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You’ve been dating a few weeks and you moved in already? That’s red flag number one. I don’t know what to tell you about the trains in your head, but it’s a VERY big red flag that she is telling such big lies to you during this “honeymoon phase”. They were sexually involved, she had very deep feelings for him and was living with him. Doesn’t that describe your relationship?
And why did they break up?
There is a serious reason not to trust her, in fact, I would RUN
Thank you for saying this, it’s very kind and encouraging and I appreciate it.
Agreed. It’s okay to not litigate every dispute in the moment. You can say, “That’s interesting I was not aware of that.” And leaving it alone. You could always come back later after doing your due diligence and discuss it politely again.
Personally I am always looking to learn so any time I have a chance to be wrong I relish it, because it means I will learn something new.
WTF is with this new trend of men asking their partners for paternity tests?
Agreed. The higher earning spouse completely cutting off the lower earning spouse in retaliation for leaving is not looked kindly upon by the court in Canada.
A comment further up also implied that she is entitled to more on account of the fact she earns more- depending on certain factors such as how they set up their finances and how long they’ve been married, this may or may not be true.
Talk to a lawyer and ask what steps you can take to ensure your credit Etc. remains protected while not sabotaging your future self. (Also, if you’re truly worried about him, would be pretty cold to lock up his accounts while he’s out of country with no income).
Just out of curiosity, does your parents not work?
You are now
Honestly, I think the person I mistreated in this situation was myself.
Forget about your dad! You need to understand that been late is very unprofessional at all levels. You need to get a habit to be anywhere at least 10 minutes before the time. Then again you only 19, but it would be a good habit to have. Good luck
Your first comment here is important. ‘Men who hit on women’ are not most men. Most of us would never approach a stranger. There is no slight here on most men, but most men who hit on women are a totally different breed.
This kind of thing is depressing for us average guys who try to be good and chivalrous because if we ever did see the woman of our dreams and in a crazy moment consider going to say hello, all she would see is another jerk because guys who hit on women are basically arseholes.
I guess back to the weak little smile and hope they approach you technique that has never ever worked ?
Hey there, just coming back to check in and see if you’re done being a coward and would like to address any of my thoughts on you A) helping your brother get away with raping your girlfriend and B) how you’re a lying, cheating, gaslighting, abusive sonofabitch? Are you too busy being a Beta male to respond directly like a real man? ?? I didn’t forget you’re avoiding the tough answers like a little bitch.
People who do shit like that to other people should be put in stocks in the middle of the town for a week and be pelted with rotten eggs and tomatoes.
I don’t know. I’m super blunt so I’d probably say that I was feeling like I was being gaslit on the topic. I find using the actual word can open up a conversation but it doesn’t work for everyone.
WAY nicer than I would have been. That’s disgusting, disrespectful. humiliating, and a violation. That would warrant me never seeing him again. So sorry you had that experience.
I think he probably feels that no matter what he does any financial contribution he makes to the relationship is just a drop in the bucket and insignificant. Coming from the background he did, I’m assuming that he always aspired to give something his parents never could, and now he won’t be able to do that. That’s by best guess
bro is just mad insecure
Then why should you be? Boundaries work both ways. And you have 8wks left, why can't you go with?
Girl, come on – are you really wondering what to do? Do you really want to be treated so poorly by all these losers for the foreseeable future? I'd rather be alone than excluded like this, it's mean and hurtful. Wishing you all the best
You could miss out if you don’t go. 2 hours isn’t too bad to see each other weekly. If you want to be long distance it can be done in my opinion with 2 hours difference
I do get it’s sad you’re leaving as this means possibly the end of your relationship and that’s understandable. However if you and him are meant to be you will find a way back. Sounds corny but I believe in it. You may date new people but that life experience really grows on you. I feel like college years are the ones you truly find yourself. It’ll be nude being away from family and your bf. Yet you gain that true self reliance once you branch out from home. Could even be some of the best years you’ve ever had coming your way! You won’t lose your bf, if you two love each other you can always remain in contact even if no longer together
Don't waste any more of your time on him. Go live! and have fun. Be free.
She says there's a plan, but it's been drug out for over 5 months. She will get primary custody of the kid. He's a drug addict, alcoholic and has mental issues. I'm willing to step up and be amicable , he just needs to step aside. Thank you for your feedback!
This is correct, it was her not telling OP before having sex that is a trust breaker. She took away his options of making a choice.
Thank you for saying that. I’ve gotten a lot of good advice but I just can’t get behind the suggestion to screw him over after uprooting his entire life. To clarify, he’s not horrible to me, I’m just not in love anymore and it’s incredibly complicated. Your assumptions are pretty close to the truth.
So I have a couple thoughts-
This reminds me a lot of a really toxic relationship I had at 18 with a girl the same age as your girlfriend.
From what you’ve written, I get the sense you’re a pretty nice dude, but rather inelegant in your word choice from time to time (as many men are). You also mentioned you’re an over thinker, and I imagine you definitely love your gf.
It seems like you pick up on micro changes in her behavior or the way she acts, and as you seek closeness/clarity, she…yells at you? That’s not normal or healthy. I definitely understand the difference in communication style (she needs time to process her feelings then have a conversation after, but it seems you want to hash everything out immediately to make the anxiety of two arguing partners go away), but you don’t deserve the verbal attacks and abuse.
Separate from that, might be valuable to look into/Google anxious attachment style and see if any of that resonates with you. If you fear being left by your partner out of the blue after they start acting a little bit different, that might be a good place to start.
But overall, from reading this, it just seems you guys aren’t a good match on some key emotional/relational levels. And ultimately, does this feel exhausting to you? Having to chase someone’s affection, getting them to open up to you about their feelings after 1.5 years, constantly being afraid of the next time they’re gonna yell at you, having thought loops about this all, etc. I just get the sense you deserve better than dealing with this stuff, she sounds exhausting to keep up with the flips in emotion.
I never said I hate it. Anger and hate don’t coexist.
My original post was about ways to get over what I thought was irrational anger for the very few times it happens.
Your wife probably wouldn’t be so annoyed if you two didn’t have your mother as a roommate. God, I can’t even imagine having to do that.
These two are basically in competition for your attention and loyalty. I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong per se but your wife would like it if you just never acknowledged your mother and wife could pretend she doesn’t exist.