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But thats the thing, i am lol i always have been but yeah u right
I mean in all fairness OP has treated her stepchildren better than her bio child. So it tracks.
I’m sure we’re all dying to know how this goes lol. But I’m sorry to hear she’s done that to you. Not only should her partner know, she needs to face the consequences of her actions. She’s actively trying to get away with this and hide the awful person she is from someone who trusts her
It was for the house. Sounds like you should get her a birthday present. Something for her that she wants.
Every damn time LOL
Uhm. Whut?
?
You’re a ? if you stay with this guy.
3 months and he’s already taking your stuff and stomping your boundaries? Life is too short. Toss him out.
Well, I hope you're telling the truth and not pulling the “I maintained eye contact during conversation but was staring across the room” card.
Also, I assume your GF is backing you on this one.
Anyways. Be strong in your stance, only you know how you behaved.
I am sure, you two are not the only ones who noticed the dress.
Some take these social events as a way to get all eyes on them and be center of attention… mission accomplished. Now the attention turned sour with accusations.
Is there someone who you're close to in this group that you can plead your case… maybe get your GFs opinion involved as well.
The only way I would stay with him after that is through some very special circumstances:
He was horrified by his own reaction and apologized He was himself abused as a child, and/or had a parent that hit animals, so he thinks it’s the only way or it’s a natural reaction that bubbled up out of him in a moment of frustration. He is aware that this was not ok and is willing to work on himself and dig deep into why he reacted that way – and take steps to change it.
If he doesn’t have much experience with dogs (and especially puppies), he may not realize that the puppy didn’t pee on the floor in front of you as an open act of defiance – it just didn’t know better. And if he grew up around abusive behavior, he may believe deep down that open defiance by a child or animal should be met with force.
This is the only set of circumstances that would make his action somewhat understandable to me, and only if he were willing to acknowledge his mistake, commit to never using violence again, and work on himself, would I stay with him if I were you.
This is one of those moments where you have to decide how committed you are to your gf. You want the rights to such information, you’re going to have to ask for them. And that means you’re in it for the long haul.
Like if she ghosts me like even if it’s j like an hour or less I just get so pissed off and think maybe she doesn’t care anymore
An hour of no contact isn't ghosting. That's a normal gap in communication for many people.
Are you trying to sink this relationship? If so, the good news is that you could do much, much more to achieve that. Oh wait, that's probably not good news.
Stop being so immature, clingy, needy, and insecure.
Dump him. He will move on to the next one and you will be in the same position as his previous gf. He’ll cheat on you with the next one.
And stop having unprotected sex with new partners that you aren’t official/committed to. 8 months and neither of you saying you are committed and exclusive means you run the risk of STD’s.
Sounds like he’s already messing around with someone else if he asked you to test, because he’s worried he’s passed something on to you.
Gaslighting you by making out it’s you that’s not “clean” is a disgusting thing to do.
Thank you. Was me giving her “space” today by not sending a followup text a bad move on my part?
What is a mix baby?
I am older than 26 and went to a CVS for all three shots. In the US, health insurance almost always covers shots as preventive care (bc this is less expensive than having to deal with the side effects of catching one of the covered hpv viruses). It takes a year to get all three shots with the wait periods. It’s worth it
Or she has a bunch of other boyfriends that she uses for her other nights to keep her self supported. Kind of very hot to call him a girlfriend we only get together once a week and only for days if she was really your girlfriend she would want to be with you, I mean I’m dating and I’m more than twice your age and the person that I’m dating can’t get enough of me. And that’s only after five months.
Just let him know that you aren’t feeling it, there is just something missing. You don’t think it will work out.
Don’t string him along & waste his time, and don’t ghost.
This seems beyond fiction, but I will play along. OP you made your choice 4 years ago, this is just your son's reasonable reaction to it. There was no way it wouldn't end this way.
I told him I couldn't afford rent before I moved in and he said it was okay. I couldn't live! with my mom anymore with the cops being called on her and everything else… but from now on we plan to 50/50 rent because my financial situation improved.
Not sure this is safe. He seems volatile and intent on keeping whatever it is secret
Sorry, your fiancée needs to put her foot down with her mother.
My husband and I were there with my mom (similar overbearing situation), and it’s going to get worse especially if it’s not addressed right now. Ignoring it will just encourage her to keep behaving how she is because there are no consequences.
The fact is none of it would happen like this if we arent in LDR, which makes it even harder and we wont see eachother till May
Yes he is a big emotional cheater and I'm sorry you have to go through this. It would be good to collect something as evidence.
He doesn't care or respect you at all, because he doesn't stop and seems to not see his wrong in this. Now there is this girl in your hometown.. it won't stop as emotional when he can have access to the physical.
Yes my advice would be to leave, but you don't have much to go on. I'm confused for your sake and I want to wish all the well, but this will be a big struggle for you.
I feel for you OP??
Block her.
When I walked out she knew it was a big deal, the dozen messages, and her long email plus the voicemails of her crying were pretty telling. I spent over half my life looking for someone like her and to kick her to the curb over this would be ignorant. We have a very complicated lifestyle and bonds between us that I could never have with another human being. She isn't getting a pass on this but I'm not kicking her to the curb either.
Ok so in this case you are in the wrong. You offered to make her dinner. When she happily accepted, you changed the rules and made it “I’ll make you dinner but only if you do what I tell you to” which in this case is to get the groceries YOU demand she get. If she has most of the items at home, common sense says you don’t need to buy them. She has them. What she does not have YOU buy. You offered the dinner so you buy the necessary ingredients. This is no different then if she said I’ll take you to your favorite place for your birthday but you have to pay for yourself. Don’t be so cheap. There’s nothing much expensive In carbonara.
thanks for the comment bro rrly helped me gain some clarity rrly appreciate it
Dk. Seen a few posts on twt about how ppl dont look at their friends n families the same after their lack of care during covid.
Bro I was obviously being sarcastic. You need to work on your sarcasm compass. The advice is get over it. It's life man. Love and love loss is part of life and truthfully just cherish the memories. You sound like a emo teenager I'm not going to lie. Yeah it hurts sucks get over it
If you had 24 million dollars and didn’t take your gf of 8 months on a vacation what are you really doing bro
My ex cheated on me so I spat in his face when he told me. He tricked me to make up and have sex with him before he told me he cheated. I was disgusted by him and how he made me feel. My only thoughts were feelings of rage, hatred and disgust.
I wonder what feelings your gf could be feeling and what were you arguing about?
Assuming that you didn't cheat and trick her into having sex with you before she spat in your face. Did you deserve such a reaction for what you did do? Not that anyone deserves to be spat in their face but what I really mean is was her reaction understandable or way out of line?
You would also try to blackmail him? To each her own I guess
It made the guest feel unwelcome, probably, that he was rude. It’s not very hot to look at someone and say hi, sorry I’m not feeling well, I’m gonna go lie down, have a good time.
Pick up some new hobbies to make new friends. Join groups at school. Find something to focus on, especially since you don't work anymore and you only go to class twice a week. You have a lot of free time now and could be filling it up with things.
When you keep busy, you focus less on the past and can plan your future.
Autogynophile
yeah i just screenshotted and posted this on twitter, 5 other subreddits and instagram.
Yes, definitely time to part. Your future long term SO should knock your socks off. Open relationship would be taboo. Doesn't sound like you're ready for that w anyone currently
I think you're being childish.
You had a whole thing with him and your sister that included not just a dinner but an activity.
But more importantly, you picked this guy. The fact that he didn't book the 'rage room' and said he had a surprise but didn't is not something that should come as a big surprise. I don't even know him and I get a clear picture of who he is.
With regard to the balloon thing, if someone brought me a balloon for my birthday, I would find that simply bizarre. You should not assume that he would think that it would be a good idea to say he had a surprise and then give a balloon.
You did not mention whether or not he gave you an actual birthday gift. Did he?
That’s a perfectly fine reason to break up with someone and more importantly
You don’t need any reason at all! You can just break up cause you feel like it and it’s 100% justified because you feel like it.
You have to leave him, you know you do.
I defiantly one the stupid prize.
Are you sure you're not the side chick?
That's his goal ..to ruin you. Toxic.
Info: how is she turning you down when you offer trips if you don't even have her number?
Thought I should add, he did write “love” in a letter on our 1 year anniversary. Usually he would just sign his name but he put that for a reason…maybe I missed that this whole time…but you'd like he'd say it and not write it first.
You should just go get your bike and the last of your stuff and as you say goodbye tell them that's the last time they'll see you because of your dad's pedophilic behavior. Then turn toward the girl and tell her you're older than her and you hope she realizes she's being manipulated by a pedophile and to leave before he dumps her for being “too old”
I just had another friend tell me a similar thing. But phrasing it more like “ Hey I haven’t heard from you in a while, but I had a lot of fun on Monday and would like to see you again. If you don’t respond, I’ll assume you’re not interested, and that’s totally fine.”
I’d rather not assume I did something weird right off the bat, you know?
That's fair! The point was to dispute that in the US exclusivity is assumed.
The conversation can happen at any time, but it does have to happen.
Let him go hungry. Shine on!
i’m not in lala land, i am aware that this is a risky situation
Yes you are in lala land. If you weren't, you wouldn't be putting yourself in the situation. Everyone is saying the same thing in answer to your question.
I’d leave him. See here how you genuinely care about him but he’s spending his time and energy looking at other women?
There’s an imbalance in your level of care. You’ll just hurt yourself. You don’t have to deal with that baggage if you don’t want to.
And she's going to resent him if he insists on tagging along to all her trips, so they're at an impasse.
It's ultimately unimportant that she is choosing not to go on his trips. The point is that he gets to have solo time with his friends and she currently doesn't. That's something she needs for her mental health. If they can't come to a resolution on this, they may consider couples counseling, but people are affirming that her desire is not unreasonable as that can be very hot for people to determine when their spouse is fighting them so naked on something.
You did consider it. You said it's controlling and victim blaming. Also, he doesn't get to “have a boundary” on what you wear.
What you want to wear is all that matters. If this is his hill to die on let him die; you've outgrown him.
I learned a bit ago to eat a dick with my wife on most things. If it’s really REALLY important then DO NOT back down. NOW IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE. Petty shit is the worst to fight because the man will always lose. If we don’t lose we’ll lose our minds. But yeah still waiting for a genuine apology still after 18 years of knowing her?
He cheated, broke up with you, moved out and now you can’t see him. What to do next? start trying to move on. It’s over, and that’s better for you.
Are his thumbs broken? It's not your responsibility to make sure he gets up after a late night of gaming. Any adult man who puts this kind of shit on their partner should be avoided, this is a massive red flag.
I won’t comment on the speed of your relationship progress because I hope you know what went wrong by now.
Start individual counseling and start warming up to the idea of separation. Sometimes it’s the best option. Your GF should also hear some very hot truths. Arrange child care for an afternoon and get to talking.
And side bar. I get that your GF is more in the wrong than you are but you also need to step up. As tough as it is, all parents go to work to give their 100% and then come home where they’re expected to give another 100%. Fact of life. Maybe before you all go to therapy and start throwing ultimatums, you sit down and discuss split of chores and child care. She probably wasn’t able to pee in peace since the baby came and if she needs to point out to you that trash needs to be taken out, she’s not going to be open to therapy because you feel overwhelmed.
I mean he told you straight he has a “lineup”, what were you expecting?
No, I don’t want another man. I don’t want anyone but him. I would rather be single. I’m just worried when the time comes I won’t be able to love someone right.
You're young so I know it seems like you're in love basically, and I'm not going to lie it will probably suck for a while, but this is absolutely grounds for ending things permanently. She wanted to have sex with someone else, but you on the shelf so she can get you back whenever she wants, and will absolutely do this again in the future. Plus she was definitely at least emotionally cheating on you before she brought up the break. You deserve better my man.
If she's not actively seeking professional help to deal with her trauma then she's choosing to live! with it and make it your problem too.
You're not compatible and it's wasted time and energy to be with someone not wanting to overcome problems. Don't waste each other's time where you're only going to develop resentment towards her.
You’re right. And we do want to build a future, we talk about it all the time. I hate that I know he thinks he can keep this in the background for however long he wants.