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My wife does the same thing. Well not on Instagram, but other sites. When she started doing adult content creation, I'd do the same thing. I would text her and if I went a while without hearing anything I wound check her activity elsewhere during that time. It made me jealous, not worrying about her cheating, but me feeling disrespected.
We spoke about it, and then I realized it's nothing. I'll still check stuff on occasion but only if I haven't heard in a while and am worried something could have happened, so just creating a time-line.
You say I can't compare my situation to theirs, but theirs is so much worse. Saying it's not comparable strengthens my point.
I'm not saying OP needs to continue helping them. She shouldn't. I'm just saying there are larger cultural issues at play that Westerners with their bootstrap ideology aren't going to understand. In her culture, family doesn't need to thank family. It's just what you do when you're part of a community. And it's reasonable for anyone to be resentful of those who have better lives through little effort of their own. OP was 19 and lucky when she came to Canada. She didn't get there on her own merit. It's understandable that her family resents that she got what they didn't, she didn't have to do through what they did. It's unfair, and it's normal to be resentful when confronted with unfairness.