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Victoria, 26 y.o.
Location: Novosibirsk Oblast, Russia
Room subject: ANAL SHOW AND CUM IN MY MOUTH [2945 tokens remaining]
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You don't need a disclaimer. There are all sorts in every subgroup.
But you need to break up with your boyfriend and like someone else mentioned tell your mom everything. What your dad and boyfriend did to you was just beyond horrendous.
At no point did your boyfriend ask what this persons name is?
I think playing games is silly.
Let her be. She is just jealous coz you are younger and happy and pregnant. It will take her sometime to register her feelings. Once she does she will regret not inviting her brother to her wedding. Just focus on yourself and your baby since its not your fault.
Long distance is very hot. Sometimes the good times together just make it harder.
This is the shit I needed to hear. I wanna be a good guy. I’ll cut her off and remind myself why I’ve been with my girl for 5 years. Thanks.
If he will leave her so easily for you, why do you think he will remain faithful to you?
You're overthinking it. From what you have said, he never made any sexual advances to you, nor did he attempt to put any particular emotional pressure on you. Sometimes people just like each other, irrespective of age – I like my accountant, even though he's ancient, and I think of him as a good friend despite the age gap. It absolutely isn't wrong to be friends with people who are different ages, so long as there's no inappropriate behaviour, and that doesn't seem to be the case here.
Years ago, my father was a confidante to a neighbour's daughter. She was 11 or 12 or 13, and he was well into his 40s. They just got on well together – she was interested in gardening and so was he – and as time went by he became something of a father figure to her – her favorite “uncle”. He was a guest of honour at her wedding, at the top table with her close family and friends. Not every adult male is full of inappropriate interests in teenagers. Although it's not fashionable to say it, most adults are generally well-disposed to people of all ages, and inappropriate thoughts and actions are much rarer than the news headlines (or Redditors) would have you believe.
BTW, as for your crush, he probably knew, but was smart enough not to say anything. Part of my job is teaching, and girls having crushes on me comes with the territory. Like most teachers, I ignore it. The same is true, I'm sure, for most other people: most people don't want to take advantage of teenage girls, so we just don't.
She never showers at my place, but she is (when texting me) saying she's going for a shower, she'll be texting me back 5 minutes later.
Honestly ? He got another fwb most likely. If that don’t work out he might hit you up . It’s just sex so , he didn’t want to burn bridges
PSA FOR ANYONE LISTENING. If you say no to someone and they counter your no with a lesser request they are testing to see if they can at least get you to agree to something in the first place. Over time their requests increase in demand and you end up trapped saying yes to thing you don't want to do because they constantly test your boundaries. It's the oldes, most simple form of manipulation in the book. If you say no and they try to counter, just say no. Keep saying no.
He’s cheating.
While I can understand people bonding over grief, and relationship stemming from that, to suggest a threesome with your brothers new widow is frankly disgusting.
Then spending time with her alone, when everyone else thought he was somewhere else….
I’d be telling your in-laws that you will be filing for divorce as you suspect they are having sex. Tell them about his threesome suggestion, and how disgusted you were. And that his suspicious behaviour and using everyone else to cover where he was while spending time alone with her is unacceptable and the final straw.
And yes do this while you are still on holiday. Force them out of hiding.
If they are not doing anything, they shouldn’t be hiding, and if they’re not, then your SIL needs to be aware of what your husbands intentions are.
Glad someone else picked up on the very obvious attempt at manipulation, I'm guessing she stopped crying when he didn't seem to care
Great advice.
I would talk to them. Tell them honestly what you said here – that you now feel gross and like you forced yourself on someone. While they are welcome to live! their sexuality, I feel it is also important to acknowledge your reality and how you have perceived things – what their lying as done to you. If nothing else, it might make them think twice before doing it again in the future.
My experience has been (mind you – this is personal only), that some asexual people really hate that most people will hear ‘asexual’ and walk away. Very few people who are allosexual are willing to give up on regular sex, even if their emotional needs are being met. That results in anger and ultimately lying, then faking it and hoping sex will ‘dry up’ by itself. It is also worth mentioning that not all asexual people are repulsed by sex. Some are happy to engage in it, as their partner’s happiness gives them a lot too. Some are indifferent and well, some are actively disgusted. I am not saying that that is what happened here – they might have only just come to the realisation for all we know – but it honestly doesn’t sound like it from your description.
Personally, I would really struggle to rekindle the relationship after this. This is a big lie to hide, if it was indeed hidden. How do you know that nothing else is being hidden? How do you know they aren’t lying, when they tell you something? Also, they have done a lot of damage to your trust and sense of consent, but there doesn’t seem to be much acknowledgement of that.
She has break to consider leaving you for him. She might have sex with him during your break.
Sure take this break, but clarify you are still normally in relationship until one of you decide to break up, you will just spend some time alone to think.
You should take time to think as well. Do you want to be with someone that is unsure if she wasn't better off with someone else. This isn't material to build commited relationship on.
If you still want to stay with her do it only, if she doesn't cheat on you during your break (clarify you remain in relationship for now, to her), and agrees to cut him off, and agrees their relation was inappropriate.
It's funny how the people always bleating on about being 'truthful' and 'factual' seem happy to overlook the reality that tact, empathy, and compassion are all hugely important to healthy communication. The illogical stance would be to pretend we aren't emotional beings or that there aren't times you need to frame things in more particular ways or just outright not say them at all. Like does he call his mom fat at Christmas dinner or is that something he keeps to himself, is he telling his friend their haircut looks shit or does he just reserve those sorts of statements for you.
If he wants to be all 'this is just being literal' then let him deal with the ramifications of that. If he is upset he ends up alone after saying shit like that then strikes me that he isn't very observant about human interactions after all.
Grow up.
Your wife is carrying your children and all you're worried about is her weight?
Women are great actresses. Simple as that really.
Have you considered it’s possible this doesn’t work out and you end up with genital herpes. That can be life changing for dating moving forward. That’s also selfish and negligent on her part. Does she even seem sorry?
Well do you actually like him? That’s an important piece. Or was it just for fun?
Im 40 & force myself to go to sleep by 6a. Lol
Idk about you but I never slept with anyone I consider a brother/sister. I'm not sure how you could go from screwing someone to think of them that way, if that's really the case then that's super weird.
You can't control who she friends with, you can control whether or not you want to be with her if she has these friends. I wouldn't, you can do some research on people with who are friends with exes and their likelyhood to cheat. There is a link afterall. Some people are then gonna say: iF sHe Is ThE tYpE tO cHeAt ShE iS gOnNa Do It aNyWaY” Which is true, but this is what you're dealbreakers are for to put yourself in a relationship that's most likely for success for you, to spot things that might indicate behavior you would want to avoid etc.
I personally don't get being friends with ex's, sure I am cordial with most of mine and can have a catchup if I run into them, but I see no point in being friends with them, because I have other great friends. Some might say “We are just more mature to able to be friends with exes” but that can also be spun around to: “You aren't mature enough to fully move on and cling to the connection despite it likely being unhealthy”
Bottom-line though you have to decide whether this is a dealbreaker for you and act according
Thank you so much for your comment! Both she and I have said we want to work on it, even though she says she's afraid it might be too late. In addition to that, she's having some stress at university right now, and I feel super bad that I'm now causing her more stress by bringing my problems to her now too. I think professional help would actually be a good idea. I will definitely suggest that to her again.
It’s your first love and first big relationship. It always feels like you’ll never have something like that again. I promise you will. How many people older than you ended up with the person they dated at 18?? Probably not many!!
You’ll get over these feelings I swear. But you need time and distance.
WHY are you 500 miles away from your child? Why are you not living with your child? You need to focus on reuniting with your kid before you add romance to the mix. And your child would be best served by getting to know you as a primary caregiver before even meeting any partner of yours, then getting to know that partner for months before living with them.
Please don’t stay
So there's a lot of immaturity going on here. You both lack filters and he's insecure and controlling. Doesn't really sound like either of you are quite ready for the advanced communication and willingness to compromise that are absolutely essential to making a relationship function. Probably time to ask yourselves why you're trying so very hot to force something that's just clearly not good for either one of you.