of hers. But try and not view that way. It was a very recent chapter in her life that ended and to find out someone you once loved has passed, that is naked to go through.
I left. I'm glad I left. Trying to stay and sleep next to him made me bitter and angry. I didn't want to be bitter and angry trying to raise a child. My baby deserves a happy mom. So I left, and now we coparent and he's very sorry he lied and would do anything to make it up to me but…it wasn't a one time mistake. It was a habit, a pattern, many choices on many occasions.
This could be a cheats way out but to soften the blow I would go for something like ‘right I’ve got a lot of work coming up so I’m off grid for the foreseeable and won’t be responding to any messages. If you need to talk I’m sure the xxx group we’re on will help’ And blow away that way.
I did. “We share our location for several issues”. What does that mean?
FYI I don't know where my supervisor lives and haven't ever needed to. If I did know, I wouldn't be calling around all the time it's a Sus.
Ask her out and be a good guy to her if u wanna help xD
You’re right. Thank you.
Don’t do anything. Girls will do whatever they want to do. If she is yours, she will stay loyal by her choice. If she is a cheater, she will hook up with him and any of your potential tantrums will not prevent it. Watch and see & draw conclusions. A little flirting is harmless in itself, just let her. It’s a spice of life.
Its a bit of a catch 22…..
On one hand seems a bit over the top to bring up moving/immigrating when you're not even oficially a couple…….but…..without at least one of you willing to move being more than well what you are now is pointless long term.
Ideally both parties should be at least open to either country. Its a big ask and should require at least some openness. Short of some dealbreaking factor about the country anyway. This assumes that uprooting itself isnt a dealbreaker.
Before you ask if he would be ok moving to (I'm going to use two countries for example) Italy would you be willing to move to Japan?
Oh look at miss goody two shoes over here. I'm sure you've never broken a law before, never stole not even a pencil, never drove over the speed limit or anything
Maybe build the relationship with dad on your own, and then ask her to give him a chance because you've seen for yourself and he's demonstrated that he's not coming out of the clink with new problems and potentially exposing your kids to something problematic. Prison isn't summer camp and the transition is effing naked. I know “family” is supposed to be this anchor against recidivism but caution still needs to be taken. You do not really know this man. He could be coming out with addiction, affiliations, or a host of unfinished business. Or he could be reformed and amazing. Figure that out before letting your kids see their parents fall apart over prison grampa. Protect them against broken hearts.
Do you think she could have a bit of a crush on you?
Are you accustomed to always receiving compliments from others? Maybe he just isn't the type to compliment often. Does he compliment other girls that you know of? If not, then I wouldn't worry about it.
Honestly the only way I could see you moving on is marriage counseling. I am sure that we reddit people use it as a scapegoat but coming from a man who is currently putting his money where his mouth is and in marriage counseling, I honestly think it's the only way to be real about everything and see how/if you can move on *together.
I wish you all the best 🙂
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but anyone that makes their partner feel “god awful” for not wanting their dick in their ass is a selfish cunt and god awful human being
Not really sure tbh. I’m just looking for advice or someone with experience close to mine. Wondering if I’m the problem or if I am just a problem to him
Option 1, but at the wedding party, drop a banner with the date you got married. The two of you can say, we were going to have this get together earlier, but there was a pandemic and everything went sideways!
Long term… yeah that's going to cause problems unless one of you is willing to alter your beliefs and lifestyle.
Not to mention her family's beliefs.
Obviously not all Mormons are like this but I had a close friend in school who was kicked out of his parents house, permanently at 18, because he asked a non-Mormon girl to prom.
No warning or anything, they found out, he showed up home after school, the doors were locked and his things were packed on the front lawn. He stayed at my house for some time until some of his other family took him in.
What are her parents like?
The family knows they've broken up but…yeah, they think he's moved in with a friend. Maybe that's really who I am..
that’s good. when my friends and i go out to bars and clubs, we always make sure that no one is left alone.
good luck with your bf! tell him if u feel comfortable and safe. if he get’s mad at you then he’s not the right guy!!
Hey OP, I think you've already been given good advice and ideas to move forward so I'm not going to repeat the same thing about that. What I do want to emphasize is that in your comments you said that this is the first time something like this has happened, that you never argue viciously and that the arguments or anger last a couple of hours maximum, in addition to the fact that your husband is laidback, So that leads me to think that SOMETHING is happening to him to have acted in such an unusual way.
That is why I advise you that when you talk to him, you try to see what happened to him that led him to act to such an extreme. People don't change from one day to the next out of the blue, something happens to them.
Yeah, and people living into their 80s isnt some new thing. If he didn’t think monogamy worked when people lived past 40, that would be, like, his entire lifetime. He should have probably mentioned this before he got married.
Sometimes people grow out of the obsession with discovering a “new” identity. Sometimes they don’t. This “us vs. them” thing is very Internet Autism, though. I don’t know what you can really do about it.
What is your normal sex life like? How many times a week? What does he do for you outside of “just sex”? How much foreplay? How long during actual sex? Does he try to get you to come?
Nota knock on you. But Basically, I can't fathom entering a relationship where a woman says what you did where you're like “I guess I could give you head once a month”. That's crazy to me. I need sexual chemistry so high that we're both begging to get our mouths on each other. Where we're in a competition to give more pleasure than we get.
But I derive most pleasure in sex from giving it. I would feel like a pitiful idiot if I had to beg for any sexual act. It's not uncommon for me to make my gf orgasm two or three times in a session and just ask what I can do better afterwards. This generally means I have very eager partners who don't have to be asked to do anything. It's just a frenzy of people trying to fully share an enjoyable time.
All that to say, the only men I've been familiar with who regularly had to ask for BJs were lazy and selfish lovers. They had women who rarely climaxed, and so were generally not eager to jump in for oral, etc.
I've never had to ask, but it's not uncommon to get head multiple times a night when I sleep with my partner. Because it's not uncommon for them to orgasm multiple times before that.
And I don't understand why people settle for selfish lovers
Your shit will be outside at 6 and in the dumpster by noon. No coming back from this
Seems Like op took advantage
I had twins at age 34. It's certainly exhausting. If she has that much help though, and is only 24, she shouldn't be that tired. You do sound like a caring, responsible, hardworking husband. It could be a lack of maturity on her part, I don't know. Adjusting expectations may be a good conversation to have. Maybe she think going back to your old sex lives sounds impossible…
As boring as it sounds, many married couples with kids have to schedule sex! My husband and I have to. In crazy seasons, even if you say this month on this Friday night (or whatever) it's sexy time. Maybe lowering the expectations will help. Women are funny in that we can go without it a long time, but the more sex we get the more we want it.
You guys need to jump back in the saddle somehow…
Bottom line is: you love each other, marriage is about compromise, and she needs to hear your needs and care. If she's too depressed or something else medical, then she should care enough about you to pursue a solution.
My twins are 10. I'm still tired. Perpetually exhausted. I have never lost all the baby weight. We still enjoy sex …it may only be once a week if we are lucky. Sometimes twice a month. The important thing is we communicate and we try. And that connection is important in our marriage.
Nothing left to do but let him break it off. Sorry OP, but your ex boyfriend has huge insecurity issues. It's not on you to help resolve them. It was either that or he is just trying to find ways to end the relationship.
My current partner probably gave it to me. He couldn’t have informed me about it, and even if he could it wouldn’t make a difference.
I honestly understand why I've already got comments telling me to dump him. I've seriously considered getting him to confess to her his shady behaviour instead.
I don't think he is purposely trying to gaslight me and I've said to him that i consider this cheating. He's the nicest partner I have been with and I really don't want to just throw it away, I know from experience why you shouldn't give a cheater a second chance and yet I'm doing it.
He really wants help but he should have known better. I am aware of why this is wrong but I do want to try fix the relationship.
Wait he tried to cheat with the girl who was actually your friend, and despite having undeniable proof you went ahead and married him anyways? Please tell me ‘husband’ is a type and you meant bf?
Yeah he is not the problem, you are because you’re still here with whatever ‘I can’t leave him’ reasons you have
Read : Not Just Friends by Dr Shirley Glass.
She the expert on how coworkers relationships should be managed.
It's based on research of couples that experienced infidelity. Good people that did not intend to cheat and thought they were in control of the flirting.
Lessons learned and things and topics that should not be discussed ever.
He did once what you did six times in a row. I fail to see how you come off worse in this comparison.
If he is not ready he is not ready, rushing only will cause divorce and pain
All we can possibly do is speculate. Big picture, she wants to give it another shot. But there's some things to consider; why did she suggest you were moving too fast? What would now make her think it's time to try again? Is it possible that she was seeing other people and chose someone else (which is fine)?
At the end of the day, you have nothing to lose. If you want to give it a shot, give it a shot. But she be mindful of the overall situation. Good luck.
Do not reply.
All I could see from your past posts is that your sex, age, and story swaps around a lot.. nothing about this though. All over the place for the last two days, when you created this account.
Got to ask, are you trying to farm karma? Second question, why?
Why are you trying to control your girlfriend? Get ok with her going to dinner with friends. JFC.
A lot of triggered women on here lol
It is not a riddle so answer clearly because you need to understand.
It's impossible to work things through with someone who won't take part in the process. She'll have to agree to ground rules to communication before you can communicate. Good luck, it's very frustrating.
So… You found a religious group to help you get through almost losing your boyfriend… Who you now have no time for because of your religious group?
“Sorry hon… I'll have to pencil you in some time next week because I'm meeting the people that helped pull me through almost losing you again.”
This is why men die first, and we're strangely kinda ok with it.
I will put it like this…would you want a guy you were into to just go through the motions if he did not feel like you were into feminine energy?
If that guy was turned off by how you fashion yourself as a woman and had no respect for how you expressed your femininity?
Or would you rather they tell you that?
Would you rather be strung along bc you are “almost good enough but not quite” or would you rather someone tell you “hey look you got things going for you but there is nothing lasting here for me”?
its not about views. its about actions. he got a job anyways. he makes well above the median salary for POC, yet hes still salty about one job rejection. He threw my trust away when he implicitly supported candidates that want to take away my rights as a human being. I have a lot more to lose from this than he did. Is there anyway he can earn back my trust?
The fact that he's downloaded it multiple times despite you telling him it makes you uncomfortable, and actively hiding it from you (tilting his phone away), is definitely evidence that he's hiding something.
Lol. This makes total sense now.
Good luck funny boy. I know you can make it.
Wow. All of this because she believes you should isolate if you’re sick. That’s nuts. And then you begged and groveled and apologized? This can’t be what you want.
You need to give us more information, what flaws are you talking about?
It's fair that he wouldn't want to date somebody who is very suicidal, I've done that before and it fucking destroyed me. But that is very different from just having other various mental health problems.
Bro you don’t gotta be 30+ to know that this is fucking stupid thing to do
Perhaps try talking with her about why she prefers dating older men, and then you, specifically. If she says she doesn’t know, then that would be the main concern. Younger dating older often comes with understandable benefits, such as you perhaps being more stable and reliable, having a set career path or a planned future. It’s also alluring to be with someone who has lived long enough to enjoy being autonomous and both knows who they are and likes who they are. While that can be true of people in their 20’s, they still have quite a few years ahead of them that are (typically) full of personal exploration, growth and change. I’m her defense, dating older men can be challenging for her in HER friends and family circle.
If you really care about her, the only adult way through this is to have honest conversations about how you view one another and what expectations you have of each other. If you don’t care much for her, then let her go find someone who will.
LMAO – what a statement! but I do agree to it – you wanna marry that toad?
This!!!!
Your boyfriend does not understand boundaries.
Omg no girl pls leave
Seems like it might be a good time to end the relationship. I think you guys have different goals.
I just don’t understand how you can tell someone you love them and then do this stuff 🙁
Maybe “date” is a subjective term
Right. But you didn’t answer the question.
Was she crying and showing fear in her eyes while you had her pinned down and you refused to get off of her under she “surrendered”? Are did she cry and seem scared after it was over.
I’m fairly certain he didn’t cheat. She has a boyfriend now who she lives with. But it’s not why it bothers me. She’s done and said stuff in the past that hurt me wether or not it was her intention. I was shocked to see he was still talking to her
I would also argue she should talk to her brother because he needs to know these are not safe people to be around. It's not fair to him to keep this information from him. They believe that he is less deserving of basic human right, just because of something he cannot control. He needs to know that, like yesterday.
I have a couple options I use when I don't have access to therapy.
First is journaling / art – this will also show up in a lot of the self help books and is often a part of therapy. If writing your first post and update helped you feel better, journaling might be a good solution, it's just taking all the thoughts when they're overwhelming and putting them down on paper, or on a digital journal. I like paper because I like nonlinear journals, it means I just flip to a random page in the journal, pick a part of the page (a lot of my pages I've broken into segments or drawn big circles or funny shapes to write in), and fill the whole space with my words. I like the nonlinear a lot because if someone else tries to read it, it's noncohesive to anyone but myself. Drawing as well, even bad drawings to just get the feelings out.
The other thing I liked from self help books and therapy is finding a new hobby or learning a new skill. I can highly recommend knitting, crochet, quilting, or even just reading for pleasure, since you can also find groups for all those activities (and they're pretty mixed age groups, though with a bias towards older). A knitting circle is actually a really good place to find good friends and something productive to do outside your apartment every week. (It's also more affordable than a cooking class, though if there's a free cooking class in your area, those are also great productive distractions).
But yes, the public library is a very good resource. Besides Hoopla and Libby for books, the library has online free classes for a ton of things from creative to business to language, can help you find clubs to join, and more! It's also a place outside your apartment to go to that's still pretty quiet.
Please don’t, you’ll look opportunistic and foolish. Let her sort out her life.
You're good. I would have left after he announced to the park that his hemorrhoid's burst. I feel bad because that situation is awful, but dude! Can you not wait for 5 mins to clean yourself? Also no bathing between the beach and other activities is gross and a great way to get an infection. Be glad you got a free trip despite the issues.
Thank you! I understand what you are saying.
Break up, he is putting his mom 1st. You deserve a better partner.
You can tell him to get some therapy to see how bad his mom treats him, but you should expect it to help much.
Sounds like a nightmare relationship
I bet she wouldn't have the same issue at that point, I think this might be a sort of FOMO manifestation. With the next partner I suspect she'd be ok as long as she's their 2nd.
Something is off. & if your gut tells you that then go with it. I swear a woman’s intuition is everything!!!
I’m a cardiologist in the medical profession once u get your practice up and running hours normalize so yes he will have time to spend with his family minus the cheating wench
Marine Corps, found in another comment
We get that..I have a 2 yr old. She has 2 teens and an 8 yr old. Pretty sure her older kids must know something. My wife is trying to avoid separation so that I won’t have to pay child support or have to go through a custody battle. Which I would 100% fight for since I am the one that does everything for my son.
You think?
Absolutely what I was thinking. I doubt this is real though, surely nobody is this oblivious that they are 100% the problem. On the off chance this is real OP is not only abusive, controlling and DEEPLY jealous and insecure, he is also extremely immature. This person is dangerous in the extreme.
Ugh, I didn't push it to far because I'm afraid I already know why she said it. She was super quiet after
“Bottom Surgery”? No, you are not ready!
Same. They set people up to disappoint them for not getting them what they really wanted. This is why you should just tell people exactly what you want and not tell them to surprise you.
I’m so exhausted and I don’t know what to do anymore
This is an easy one. Walk. Away.
Ouch. He yells or uses a supercilious tone with you and then says YOU have to get used to it. No, honey, you don't. Walk out on him when he starts, and don't come back until you get an abject apology.
He's being a jerk, and don't you dare let him make you think you're the problem.
Why that?
Yes.
What you really need to apologize for is telling him. What you did was cruel and greedy. He demonstrably wants to be a father. And you just dropped the bombshell on him that he could have been one a decade ago. That he could have had a decade with a son or daughter, bonding with them and growing as a family. That has to hurt him quite a bit.
And it was pointlessly greedy. He never needed to know this. He never needed to know what he may have missed out on. You told him solely because you wanted to ease your conscious. You told him because you wanted to, not because it was right to do. He is hurting because you told him something he never needed to know. This was a “take it to the grave” secret, not a “hey imma just casually drop this on ya” secret.
There is no undoing this. You need to give him time to process that he lost a potentially decade long family and child, and he never even had a hint of it.
I consider myself to be “conservative” leaning.
I support gay marriage, have no issue with people who are trans, etc. I voted for gay marriage rights in my state.
Why would I have an issue with gay/non binary people having the same rights to marriage, health insurance, property rights, etc…as straight couples?
As long as what people are doing is consensual and legal (i.e., parties are old enough to consent), I don't care.
Want to identify how you want? Fine.
One of the only areas I do have issues is where biological males who have a physical advantage go in and blow up women's sports and take away scholarship opportunities for women. Or force them to change in the same locker room as biological men…(simply because the choice is being taken away from women whether they are comfortable with this).
I don't care if male identifying transgendered individuals want to compete in men's sports if they want because it does not present the same unfair advantages as can present when biological males make the switch to female sports.
You are young and don't have to be with someone who feels their opinion is superior to yours and makes you upset. He tells you to deal with arguments like an adult? The adult thing to so is to assess whether you want to deal with someone being an asshole to your family, friends, and yourself??
Having political differences is fine. My wife and I don't agree with each other on many issues. That's fine. We can discuss differences without becoming angry or feeling hurt. It is possible. But we also don't insult eachother, or say mean things to each other or our respective family or friends.
If you can have open/honest communication without being mean or nasty, it can work. If not, cut your losses and don't accept you have to be unhappy or feel unvalued or less than.
Get rid of him and find someone else. Even a roommate who picks up after themselves will be better. You will end up resentful and miserable.
If this level of rage gets to this level, this is a problem. All you did was ask him to do his washing, which is fair. Take this as a sign of your future with him. Do you want this?
Especially when you are tired or out of emotional steam, take a breath as self care and then practice stopping to think.
If you realise that you could be happier by making others happy, then do that.
Don't let short term failures become entrenched.
Talk to your mother about your approach and ask and expect fair respectful critique.
View it as repairing the relationship and building an equal adult relationship for the future.
Sometimes your mum might cross the line too… she will be learning through the process. Calmly and clearly refrain from escalation an address it later when you are both in a place of emotional safety and receptiveness.
Yes, but when things start to get messy either don't think about it or address it real fast. Up to you
Some things to think about:
I'm guessing you don't have a problem with “enjoying short-term pleasure” actually. Going to a party. Going to a movie. Hanging out with friends. Going to the beach. Eating a fancy meal out. Going to an amusement park. Eating a chocolate bar.
I'm guessing you specifically have a problem with short-term SEXUAL pleasure, and more specifically, sexual pleasure with a person you're not in a romantic relationship with. Because really, all sexual pleasure is short-term pleasure. You have sex, and then it ends, until the next time you have sex.
Also, I'm guessing you've been jerking off for most of your adult life, probably while watching pornography or at least looking at pics of other people you're not in a committed relationship with, if you're like most men these days, but maybe just thinking about those sexual scenarios in your mind while you jerk off. Is that sort of short-term sexual pleasure also objectionable? Does it also cause “psychological consequences”? Or is it only bad if there's another person in the same room as you who is also enjoying the experience?
Imagine having so many options in life that getting the “ick” is even a factor in your dating life.
Good luck finding a perfect person.
Can I ask, what line of work is he doing?
Of course you should've known that. She's still in the middle of a divorce, sounds like their dad isn't around much, and she's already bringing in “replacement dad”. Experts recommend at least 6 months before you even meet the kids, and at least a year before you're sleeping over. This instability is terrible for them, and it's going to be naked on them when you disappear, too. I think you both knew that, you just didn't care because spending time together was more important than the kids' welfare. So she's not just a single mom, she's a crappy one who puts a guy she just met above her kids in her priorities. Yikes.
So I can think of a number of reasons that would come down to your boyfriend being bad news. For example, he could lying because he doesn't like you drinking and is trying to manipulate you into stopping. Or he could be lying to try to lower your self esteem and “standing” in your relationship and make sober you feel like you have something to make up to him.
I know you said you love him which I'm not doubting. I just think 2 months is not enough time to know somebody fully and I find it suspicious that your medication has truly only changed your behavior to one person and only when you two are alone so nobody can confirm.
I think you should record yourself or ask him to record you so you can see how you're behaving if you choose to continue drinking.
However, I also think you should stop drinking while on the medication. It is contraindicated for a reason and what you're doing is unsafe.
Yup, which is why it’s called THE TALK. As in, communicating about exclusivity.
I am behind the policy of transparency so I would have told my bf right away to avoid any impression of deception. That’s how I do handle these things and I guess the most important thing is that she didn’t cheat. But I would have preferred to know.
Well, I don't think it would be fair to leave without letting her make choices as well. Tell her what you told, inform her that you want to be with her, but these are the issues that will arise from your side, and she deserves to be informed early on.
After having conversation about it with her you can think about this matter once again.
What was the situation?
Not true. They got my friend’s dog back in a similar situation
So what's the question here, He doesn't like to cook, his solution is take out.
Are you asking how to change him? You won't.
Are you asking if you should be required to cook meat for him? I don't think so. You are free to prepare meals you want to eat.
Is this a deal breaker for you? I mean if he had a deal breaker that you had to be able to change your on oil, your own brakes on your car and wanted to know how to get you to do that what advice would you give him? What if he didn't like you paying a mechanic to perform these tasks?
None of her behaviour is beneficial to your relationship.
You may wish she was the girl but she’s not ready to be a reliable partner and you weren’t able to enforce your own boundaries.
There is nowhere positive for this relationship to go.
None of her behaviour is beneficial to your relationship.
You may wish she was the girl but she’s not ready to be a reliable partner and you weren’t able to enforce your own boundaries.
There is nowhere positive for this relationship to go.
??????????????
Yes someone mentioned making a report even if they won't do an investigation. It gives a paper trail to gim incase anyone ever is abused by him then they will see that someone had reported him prior. You could call CPS anonymously first to see if you could make a report there and then call the police as well just to cover yourself and any victims in the future.
If you're not ready to cut them off, then you're equally unready for a committed relationship. Your partner deserves someone who understands the necessity of growing up and maturing enough to recognize that your family is out of line. As long as your strategy is to allow their disrespect rather than putting your foot down for the sake of your relationship, you need to remain single, only have fwb, etc.
Looking for a new job will help but I encourage you to say nothing especially when he opens up to talk about it, which may be nude for him but listen. Just be there and listen. That’s the gift so many of us need and do few provide. You can’t fix it but you can be there.
He didn’t ghost you, he told you he didn’t want anything. He changed his mind, told you, and now isn’t responding because there’s nothing more to say from his perspective.
Rejection feels is like shit. But it has nothing to do with do with your worth. Your worth isn’t determined by how people treat you, it’s an inherent quality dictated by your humanity.
So it’s fine to feel hurt, take some time and have a sad, and then pick yourself up a bit and get back out there if you want to. Treat yourself kindly, like you would with a friend going through this.
I’m sorry, good luck.
If that's all you have to go on, you're reaching.
It's two dumb numbs for characters. It ain't that deep.
That is so weird ,I’m sorry but that relationship is completely inappropriate and I would be highly concerned about what else they are role-playing. i’m 24 years old and I can’t even imagine befriending an 18 year old boy and what we could possibly have in common. It’s giving a really icky grooming feeling. I feel like if you broke up with him they would end up being together. ?♀️
Just bounce dude. She's a liar regardless of anything else.
It wasn’t like this in the beginning at all. Before we got an apartment, we were living with his family in Louisiana (we now online in WA state which is where I am from). When we were living with his family, the first thing he did was clean the room we were staying in when he woke up, helped me do the laundry, we helped with the house chores, etc. From that behavior, I thought that he was a clean person. But now I realize that he was doing that because we were living under someone else’s roof. I wouldn’t have ever gotten with him if I knew he lived like this.
Break up with her and ghost
Go to therapy to learn how to be a better communicator and to learn to stay away from those types of women.
If you stay with this type it's your own fault for not changing yourself
Can you give more details about your relationship?
Sometimes a person is in psychosis and are unable to recognize it. They will not willingly seek help because they don’t think anything is wrong, but because they aren’t hurting themselves or anyone else, they can’t be involuntarily held. Idk if that is the best way to deal with this specific scenario in America.
Is she a third person in your wedding? Seems a bit dramatic planning your wedding around 1 person so much. If she can’t attend the wedding you want, that’s not your problem
Porn usage will vary between each couple.
So, I think that is where your conversation needs to start.
Two questions to ask yourself:
What are your thoughts of your partner occasionally using porn? Do you feel like porn has impacted your sex life and intimacy?
Then go from there.
Some couples are open to usage as along as their relationship is not impacted. Others have a zero tolerance for it. And its on you two to discover what's right.
Think so and maybe a 2 weeks or so
You're either a troll or really dumb and either way I'm washing my hands of this. GL
Put an end to this relationship. He was flirting other women and now he’s on a trip with her. He didn’t want you there. It seems he’s cheating on you with her. This trip was planned for them together.
It’ll be nude to leave because you’ve been together for a long time.
He’s not the kind of man you want to spend your future with. just tell him you don’t trust him anymore. Start planning your breakup.
She doesn't want you to follow through because then who's going to support her lazy ass? This relationship has run its course and you 100% deserve someone that does not manipulate you and acts like a grown up
Dump him
No shade but I read through your comment history and that seems to be your MO. I thought at first you hated women but it would make more sense that you’ve just been hurt in the past.
Oxytocin, you need to learn little one. It matters.
Omg people are fucking crazy. People literally go out of their way to be unhappy.
Do you believe a person can only have one true love.
Yeah, that's called bias and as a man it's hurtful
2/7.
DO NOT DO IT. Nothing good can come of this…it is a HUGE red flag. You don't know him.
Are you a bot?