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Sounds like you’ve been groomed and now you’re only just waking up ??♂️
Thank you! this is so much better than what I had planned out. I’m not trying to get her back just want to try and find some sort of closure
If you’re going straight to an ultimatum instead of trying for a compromise, your relationship is doomed man. Honestly stuff like this is nearly impossible to solve, because no matter what happens, someone is going to be homesick for their family
These two statements kind of contradict each other. You say that he's going straight to an ultimatum instead of compromise but then say that it's nearly impossible to solve (presumably through compromise).
What would your suggestion be for a compromise here, considering it doesn't sound like they can afford to split residencies between both places?
Thre above book will enable an informed constructive discussion.
Yeah but they met when he was 17
I’m a little confused as to why you’re waiting… you keep saying about waiting for appointments. I have never heard of any hospital that wouldn’t admit a suicidal person for at least 3 days for observation. If a person is a threat to others or themselves someone can have them admitted… and they would then do a full psychiatric evaluation, especially if you filled out an appropriate form of all her symptoms… and if they find that person does need help, they can then keep them longer or refer them to a different inpatient care facility…
That was one way to go.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Your move.
I would send him a message “I'm really not comfortable talking about (wife) behind her back but I can tell you that I ended our friendship because of moral differences. Unfortunately, your suspicions are well founded. I'm sorry and I wish you the best”. (Telling him without telling him.)
Let’s say you lose the weight….congratulations, you look as beautiful as ever….but your bf is still an AH.
Let’s say you don’t lose the weight….you look as beautiful as ever….but your bf is still an AH.
Let’s say you lose the bf….you’re as beautiful as ever….and you stop caring about the AH, move on, and online happily ever after.
Sincere Apologies for coming across as hostile.
I'm genuinely confused, though. Do you find it unreasonable that he masturbates? What would you expect him to do or say with this information when you come to him and say, “I found your silicone toy that you masturbate with. It makes me feel insecure.” What reasonable response would you expect someone to have to that?
Girl, you dodged a missile! Don't engage.
I think it’s extremely possibly he misunderstood something like this. My boyfriend is smart in certain ways, but sometimes he misunderstands things pretty easily. I also think this sounds like the best option even if it did disappear – so he can just go ahead and start rebuilding.
Telling your family what you’re going through isn’t “being woman”? This kid is a piece of work.
Abusive men are seldom intelligent, or else they wouldn’t be like this. It’s like they’re all programmed to behave from the same playbook that it’s actually funny. He’s a joke. Why are you still entertaining this scuz?
i didn't even read your post in its entirety. this is not the dude you want a future with. bounce asap.
Let’s get this straight: So you ignore your wife most of the trip and she points it out to you and you do it again the next day. Then, out of frustration and wanting you to feel something for her, she slaps you and then goes and kisses another guy to make you feel jealous.
Sounds to me like you’re not that into your wife and would rather be with someone else. Physically harming someone is wrong and there is no excuse for it but she literally spilled her guts and told you how she felt and you did the same thing the next day! This sounds like it’s a pattern that you are ignoring and it boiled over into her getting physical with you and another guy.
You both need marriage counseling to figure out if you’re still compatible with each other as she seems to want more of your attention but you seem to not either care or want to give it. I’m sure I’m going to get flamed for this opinion but she acted immaturely out of hurt. This is fixable but you both will have to want to fix it.
If she bleeds do not under any circumstance look disgusted. It's not a big deal. Get a towel. Reassure her everything is fine. Manage her expectations. Don't say everything will be fantastical, but tell her you're both beginners at pleasing each other. Ask her to tell you what feels good and what doesn't, you won't take it personally and you just want her to feel good as well.
Nope. ????
Chalk it up to a great one night stand and keep moving on
Also, I have a friend who will also constantly talk about how financially well he’s supporting his ex-wife too to new women he meets. What he doesn’t say is he does it out of guilt because of how much he screwed around behind her back. So there’s that.
It is though
I cannot financially afford to go away like that or I would do it. I also have never flat out told him “you need to step up more or I'm leaving” for me to judge his reaction on it. He knows I would leave him if I ever caught him cheating or if he got physical with me, however. I just feel bad for possibly trying to make him do more than what's mentally capable.
Your entire comment, and every reply, is totally unhelpful, and completely dismissive of what OPs husband is also going through. Which is not unsurprising really, because you clearly have not properly read the post, or the comments on this thread.
You seem to think that OP has a monopoly on grief here as you are completely dismissing her husband’s experience. He lost a child too. He was the one who had to make that choice. And his wife, who he should be able to lean on for support, has completely frozen him out & rejected him.
No one here has defended his actions and said that what he did was OK. Only that he is grieving too, and he deserves some compassion & understanding for what he has suffered. No one here has dismissed her hurt, or told her to brush it off or that it doesn’t matter.
You have called him unsupportive and abusive, while conveniently ignoring the fact that OP has failed to support him, and has frozen him out & has flat out ignored him for entire days.
Yeah I also got uneasy vibes from OP's description of that interaction.
Okay bro, here is the thing. She knew what ol boy was doin. She isn't dumb and she was testing the waters. She liked the attention. and wanted more of it and keeping her options open. On top of that she lied about the intentions and tried to victimize herself to make you feel bad about it.
She did level 1-4 on the cornball girl excuse list. This is a simple situation. She doesn't respect you and this was to see what she can do and you still accept it. So now you have to be willing to take the L and walk away if she can't respect you or your boundaries. Better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn't respect you.
Honestly I would have went ahead and charged her to the game. That trust is broken and having drinks, swapping numbers and all that with a random guy on the beach is not the play. She is 25 so she isn't that goofy to not know what a 45 year old dude would have any interest of hanging with her.
Yeah fam, keep it moving. Not worth your time.
If she ever allows herself to be provided for by another man, she needs to go.
Hire a cleaner or refuse to clean or clean only half and say the other half will be left for him to clean
My husband and I got a prenup when we got married, because we want to make sure that if something were to happen in the future we BOTH would be protected.
Your boyfriend seems to only be worried about protecting himself, and not about protecting you. Is that really the kind of relationship you want to have?
It’s completely normal to feel like this. You’re emotional because you’re closing a really big chapter in your life. Your son is so lucky to have parents who puts his happiness and well-being above anything else. Children are extremely perceptive and can feel the tension if their parents stay in an unhappy relationship. I think you’re making the right decision by splitting up with your child’s father and you will not regret this decision in the future.
Why would you even think about staying? This guy sounds like scum to me. Leave him, get gone, and stay gone.
Yes, him seeing all these other women – while you are dating – is really that bad. He's a liar, a player, and not to be trusted.
It's possible that his family is very religious but he is more casually/culturally observant.
I'm also queer, and I've had people confide in me about their questioning of their sexuality, but never in such a dramatic way. You've brought it up to him. Let him know that you're there for him. But ultimately you can't force someone out of the closest.
2-3 days a week with you, and he’s going for daily for the “connection”? Does he plan to just be out there banging other people 4-5 nights a week and to be around at home with you on the 2-3 you’re able to have sex? To reach his sex goal, he’s going to be primarily screwing other people, not to mention that there’s the effort it will take for him to be out there meeting people and arranging the hookups, etc. He’s going to have to get a productivity app to organize all this sex with other people. Honestly, he might need your help to arrange all this sex with other people, and since you’re doing school, you’re probably pretty good at scheduling and organization. Maybe while he’s out there banging you can schedule his sex with other people for the rest of the week, which will be good since you can add yourself to the calendar where you’d like to take him to bed.
Well that’s unfair.
Not to encourage whataboutism, but if she wants to be humbled real check, check the date analytics on her phone.
Games>scrolling imo.
My brother is a energy vampire. I love him but he sucks the life out of me.
You should email him the link to this post. Next time he's in a relationship he may learn that he needs to be more supportive rather than being the only needy one.