It is absolutely NOT “wrong” to say no to sex when you do not feel like having sex. Why would you want to have sex with someone who is not into it? She’s not doing anything wrong by only having sex when she’s in the mood to have sex — that’s exactly how it’s supposed to work. You, also, should not have sex when you are not in the mood to have sex.
Your girlfriend is selfish and lazy in bed. You’ve asked her to do things that will improve your experience and she has said no. You decide if you want to stay with someone who is selfish and lazy in bed.
I am not justifying, what I was trying to convey is there seems to be a serious lack of communication. He says sex has never been an integral part of their relationship, but due to their lack of communication she may think otherwise and never discussed it.
I will say if you have issues in a relationship for 1.5 years and then one partner leaves for 5 months. He insists he had it planned and she knew it was coming, doesn’t mean she’s happy about it, and certainly doesn’t help matters. I’m not blaming, if she wasn’t happy she should have ended it instead of cheating. If indeed that is what she did.
Dude she did all this long before she met you. If she had a history of cheating I’d understand why you’re nervous. But if she was single why is it your business? If you’re that judgemental about it dump her and get a therapist.
You can be emotional for yourself and the own betrayal you went through from your best friend while still being sympathetic and sad for your sister.
Don't feel guilty for that. Events like this don't just affect one person; it is obviously going to affect you, your sister, her kids, likely your parents, but all to varying degrees.
I'm sorry you had to find out your friend did not value your friendship this way. If she had valued your friendship, she wouldn't have had a relationship with your married brother-in-law. Whether she was groomed or not, it's not your responsibility now to figure any of that out.
Your boyfriend is going to be jealous and it may not be salvageable. I will attempt to explain why:
To his friend that you had a one nighter with you were, from their male perspective, a one night simple conquest. Consenting fun between adults and all that, but regardless you were… cheaply purchased in their eyes.
Your boyfriend comes along and he is looking for something more serious. He thinks he is shopping in the LTR girlfriend material.
Then, uh oh, he finds out his buddy had you on sale. He is over here paying girlfriend prices when his buddy had that when it was newer and more fresh at a cheaper price.
I mean all guys kind of know there is some promiscuity in their girl’s past, but we just don’t want to be reminded of it.
Basically, his friend is a living reminder that from the perspective of his social circle the woman he has chosen for a girlfriend is not girlfriend material.
I know it’s not right or fair or whatever, but it is how it is
I'm allergic to cats and have two. I also have eczema. I just got used to it. I think a large majority of cat owners are allergic and suck it up, or take medication. OP's gf is just a bad person.
You’re obsessing about what your EX thinks of changing your fb profile when you should be focusing on your mental health and not him at all. He broke up with you. He doesn’t want to be with you and the sooner you accept that and let it go the sooner you can work on yourself.
> So how does your ex know all of this then? How is he tracking who you are dating?
We knew each other from college, i guess talking to a person who knows me? Also, i have social media and even if it's set to private, my profile picture show me with my bf.
> But you need to give him the time to take it all in and stop filling in the blanks about what you think he's doing before he informs you of his feelings (he doesn't even know!)
My bf doesn't want to talk about it, he's gone almost zero contact with that “i need time” excuse. I'm not even sure we are a couple anymore, i'm dreading a text from him telling me it's over.
Oh dude….she wasn't manipulated, but you sure as hell have been.
Good luck to you, I guess.
It is absolutely NOT “wrong” to say no to sex when you do not feel like having sex. Why would you want to have sex with someone who is not into it? She’s not doing anything wrong by only having sex when she’s in the mood to have sex — that’s exactly how it’s supposed to work. You, also, should not have sex when you are not in the mood to have sex.
Your girlfriend is selfish and lazy in bed. You’ve asked her to do things that will improve your experience and she has said no. You decide if you want to stay with someone who is selfish and lazy in bed.
I am not justifying, what I was trying to convey is there seems to be a serious lack of communication. He says sex has never been an integral part of their relationship, but due to their lack of communication she may think otherwise and never discussed it.
I will say if you have issues in a relationship for 1.5 years and then one partner leaves for 5 months. He insists he had it planned and she knew it was coming, doesn’t mean she’s happy about it, and certainly doesn’t help matters. I’m not blaming, if she wasn’t happy she should have ended it instead of cheating. If indeed that is what she did.
Your post history makes this entire thing seem super sus.
Also the fact that you posted this same story three times in the same day is sus.
Something is missing from this and idk what it is, but I don't feel like OP is being entirely truthful here.
Dude she did all this long before she met you. If she had a history of cheating I’d understand why you’re nervous. But if she was single why is it your business? If you’re that judgemental about it dump her and get a therapist.
You can be emotional for yourself and the own betrayal you went through from your best friend while still being sympathetic and sad for your sister.
Don't feel guilty for that. Events like this don't just affect one person; it is obviously going to affect you, your sister, her kids, likely your parents, but all to varying degrees.
I'm sorry you had to find out your friend did not value your friendship this way. If she had valued your friendship, she wouldn't have had a relationship with your married brother-in-law. Whether she was groomed or not, it's not your responsibility now to figure any of that out.
Your boyfriend is going to be jealous and it may not be salvageable. I will attempt to explain why:
To his friend that you had a one nighter with you were, from their male perspective, a one night simple conquest. Consenting fun between adults and all that, but regardless you were… cheaply purchased in their eyes.
Your boyfriend comes along and he is looking for something more serious. He thinks he is shopping in the LTR girlfriend material.
Then, uh oh, he finds out his buddy had you on sale. He is over here paying girlfriend prices when his buddy had that when it was newer and more fresh at a cheaper price.
I mean all guys kind of know there is some promiscuity in their girl’s past, but we just don’t want to be reminded of it.
Basically, his friend is a living reminder that from the perspective of his social circle the woman he has chosen for a girlfriend is not girlfriend material.
I know it’s not right or fair or whatever, but it is how it is
i think i replied right as it got deleted ?
I'm allergic to cats and have two. I also have eczema. I just got used to it. I think a large majority of cat owners are allergic and suck it up, or take medication. OP's gf is just a bad person.
You’re obsessing about what your EX thinks of changing your fb profile when you should be focusing on your mental health and not him at all. He broke up with you. He doesn’t want to be with you and the sooner you accept that and let it go the sooner you can work on yourself.
You put money into an account you have no access to? Stop that right now.
Obviously I don’t want to get involved
Here's another way to see it: you have no skin in the game so nothing to lose by getting involved. Your friend is asking you to do this as a favor.
So you have not much to lose and you're doing a favor for your friend who asked you to do it.
> So how does your ex know all of this then? How is he tracking who you are dating?
We knew each other from college, i guess talking to a person who knows me? Also, i have social media and even if it's set to private, my profile picture show me with my bf.
> But you need to give him the time to take it all in and stop filling in the blanks about what you think he's doing before he informs you of his feelings (he doesn't even know!)
My bf doesn't want to talk about it, he's gone almost zero contact with that “i need time” excuse. I'm not even sure we are a couple anymore, i'm dreading a text from him telling me it's over.
For sure. I wish I could, I don’t have insurance though and can’t afford it right now. :/