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You are a stereotype. You think you seduced him? Ha. He was 22 chatting to a 15 year old, he knew what he was leading you to while you were (and still are)too naive to see it. While your age gap per se is not huge, the fact that he groomed a minor is creepy, icky and makes him a walking red flag. Don't fall for that, he will ruin the years you give him.
So because we’ve been such close friends for so long, we have a bunch of common friends. So if I decline too much it becomes a fight. I know it would be healthier but I really want to give him a chance to grow up (?) I guess
Honestly it sounds like even your kids would be against it.. Not like that should be the sole deciding factor here. Talking with them about it first seems most fair to them, but at the same time might put more burden on them than you should be.
These are the kind of men to watch out for. Literally every parents nightmare. What a asshat. You don’t want to marry her but have no problem living with her and playing house. You should be ashamed of yourself
Just ask him what his intentions are, and if they don't line up with yours, then move on. It seems clear that you are also in it for a purpose as well. State that
You didn't overreact.
There are two big issues here: (1) your partner cannot control his drinking, and (2) he is driving while intoxicated.
It may be that your partner feels he has to keep up with his co-workers when it comes to alcohol consumption. It might be an idea to ask him if he feels uncomfortable saying no, or leaving earlier than everyone else. Socialization is an important part of building work relationships, but drinking to excess can seriously damage your partner's reputation with the people who have influence over his career.
What is he like when he has a few beers at home? Can he stop after a few or does he drink to excess? Are you seeing any signs that concern you?
I think you should lay down the law about drinking and driving as well. You have a child on the way, and your partner wants you to be a stay at home mom. Your partner is lucky that he hasn't been pulled over, or worse, been in a serious accident. A DUI charge is expensive – attorney fees, court fees, fines, mandated drivers' education classes, and possible jail time if the offense is more serious. And if he's in an accident, there will be lawsuits and expenses related to that, as well as a possible suspension of his license. And what if he seriously inures or kills an innocent person? Or himself?
Your partner needs to take a good look at his behavior here. He wants you to be a stay at home mom, so he needs to do his best to insure the safety and well-being of his family.
I would do a face to face confrontation with this toxic individual in the presence of your gf and tell her straight out that if she causes you any more anguish you will take the necessary steps to put her in her place. Lawsuits are a good start. Make sure you record the meeting for your protection
Almost like police can't take critique cause they know their profession is systemically fucked up and evil and that they are active perpetrators of said fucked up evil
Take away the car privileges
There is no coming back from this. It is NOT SAFE to go to that house. You get yourself to the police and file a report! You then go to the doctor's or clinic and get treated he bit your face. Was his mouth even clean? What kind of bacteria is floating in there? If left untreated it could scar. It very telling that he attacked your face it's like he just skipped the tearing down your self esteem about your looks and jumped straight into disfigurement.
Get your money out of the joint account and open one for you at a completely different bank. You couch surf as much as you can. Perhaps you can contact work and let them know what's happened. They may be able to give you time off. If so use that time to look for a new place and start detangling your life with his.
This is not someone you can build a life with. Do not go back to someone who attempted to disfigure you over an argument that YOU didn't want to have. He wanted to fight and he kept you there to make you fight. He was mad that you were hurt after he said something hurtful. There's no reasoning with him.
Please take care of yourself.
Seriously.
Ah man, you fucked around and found out. However, from the sound of it the bar is pretty low so you can always top it! Maybe send her some sexy texts throughout the day, get some hotness building up, take her out for a nice dinner or some drinks and flirt with her. By the time you guys get home you’ll be desperate for each other and throw her down on the kitchen counter or something lol.
You have to have a very honest conversation. A lot of marriages are saved by sleeping in different rooms. It’s not going to change until she gets the surgery, if then. If she’s truly unaware then tell her you’ll record it so she can hear for herself. Anyone considering marriage should be mature enough to have this conversation. You can’t go through life sleep deprived. You truly can’t. Start with I love you and envision a life together. Because I see us creating a lasting union, we need to talk about something I know you find uncomfortable. Good luck.
It’s crazy that people are blaming OP when he’s very much stating that he knows what the consequences of his choice was. Matter of fact he DIDNT EVEN MAKE A CHOICE. This comment section is so filled with emotionally charged people that they are seriously suggesting this guy cut his dad out of his life just because his mom asked him too. Unless he was trying to bring his dad to his moms house or talk about him all the time his mom could’ve very well still be with her son. She made it all about herself and is using her connection to him to try and make him cut out is own father. This is extremely manipulative and just because she got cheated on it does not justify ultimatums like this whatsoever
You walk away from this girl. She doesn't really accept you for you. She will also never stand up for you against others. She'll probably join right it with them when they treat you badly
This is the worst bot generated post I've ever seen.
You break up because you can't apologize later down the line when you're finally “ready” she's maybe 35 and can't have kids anymore because she was waiting on you.
You’ve known him for 8 mo. How long have you known the informant???? Drama!!! Is it exciting??? Cut him some slack. Trust him. Not her.
You didn't make a mistake. You were in an unsafe situation and had to go into another unsafe situation. You were lucky bystanders helped you.
However- your BF is very unreasonable.
but now he's saying that he's having a nude time trusting me going out anytime past the evening.
For saying that alone, he has become “dump him” levels of awful.
He does not control if you leave the house after a curfew he sets.
He's the issue.
Jeezus! Where is Brock these days?
OP.. have your friend screen shot the Uber she called. You can show that to your BF. And yes, this was a mistake.
Your boyfriend is 31 ans has zero independence. This isn't going to change.
Have you talked to his friends? Does anyone have news about him?
UpdateMe!
You're a dry drunk. You abuse your gf and have a “me, me, me” mentality. Leave her alone, go to therapy and do the damn work on yourself. You have destroyed that woman and I hope she can repair herself.
thanks for the advice. yes i think it was more of a mistake but when i searched similar situations on reddit the responses were so negative it scared me. i'm relieved that everything is fine. i am not pregnant btw and we did buy plan b
>>That because of this feels like he can’t say things to me because I end up crying bc then he has to comfort me and it is emotionally draining.
One thing that you can explicitly work out with him is that, even if you are crying, he doesn't have to comfort you in the moment. You can cry, and you both can continue the conversation about his issue. Because yes, a person who always cries can come across as emotionally manipulative and derailing in a conversation about difficult subjects. I don't think that crying at evreything is part of yourself that you should accept at face value? Because are you going to cry in a work meeting if you get somewhat difficult feedback. Or in any other context that isn't relational. If you're with your boss and you see something that moves you, will you cry? If you're talking to a loan officer at a bank and you are overhwlemed at the thought of getting a mortage, will you cry?
Oh, honey. You deserve better, get out of there. This dude is a lying manipulative creep with no intent on changing.
That is a Horrible thing to suggest to him. Wow.
I'd say rehome the boyfriend, but apparently, he's not important enough to even live in your house… In any case, I'd say bye Felicia & keep that dog, they're family now.
I can’t imagine any reason for him to say this other than to hurt your feelings and make you feel that you’re not special or desirable.
Have an honest talk with him. Tell him what's bothering you and establish boundaries(and respect them). If it bothering you that much you shouldn't put up with it.
Oh you poor gullible fool. All he did was manipulate you
Lol, stop lying! We can see your comment history XD
Lol and thinking about it now if you had a kid or two with someone you broke up with !!
Tell him he needs to hire a worker to help him in the truck and stop working for him. This is clearly harming your relationship. If his business is growing and taking a big step, this seems like the perfect moment to hire someone to work for him.
Leave him and find someone better
cause he was 100% confident he would recieve it by then.
based on what? just a gut feeling?
if he had spoken to someone and received reassurances, that's one thing… but if instead his confidence was based on assumption, well… thats pretty stupid.
my only experience with passports (in more than one country) has been it probably won't be ready when you think it is. don't plan trips around when a passport should be done because all it takes is for one bureaucrat to take a sick day and now your trip is 100% fucked.
You don't tell someone who's happy that there's people out there who's happier, therefore their happiness isn't valid. Your partner should be someone you can vent to, not someone who puts you down.
There are too many groups out there that help dv victims for her to be acting like this. I can say that from first hand experience
We are and I’m hurting ??
The latter was what I thought of.
please board your cats and get out of there.
*when he is not venting about mommy
It's good that you have a relationship role model.
One thing to keep in mind is that males mature later in life, and emotionally, sometimes never. But the key to a good relationship, and you touched on it, is good communication. While your boyfriend might only talk about superficial stuff, as far as he's concerned, there's no problem/issue/or anything to be concerned about. Because you haven't spoken with him about it.
The point I'm trying to make is if you don't have a conversation with your boyfriend about what you'd like to see in your relationship. It will NEVER happen.
So make time to have a conversation with your boyfriend and let him know you'd appreciate his undivided attention while you're having a conversation. Keep in mind, no man will be able to give you 24/7 undivided attention, but he should be able to during a conversation. As long as it's not hours long everyday
The fact that she didn't acknowledge it says everything you need to know about her. Are there other friends you can hang out with? If yes, go with them and let your friend risk her own safety.