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Not an assumptions. If the wedding goes ahead she will be a step mother and no matter what he is now a father.
He shouldn't land this in her lap to decide. He also has a responsibility to make sure before HE gets married to anyone that they can accept he has a child.
And for anyone to understand what that means he needs to get what exactly his role in this child's life will be.
Which I doubt is going to be pulled off in 7 days.
My husband texted me threatening to call CPS on me, though I've already been in communication with them. He's going to flip the story on them. Will giving them this heads up help me?
I thought sugar daddies were called sugar daddies cuz they are supposed to be at the age of an average father of a young adult. 33 yo and a sugar daddy? My man either has a rich daddy himself or he is an absolute loser
It was never about the iPad. He’s been looking for a reason to break up. He has some fantasy in his head of his life and you’re not in it. You need move forward on your own and understand that he will probably never be satisfied so you’ve dived a major bullet.
He wanted someone to blame for his own short comings and you were the easiest target for him. Don’t give more to someone who uses you like that. There are great men out there and he’s not one of them so be kind to yourself and move on.
I mean, I’m a woman and I certainly follow influencers I think are very hot. My personal line is when someone is trying to actually contact the person or if you know them in real life it crosses into acting inappropriately
He can do that but he wont. He refuses he wants me to do all the work. He wants me to buy champagne everytime I come over. Extra shit I'm not with it
It's very very hot to keep your eyes open when texting. Especially past 1am I'd say.
They can care so much, but with the mind caring for you it can overthink itself to sleep. Phone call might've been better.
I haven’t seen that bit. But I’m glad she went and gave him a taste of his own medicine. That’s how’s that she didn’t really want to open the marriage she just did it to make him happy. I feel very sorry for the wife.
He couldn’t close the marriage when she was upset but now he’s upset he wants to.
At any point, did you directly ask him to make plans, or tell him that you want him to make an effort on Valentine’s Day? Or did you just hope he would?
It’s not though. STDs because transmitted a lot of ways. I also wouldn’t want to start a relationship on these terms which is a personal boundary.
Your bf is controlling
I don’t really think it’s necessary to make comparisons of who is more tired, who is more stressed, and who works more. The only thing that comes from that is resentment.
When I take into account what she must be going through, I don’t measure it up to what I’m going through before making a decision of how helpful or loving i should be to her and how much she should be to me. I only see what she is going through and then do whatever I can to make it better.
So to answer your question, while I always believe I have room to improve, I take as much as I can from her load.
You said help her feel more like a woman… can you be more specific?
There’s nothing you can do but move on, unfortunately. You have to accept that you and that guy are no longer on equal footing because he’s there and you’re an hour away and it makes a difference. Most high school relationships break when people get to uni, especially if it’s different schools.
Once you get over her, you’ll be more open to experience uni life and find someone better
If you are cured, you don't have to give advance disclosure. You are only obligated to offer information about your health that could affect her, things like herpes (1 & 2), HIV, active infections or chronic ailments that impact your life in ways that could affect a prospective partner
Yeah, I think you need some really strong boundaries. You need to have a talk with her. Will you say look what you’re doing? It’s really bothering me. I want us to have a personal life as well as a business life. And then you’re gonna have to make an agreement that after six you don’t talk about work at all until the next morning. I’m not sure how you’re gonna enforce it with her maybe bribery. Maybe overnight and expensive hotel whatever you guys like.
It’s good to surround yourself with people who are more intelligent/clever/knowledgeable then you so that you can step up and better yourself by being exposed to things you weren’t aware of. You however are at the opposite end: everything you do is wrong or simply subpar for her, she doesn’t even consider you a friend let alone a boyfriend.
Do you really think living like this is going to make you a better person or give you happiness? There is a whole world of people who share your interests or approach them as novices but in a constructive way, leave her and her high standards and mingle with people who make you see your worth. It will literally change your life, believe me!
I had a friend once who under the guise of helping was always overly critical. I was going to fail school, I wasn’t going to get a job in my niche, I was going to be single etc. I was living with her and the comments were making me doubt everything, I started having panic attacks daily. Luckily around that time I met a guy who I immediately clicked with and he turned out to be my biggest supporter ever… he made me see my worth and that’s what I needed. I graduated, have an amazing career and am still with him. The girl I though was my best friend decided that she didn’t want to share the house with me anymore as I was a distraction from her studies so I just left and cut ties.
15+ years later, she never finished university, flip flopped through complicated poly relationships and then ended up marrying the one guy who held a candle to her for so many years. Last I know, she had a child with the fallback guy so now she’s doing “life coaching” in her spare time.
I'm guessing that your gf now has dirt on all those girls; they want to throw her under the bus before any of their misdeads get back to them
It doesn’t sound like they’ve been there long though. And even if it did, some small towns are like high school. People might still judge, gossip, and call him a pedophile because he is married to someone so young. I’ve seen/heard shit like that happen in small towns
Tell him he will never get it if he asks. It’s a spontaneous treat and if he even hints at it, it’s off the table.
And then just don’t do it. When you find work again, buy him a fleshlight.
You need a cat not a boyfriend.
I’m proud of you for surviving.
But it’s not too late- the fact you’re bringing up a child in a home and put food on her plate is an amazing thing. Start small. Door Dashing or McDonald’s is a liveable wage and you can sign up to adult learning classes. There’s also so many charities that will help people in your position to further themselves. Try the local library or live!
Marriage is a tool of great import in society. It provides incredible benefits and protections as a universe. There's a reason homosexual marriage was such a highly contested issue.
No. Drunk women are still legally allowed to have sex. It's not like you have 2 glasses of wine, hit .008%, and now it's rape in the eyes of the law. I appreciate where you're coming from, but you either need to re-word what you've said, or build a new understanding of the law.
Legally, agreeing to sexual contact while drunk is still consent. And under the law, you cannot take away your consent after the sexual activity has already happened (for example, when you become sober later on).
The law looks at intoxication and consent on a case-by-case basis. There are situations where a person is too high or drunk to give legal consent. Courts have found that no consent is possible when a person’s intoxication causes a loss of consciousness
That’s exactly wtf I’m doing but people wanna argue
This. ?% Looking at his post history is in no way, shape, or form, a violation of his privacy.
I asked what the best way is to talk to her about it and she just said “they can just bring it up without attacking me.” I think I know what she means but I am still not sure how to go about it without her feeling like she can't talk to me any more.
You make it sound like your conversation basically ended with her statement about not wanting to feel attacked and that you're not actually sure what she meant still, so maybe start by exploring that some more.
We probably all know what it feels like to 'feel attacked', but what kind of things exactly make her feel that way about this specific topic? What are things other people have said to her that made her feel judged in the past? Can she give any examples of situations in which she didn't feel judged? What have you done so far that has made her feel like you're safe to be around?
Do I even try or do I try to remain a safe person for her to open up to?
That's something which depends more on you and your boundaries than on her and hers.
It's not quite clear from your post what you're actually hoping to gain from talking to your friend about her drug problem, so maybe that's something you should clarify for yourself before you dive into it.
Ask her what she wants you to do. Assuming it doesn’t involve violence – do that
Update us OP
The next sentence said “or does the phone take the same as their chargers?”
Regardless, it’s suspicious the phone was charging in the bathroom especially when the phones are charged elsewhere in the home
You should be cordial and try to remain composed. You don’t need to stay there. Make an excuse to excuse yourself. It’s okay to plan it in advance with your husband. Treat them like strangers in a nice restaurant. Just remain polite and try to keep it to small talk. Good luck.
The thing is he deprioritized you.
Simple – unless he understand you are his priority and ex partners have NO demands on his time – then it is clear your relationship will not continue.
Talk with him. Does he want to have a relationship with you or with her. If with you – he needs to block her. Otherwise break up. Not worth spending the next 20-30-40 years having him being in a “relationship with her”.
If you want to try and work through it, you should insist that she get therapy starting ASAP to help her understand how she could so quickly and easily put your marriage in jeopardy for a guy she just met. That if she isn't willing to explore how swiftly she started this at the expense of your wellbeing, then it's over and you will divorce her. Because it for sure is going to happen again if she doesn't get to the bottom of why it happened this time.
And also, she obviously stops all contact with him immediately. If she waffles over that or tries to bargain you into letting her have some form of contact, it's over. Your marriage is done.
We've had space like this before. And we have never slept with anyone else.
If she does threaten suicide, call her family or one of her friends and tell them. Do whatever you have to make sure she doesn't hurt herself, even if you have to have her involuntarily hospitalized. When it comes to suicide, pull out all the stops.
Otherwise, do what you have to do for your own wellbeing, first and foremost. Good luck.
Don’t listen to these people man. What your GF said is fucked up. The relationship is too new to have to be dealing with that shit. You can find better
Hmmm. He seems a little arrogant imo. I think deep down he’s just trying to displace his resentment for you choosing a career that you want and love instead of being financially stable now but in a displeasing career. He seems pretty intent on money. Is your career you’re going to school for now for financial benefit or for what you find truly your vocation in life? Idk OP this dude seems kind of too posh and flighty.
He doesn't have his PhD so…
Probably came across your page and asked herself why she still has you?My therapist tells me the heathiest way to move forward is to disconnect from social media given that people have the power to do all sorts of things… I would remove you as well for no rhyme or reason other than it doesnt matter anymore.
The fact that she cheated on you shows you even more she did not care too much about you.
If my partner ever came to me and said what you did, I would leave.
Have some free advice on dealing with relationship finances.
Step one – never ever surrender control of your own finances.
Step two – everyone has their own bank account, and a joint account that is used for all joint expenses (can have more than one if you want another one for savings etc)
Step three – a budget needs to be worked out, detailing who pays what (is it 50/50, or proportionally based on income, or does one pay some bills and the other pay the rest etc) and how much out of each paycheck is transferred to the joint account.
Step 4 – decide on what events will trigger an automatic review of the budget (pay rises, increase in rent, getting pregnant etc) and how often it should be reviewed regularly.