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Languages: es,en
Birth Date: 1998-03-26
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorColorful
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
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So he’s okay taking the woman’s “chasity” and not marrying them/leaving them? That’s a huge double standard and he is a waking red flag. You are too young to tie yourself down to this dickhead. Go have fun!
Just remember that we are all human and to listen and communicate
As one woman to another… STOP SPENDING MONEY ON HIM! If he's willing to accept and use the very expensive gifts you get him, then he has less problem with it than you realize. The gifts he got you are sending a message that he doesn't think you're worth the time/energy OR money. You can keep doing sweet things for him, just don't spend any $$ doing them. See how he reacts. If he complains tell him you've decided to adopt his frugality because you think it's a good way to live. If he continues to complain, just change the topic or distract him somehow, but don't give it. Give it some time to see if it bugs him that you're no longer doing the stuff/spending $$ for him, or if he is oblivious to it. It is NOT your job to dress and take care of the guy. You're not married, you don't share finances, stop spending your money on him when he's not willing to spend his money on you OR himself.
It's unlikely that this is the only issue you're facing. I'm guessing you feel unappreciated in more ways than just the gifting thing, and it's really just a symptom of a larger disease in your relationship.
Good luck.
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Where's the lie?
Reminds me of a movie I saw at Tiff “Ray and Raymond” ?
That would suggest that now he suddenly has “his” money he doesn't want to share it.
He has agreed to something then reversed uno'd you when he saw that he won't have the spare money to spend.
You need to sit down and work out finances now things have changed. Look at the past and future and maybe explain that with your studies you will be earning xx so he is now investing in your future together.
If on the other hand he resents any money spent on you then you have a bigger issue.
Also people change as they get older and situations change, this is the first time he has had a large enough pay check so he is reacting a bit selfishly towards it.
So work with that, your experience of him is that he will struggle to keep the job, so if he truly wants to keep it all separate then prepare yourself for when he isn't working again, maybe this time you need to think more about your needs, because to be honest he isn't going to think about your needs as he has just shown you.
Just because you did something doesn't mean he is going to, that is false thinking, wanting gratitude is normal, expecting it is entirely another problem. To expect people to act like you do is naive but is a good learning experience to not be taken advantage of.
To me the race thing doesn't factor in until OP gives more context. What race are fiancè and his fam. What is the culture like where they live? I'm assuming they online somewhere darker skin is considered more attractive but we can't be sure.
Her daughter getting surgery at 18, the youngest most places allow, paint one picture for me and that's the competitive mom. Even with the most gorgeous 40+ year old around, young pretty 20 something women get attention too, unless they are putting up barriers that they are taken and with a SO. OP clearly opens herself up to get attention even with her husband there and that probably embarrasses the daughter even more than “i think my mom is prettier than me”. Who wants an attention hogging mom at their wedding?
This IS abuse! Kick him to the curb. I would and I don't have endometriosis (I'm sorry you do. I know watching my sister how awful it can be) but I guarantee you, any guy that just jumps on me and demands sex with no foreplay? Nope. Any guy that tells me to shut up in any situation? Nope. You are worth so much more. You deserve so much more. Leave this abusive, manipulative boy child.
Navigate around it by recognizing who he is now and assume he will not change. Accept it or change your expectations. He is who he is, whether that's rude comments on your body, ignoring you, diminishing your experience and going on last minute guy's trips. Nobody is perfect but it sounds like a bad fit of two people as a couple. Understand attraction and honeymoon stage can lead to false hopes based on each other's best behavior. He's already “hurt you deeply” and unfortunately it can get way worse
Kids are all grown, it's your time now. They won't ever learn to be capable if you baby them too long.
What kind of job do you have where you can spend months with him at a time? Is moving closer or with him a viable solution?
If his schedule isn't as flexible as yours, it makes sense that he wont' be able to visit you as often. When you have limited vacation time to spread throughout a whole year, you need to be selective when you can use it. I have a salary job and have two weeks plus national holidays for the whole year.
He's the problem, not you.
I mean he labeled as cheating himself when he told me about it. He knows it’s wrong or he wouldn’t have hid it from me.
Ah yes, You are one of those. A hypocrite
An ex is an ex, so don't worry about it. Do like she did move on.
Wow… That's an even worse response than I expected. That's a way to get you to be happy by continuously giving away so much of yourself that you have nothing left.
Trust me when I tell you it doesn't matter if you're an old soul. This man does not want to marry you and even if he does, he's going to make a terrible husband. It doesn't even sound like he likes you very much aside from what you can do for him.
The good news is that if you break up with him now, you have plenty of time for therapy and getting in a good place and learning from other people more about how he's taking advantage of you and how much better you deserve.
Don't waste another second of your life with this person.
Did she try to change his mind?