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The OP might want to get tested for STDs too…
Nope, you are not asking too much. Being in the hospital (especially if this is something that you are not used to) can be very frightening. Having spent a lot of my childhood in hospitals, I can attest to that. Back in the 1980’s they had rigid “visiting hours” which meant I only saw my family for a couple of hours a day. It was incredibly lonely and frightening.
If it had been him in the hospital, you would have stayed there for him if he asked, right?
Right like she would have had to lie because they won't discuss your outstanding balance with anyone else who isn't authorized.
Thank you.
I think boundaries have turned into the it word. People use it in ways to control their partner instead of trying to reach a solution together.
No it's been going on way longer than that.
The very fact that you are even considering this to remain close with your disgusting friend makes you as disgusting. Poor wife, I wish she could read this post and your replies on it and leave your ass.
That was not his first time.
I don't think the problem is what she wants to do, it's who she wants to do it and she chose OP's friends for that
What if she gave you erotic pictures of herself? That way she would be who you're thinking about so it's not cheating. It's not a sin either if you're married because you're one flesh.
Men that hate the idea of living with their girlfriend = not marriage material
You should definitely tell your sister. Just so you have someone in your corner in case it goes to shit.
Surgery is a medical tool that you have used to achieve greater health, nothing wrong with that honey. ❤️
You used the car for personal use when you popped the tire. You did the right thing and it probably salvaged the friendship. Remember that your other friends think you should blame the other person when you screw up don’t lend them your stuff
I’ve screenshotted this comment and I’ll be reading it on repeat. Thank you.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My girl and I have been dating for a year and a half now. I’ll get to the point… after work I walked in on my girlfriend smoking crack with a homeless man in my kitchen. Just to be clear, it’s not like they were just smoking a joint. They were using a torch and a ghetto looking crack pipe. Before I walked in I could hear both of them barking very loud at each other like rabid pitbulls… now it makes sense why. And to make things worse I later found out that this homeless man is actually the guy she supposedly “goes on a run” with every morning. Now I am fully aware of what she has actually been doing every morning for at least 6 weeks now. Since she’s been lying about her addiction to crack, I dumped her and haven’t talked to her since. All of her friends think I’m wrong for not talking it out with her first, but I think I’m justified for ending our relationship because she lied about her serious addiction for over a month. Would I be crazy to contact her again?
i don’t know how i would leave if i had to my family has never loved me and will only continue to physically and mentally abuse me if i go home and step in the wrong direction i will end up 6 feet under
So sorry, OP
Especially if someone gives up their career to care for kids.
They've been together for 5 months, why is it on him that she hasn't gone in years?
Mio in club soda is genius
Well yeah but I am too. But You can’t just quit a job with so much debt there’s rent to pay and I don’t want to be his care giver again like last year. He did this last year and I helped pay his rent and bought him groceries and suffered through his mean drunken episodes
I understand what you are saying, but I think you are missing the point of my concern with the topic.
So drunk she passed out when she got off. And depending on your state any level of impairment means its assault if the person feels like reporting it.
If this isn't a creative writing exercise, then please for the love of God grow a backbone.
Okay and?
Sometimes, if you are really lucky, it’s beyond lust at first sight. There’s a knowing. The other person feels instantly familiar and new all at once. It’s the best. Congratulations. Just enjoy and go with the feelings.
She shared once I asked the “what are your fantasies” question, she is not vocal, and would rather not talk about it.
The not initiating is another complex talk that is nude to go through as well…
Ah yes, return a scratch with a broken limb.
He didn't say she is loose normally, he said it feels tighter the other way.
An equal thing would be to say “your dick feels bigger in this position and smaller in that position”
Without calling it actually small.
….and you keep staying with him. Why do you need Internet strangers to tell you this shit is not okay? Do you have ANY self-respect? If not, I'd suggest working on that. This is ridiculous, what will the next reddit post be? 'My boyfriend shat on me, any advice?'
Cheesus crisp on a toast….
why do you choose to not share it in your post?
serious q
When you meet the love of YOUR life, you’ll understand why this guy was never it.
Why waste your time. Sounds like a loser with unresolved issues to me
Oof emotional damage
What downvote for the truth? Oh well, try to help and respond to a post requesting advice. It is unfortunate that young ladies don’t recognize their own beauty until they grow older.
I'd take her out at least a couple more times just to see what other info she drops.
It remains a bit to be seen if she'd be willing to be out in public with my eye looking like it does, but it seems like she definitely would never post a picture of the two of us together on SM as long as I've got my black eye.
Thankyou for this comment. It truly made a difference. I loved him so much and I tried my best to help him through his issues, I’m sure I’m not perfect either but it was getting more and more difficult to stick by him.
That’s a big 10-4
The fact he felt the need to “confess” it shows he knew it was wrong to some degree.
What kind of workplace has nights out at strip clubs? That is sOOO unproffessional, what do the female staff make of these nights?
You need to figure out the whole set up imo. Is he feeling obligated to go along to keep in with his team or his boss or a single person who has influence? Or has he just activly chosen douchbag friends and wants to go there?
I'd be questioning my marriage if its the latter and workplace boundries if its thee former.
Why does he go to parties without you?
More information is always better. If she is on an expedited timeline that you cannot agree with, then talk to her about it. You two may be incompatible, but the mere discussion of a timeline should not be out of bounds.
She had a one night stand two years ago so obviously didn't want the guy. One night was enough to be over and done with him.
Has the boyfriend had no one else in his life prior to this relationship.
He sounds too immature to be in a relationship. Especially bringing this up during arguments. Instead of discussing the issue he throws this in, perhaps as a way to distract from the actual discussion. It's a convenient way to avoid discussing the actual issue.
If you only met 3 weeks ago you barely know each other!
These are consequences for past behavior. It happened. Make good choices.
I think the people who can’t fathom such an emotional attachment to an animal are the weird ones. You literally can’t fathom someone keeping a part of someone / something they love? Got anything old from your parents/grandparents that died? You’re weird then lol. Just because it’s an animal doesn’t make it weird. Animals don’t have material items to remember them by. Wanting a part of them with you for the rest of your life literally isn’t weird. It’s weird the logic here jumps to “serial killer” Bunch of drones.
Drama is ok! But I feel like your anxiety is really putting you through the wringer right now, and that sucks.
I don't think you need to necessarily not be in a relationship right now or ever, etc, but I think starting by talking to a professional isn't a bad call, tbh.
Hang in there!
“I tell her that my needs still aren’t being met over a long text message which she ignored” should have been the end of it. All of it. Needs aren't met? BREAK UP.
Humans can be immature. But most humans don’t say so many things that can be used against them like you have.
Good point. Go for your wife, because the other scenarios are only lose-lose.
Definitely cut your hours and spend more time with your son before you are paying child-support for the honor of your son calling another man Dada. Your wife can get a part time job and you can tag-team taking care of the kid(s). Don't let this go any further and if I was anymore paranoid, I would be investing in cameras around the house
If I have a bachelor party it will be a long weekend trip. Nothing funny will happen but it's a guys weekend.
I never see my guy friends bc they are married, have kids, and / or love far away. If we get together it needs to be more than just a night since it's every several years and aside me, we are out of weddings to get together.
My best friends bachelor party was at a Lake Front house 5 hours from home. Around 12 guys for a full weekend away from anyone. But gasp, no strippers or hookers.
Please fill in the blanks, OP:
________ speak louder than _________.
You're absolutely welcome to disagree with me, and your point about there being other explanations is well taken.
That's why I casually said “bpd vibes.” Is listing 2-3 symptoms of BPD really promoting a stigma? It's obviously not a formal diagnosis, nor is it an accusation. I'm just taking part in the discussion.
What do you mean?
I have a bad feeling for you. Can you take your baby and get to your family asap before he tries to take him/her from you? You need to do it before a court ordered custody is in place. I think he’s cheating on you and am very worried for you
If he felt he had to put these things into a hidden folder you've definitely got some relationship problems. So if this relationship is serious, i.e. living together with plans to marry, try some couples counseling. You'll probably need to ease up a bit and he'll probably have to be more open with his interests.
You don’t know that your way was safe because as you said, the weather and road conditions can change very quickly when you’re at altitude.
I’m not sure why any of them insisted on taking a different route if you’re from the area and knew where you were going. Seems like there must be more to the story.
But at the end of the day, I don’t see how this is a trust issue.
Dude, been where you are. Self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you aren't enough for her, you won't be. This is a you thing, not even a little bit of a her thing. That dude was basically a sex toy to her, and you get all the stuff that matters, by her choice. This is you demeaning her and letting your stupid lizard brain part of yourself think sexual stuff is more important than everything else she is. Get your head on straight and believe her. That voice inside your head is there to hurt you and make you feel bad. She chooses you, right now. If that isn't enough, let her go and don't drag her down with your insecurities. Wishing you both the best.
I’d suggest being very forward, especially when your daughter is being affected. Approach the gossiping parent and bluntly state that they are causing your daughter unnecessary harm, that while it isn’t their business you are actually younger than your wife and you are both adults. Ask them to please do damage control for your daughter’s sake and then walk away. This is heartbreaking and I’m sad for you and your family.
Has anyone else who's gotten it in teh US had their insurance actually pay for it? I was floored when I got a bill for $350 for one dose, and still had to go back for two more. I haven't finished my series in large part because it was so fucking expensive.
Shit I've never looked at or liked shows up on my discover page. I don't think that's going to go very far.
I’m hoping he is my Mr Right tho haha ?
Everyone is giving good advice good luck. Also notify the HR department of her job that she and a cowor are dating. Torpedo her career
It was 20 minutes later, not nearly enough time to say he is going to block her. He was probably in the middle of something or with his fiance at the time.
You seem to just want to argue about anything so I’m done with you. Go on back to your superficial life and enjoy it while you can
No, my bf asked me to have sex with a stranger while we were in a relationship. And that's the guy I hit up for sex after the break-up because I knew him already
I wonder how far I'll have to scroll before the first Friends reference
You don't need someone who will lie to you while fighting those tumors. You also don't need a leech of resources, physically and emotionally, while dealing with them either. If she wants to explore, she can go explore elsewhere. You don't need to compete with her on this.
End the relationship, or at least take space until these big life changes have resolved, then re-evaluate when you're not as stressed.
Life is too short to be unhappy in your love life. If other people want to give their opinions, let them know they're welcome to take her in.
Well he hasn’t been one in the past. He’s not like other people I know that cheat on every person they’ve been in a relationship with.
This is more well-written than most posts on this sub. NTA your house your rules.
I am begging you to notify those women of what he did. If any of them are still his current friends “Some are his female friends I didn’t know he had sexual relationships with” they need to know to drop this guy immediately. If you found out one of your friends still had intimate photos of you save to the computer that they still look at, wouldn’t you want to know?
He began loosing interest because you guys weren't having sex after being close for 2 weeks and things not going anywhere, and then you stormed into his work place and made a scene
That is what you did the wrong and he is right, he does not owe you an explanation.
I think your feelings are valid and she might be telling the truth as far as her never doing it again. The issue at hand might be much bigger then you’re even aware of. If she grew up with the lack of boundaries with that being one example…it is very possible there are allot more you are yet to learn that will be a no no in your mind when it comes to ethics and morales. So if you plan on forgiving and moving past this. Then my advice for you is to proceed with caution ⚠️
Not really, in her case is not even blood related.
So let's replace “relative” for “friend”. Lets imagine you are sleeping nude with your female friend, which also happens to be your ex but you consider her “family”. Now, is that a big deal to your girlfriend?
Breaking up with someone who has admitted to wanting rape you is bad advice? Are you a rapist yourself or some shit? Go fuck yourself.
It’s not just that, but while it’s normal and healthy for him to call his mom or send her flowers, the day is supposed to be about YOU. The mother of his child, and his partner. He sounds like a stone around your neck, wouldn’t life be so much easier if you didn’t have to take care of a grown man who doesn’t even like you? It’s really awful that your son has apparently picked up on this mentality too. I’d say you need to tell your son that you’re going to dinner and you need to have a serious conversation with him alone about how he treats the people in his life, the fact that the way his father treats you is unacceptable, and that you’re no longer tolerating it from either of them.
he said he doesnt
i see where youre coming from, and generally agree that porn can be harmful to some who struggle with addition or impulse control. hes never like pushed me to do weird things or expected me to be a certain way. i feel like theres a way to have the conversation about addiction or porn being potentially harmful, its just nude to have that conversation and not feel like youre shitting on the industry or your partner for engaging with it. its something i think ill have to bring up though, at least find a middle ground between whats okay vs what i am uncomfortable with.
part of it i think is i also have 0 desire to watch porn (or even masturbate) since weve been living together but my libido has also taken a nose dive and he almost never says no to me if i want to have sex. it's definitely a different situation for him.
You have some magical thinking going on. This wasn’t a healthy relationship. You made the right decision. You are lonely. This will pass. Don’t go back especially if you are hoping that she’s going to completely change anytime soon. You made the right decision.
Why would you even want to be with a man who does not respect your right to your body?
I understand the preference for natural boobs, but 1) he didn't even know they weren't, and 2) his reaction is so disrespectful. He never should have made you feel bad, given you a strong reaction, or tell you they're unattractive. If it's a dealbreaker for him, that's ridiculous but fine. But to stay with you and treat you badly is not fine.
Good luck! I hope things work out well for the two of you.
I’m curious why you initiated a get together with his ex and her family?
Perhaps she can change to a different birth control?
I don’t know about birth control, but if there are different medications that work or act differently to achieve the same result, perhaps switching to one of those may help.
Nope. She’s a petty nasty woman. A home wrecker and a spiteful immature ahole. You were a teen with good reason to be update. Though your actions were mean, they were justified to some extent. You have an affair with a married person, don’t expect acceptance to the family. She’s poison. Keep your distance.
Btw a question (just curious): What kind of hobby is „animals“??
Idk about the series you‘re talking about but women like OP‘s girlfriend and Carrie are literally poison (I say this as a woman myself). And what you described is the exact same situation.
Why is she even with OP if she keeps seeing another dude she cheated with? They belong together, shitty people should date shitty people so we‘re all save?
You and your boyfriend both need to work on becoming more assertive. Look into activities you can practice together. Something you could try is rehearsing a response for specific situations. When she publicly belittles you, question what she is saying. “what do you mean by that?” “what is that supposed to mean?” make her uncomfortable back.
Your boyfriend needs to start removing her hand when she puts it on him. Set boundaries.
I can see how on the surface it can look that why, but I gave the same energy back to him. Is it love bombing if you are both giving eachother a lot of attention and affection ? But he has had some very serious things happen in his life, so that’s why I haven’t given up hope.
Leave, she doesn't respect you When you voiced your concerns about how close she still was to your ex she called you shitty, she routinely ignores you, she by her own admission is still in contact with him, and the cherry on top when you told her point blank she needs to stop talking to him or you'll leave she told you she will and doesn't care.
She sees you as a doormat, and either she thinks you won't actually do anything or she legitimately is unconcerned with your relationship. The only thing you're doing wrong right now is staying with someone who has no respect for you. My guess is that you have self esteem issues and low self respect, the kinds of narcissistic women you've attracted probably picked up on that and I'm spitballing that this relationship hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows before this point. But in those moments I'm guessing that, like now, you looked to blame yourself rather than seeing her shitty behavior for what it is. Introspection is important but it needs to be of a sound mind that factors your needs.
if you want better quality relationships you need to respect yourself and not put up with behavior like this. Leave her and work on yourself for a bit. You deserve better than this dude.
You marriage had silent issues if your wife’s using this as an out. Any sane rational person wouldn’t hold this against their partner. Something sounds fishy. Prevent her from leaving with your children – it is one of the first things you need to make sure happens and you need a good lawyer for custody bc I don’t see this going as fairy tale perfect as you think
I would break up honestly, this is never gonna change
If you allow her to monkey branch over to you, you are stuck with her. I predict things will go badly if you allow this to happen. Let her get her life together and date someone local. If she's single next year you have a chance
I think you need to speak to her and have clarification because it seems like this woman is backing away because your husband was inappropriate. And I don’t believe the unsent messages he couldn’t figure out what to say to recover and then unsent them yeah it’s fishy I would be very suspect of his behavior. Go to her talk to her and clear this up ask her to please tell you the truth that you want to know if your husbands being a little bit shady.
Yeah, my spider senses would be up.
Its not really unfounded. Otherwise op wouldnt go into detail how much he hates this guy. Not really pertinent information relating to if shes cheating or not
Lol it’s just crazy to me because they literally type out every reason why it’s exactly what they think! I’m sure you even proofread it and yet and still they are still supposedly clueless. I am doneeeee!
This is nude cause I’m a lot a light sleeper. I do sleep with a sound machine. Sometimes it takes time getting used to someone. What about edibles?
His son and I are confident he has not considered it because his ex has two other sons who are both on the spectrum as well. But it may just be she has a type, rather than carrying the gene herself. She actually expressed to my step son a while ago on one of his visits home that she had internally speculated if my partner had autism but never actually brought it up to him.
The studies listed are all done as self reporting from a starting pool of men with ED, and one about a group of adult men who tried to fix ED with adult circumcision.
None of this says what you purported to be researched fact.
Also there are extenders. They are super fun. Even if he is like 6-7 he can still wear one.
Suggest it! He will love it.
I really enjoyed trying one. Super fun and it feels like I got that giant porn dick.
It literally is very similar.
So I’m 31 and just started dating someone who is 23. Even with that age gap I have reservations about it. If you’re looking for a long term/life partner you should move on. Half your age plus 7
He doesn't like doing it so you should stop asking. If you don't want a relationship without oral then break up and find someone compatible.
He sounds awful. You're 19, there are such healthier and better guys you could be giving all that love to.
His concerns are totally valid.
Have you gone to therapy to address your trauma?
Whether you have kids or not, if your career is important to you, keep it. Stick to your guns here, your husband is wrong to say that you can't be a parent with a career, any more than HE can't. He has an image of the “perfect family” in his head which, for very valid reasons, he wants to create for his kids but if you accept a more than 50% drop in income and you are forced to give up a career that you enjoy, you'll both be under a lot of pressure and you will be unhappy. That will be a long way from perfect. Much closer is a happy mum as well as a happy dad, coupled with financial security. Hopefully you can explain this to him.
Dude is 30? WTF? Way too old to be this dumb.
Dude is 30? WTF? Way too old to be this dumb.
Dude is 30? WTF? Way too old to be this dumb.
I'll bet he thinks she's simple and clueless because she pretends not to notice his creepy obsession with her while she keeps her friends close so he doesn't approach her. She sounds pretty smart to me. In his comments history he tells a guy that if someone avoids him he should avoid her, he clearly doesn't want to take his own advice.
I have a friend like this. If you feel you've truly tried everything, don't feel bad for leaving. I've stopped trying to help my friend. He complains about fixable problem and I've tried listening and giving solutions. But he just wants to complain and not change anything about his situation. It's tiring. It's okay to reach the end of your rope. And it's okay to leave.
Dump him Pronto. This is a HUGE RED FLAG ?
There seems to be a misunderstanding here. I do not want to have sex with anyone in “real life”, just in my imagination.
I can understand her position now, but at the moment I assumed that she also had those types of fantasies and she would be fine with me having them, since it would be hypocritical to not accept mine if she has her own. I just wanted to share them between us.
If she told me that was her sexual fantasy, honestly, I would be fine with it. There are many other aspects to a relationship other than penis size and I feel very confident about my penis and myself in general. I would also suggest using big dildos if she felt like “living” that fantasy.