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So you were 37, dated a TWENTY TWO year old, and now you’re mad that her behavior is immature? Holy cow. Please seek out a therapist before dating again. You are not making good choices in partners.
I'd leave it alone. Clearly he isn't comfortable yet acknowledging that he has strong feelings for you, possibly because you haven't expressed whether you feel that strongly yet (and there's nothing wrong with that if you're not feeling it yet), and he's holding back as a result, or maybe loves you at the moment of sex due to the intense sensations he is experiencing, and he's embarrassed that he said it at all. Either way, you don't have anything to gain from pressing him, and are likely to make him defensive and reactive by continuing to ask about it (as you've found). When you're more sure of your feelings, I'd have a conversation a bout how you feel and what you hope for the relationship, but right now, he's not ready to have that convo, so leave it alone.
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Mom has decided to leave us all. I still love you, will never leave you and we will get through this together.
Lots of therapy.
Chick sounds crazy.
I wouldn't even think about testing someone. It's disrespectful and says from the outset you don't trust them. He sounds very immature.
He’s into dudes
You're going to divorce, so stop worrying about how to do it and just do it.
Regarding coexistence after that fact, sure, you can attempt that, but if you're goal is to feel in love and have healthy sex drive with someone, why would you want that? It'll make her able to manipulate you with suicidal threats and jealous actions.
You're going to move on here, so don't take half measures. Move on completely and enjoy your new life.
Open relationships aren't for everyone. You may just want your bf to yourself and that's fine
Thanks for replying! Last week i indeed broke the contact with her and its already the best thing ive ever done. Thanks for all comments, but especially this one?
She wanted to be exclusive but being exclusive does not mean doing everything together.
There is delineation between “my dad was fishing” and “my dad got really upset, kicked him out, and told me to find another boyfriend”. That delineation was the above statement. The boyfriend absolutely said something wrong. Imagine being a surgeon having your field insulted for other peoples botched surgeries.
This doesn’t sound like something that can be compromised on, especially considering the abuse/neglect aspect. Keep in mind your boundaries are what you are comfortable with and what you’re willing to do if they’re crossed. This may end up a dealbreaker for you.
He might have said no because he was at that, not sick, but if you move too much, you will get sick level of drunk
Once a video has been posted. It is out there. What you could do is make another cute video, perhaps with a cupcake, with blue inside. And y'all can cut into it and say it's a boyyyy!!! Post it up. New content trump's old content every time.
I would find a way to casually drop your sexual orientation (or something about a partner) into a conversation. If the gifts dry up, you know he was pursuing you and the problem is solved. If they continue, then either it really is platonic and he's weirdly generous or it's not platonic and he's delusional. In either case I'd recommend trying to dial it back, I'm always uncomfortable accepting gifts if I don't know what the other person expects in return and he's a bit of a mystery here.
In aviation lol. Flight attendant.
Escalation of commitment
Don't ruin your reputation like that. Break up and work on becoming your happiest self for the sake of yourself and your baby. That's the best form of revenge.
It is both their child, no doubt. I'm kinda torn here, i understand both parents to a degree, that situation just sucks.
This is 110% doable in every state in the US. You need to file a petition with the court and then a judge will decide to grant it to you or not. If granted, no obligation to pay child support. There is also no going back. It is insurmountably difficult, if not impossible, to get back parental rights.
Source: I am an attorney
Well you obviously couldn’t do something you just did everything worse. It seems you were only thinking of yourself here and Lily.You wanted to help lily so badly and didn't think about how it could be for your wife? How she would really feel? She was obviously pressured, there is no way that she wasn’t and it’s your fault. You have a really unhealthy relationship with Lily. No one can tell me it's normal that an almost 30-year-old man needs to help an 18-year-old at any cost. even if it means he loses his wife because of it.
Lets say the roles were reversed, how would you feel if your wife did what you did and lily were a man?
What advice are you looking for?
You hear their conversation and you immediately know from that how exactly he feels and how she feels and why they both act the way they do?
Ok. I'm out. Good luck to you!
Sounds like an excuse for something else. She could introduce you as her partner if “Boyfriend” is too cringey for her
Definitely wait until after she's fully recovered from the anesthesia. Don't stress her out right before the surgery, and you won't get a good reaction out of her before the anesthesia wears off.
Being a partner is just that- you both need to be supportive of each other.
Wauw I don't know how to write this without it showing how mad your post makes me.
I hope you free that wonderful woman from your toxic trait and end up with an ungrateful cheating wife and children who will only use you as a moneytank, and unalive you for the inheritance.
Do you seriously believe that she is not suffering from being without children.
You have no heart and nothing good to give to anyone.
Stay weak and leave your wife to have a better life without you and your resentment.
….he’s aware that people can’t just sign a piece of paper that says “I don’t want to be a responsible parent” and call it a day right? parents don’t have the ability to waive parental rights by themselves because those rights don’t belong to them, they belong to their child. your child has a right to be financially supported by BOTH of their parents and judges don’t take that away unless THEY determine it’s in the best interest of the child. 90% of the time when someone is allowed to sign away their rights, it’s because the child is being adopted by a step-parent who takes on the responsibilities being give up by the other person. otherwise, things with the ex have to be pretty fucked up for a judge to terminate their rights. i guess you could just pinky promise him that you won’t pursue him for child support, but you should keep in mind that there are also certain resources and programs that single parents don’t have access to unless they can prove that they’ve done everything in their power to try to get child support out of the other parent. you’re really putting yourself and your baby in a difficult position by letting him off the hook
She isn't commited to you nor does she plan to be. I guess she wants to have a few more yeaes of “fun” before settling down. You are a temporary partner for her. While it might be convenient for her I think it would be better if you didn't lose more of your life waiting until she leaves you and should just break up with her.
You deserve better than that.
She would try to make me the laughing stalk of the group and just tries to embarrass me/put me down. I have told her before and then she would apologize. However, right now she’s claiming I never mentioned this.
Clearly it does bother you lol get over it. It’s in the past. She didn’t tell you because she was afraid of judgement and here you are reacting exactly how she was afraid of
If you were given an excuse you believed can I interest you in a sun villa in Antarctica?
Have some self respect. Why you would not knock and have a conversation implies you are so scared to lose her you will desperately eat up any old nonsense.
You think after almost being caught she has recorded all evidence of wrongdoing neatly for you to peruse?
OP said 5 months in another comment
Good luck. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. It’s up to him to communicate what feels good etc. you can’t read his mind. My gf doesn’t always get me off with head but guess what, I still love it and I still enjoy it. I would never ever put her down for that. It’s up to me to communicate my needs! Please ditch your weirdo bf. There are so many guys out there that will treat you right.
It definitely is
Having said that, I do believe she's leaving details out, possibly because she's afraid of losing me.
If she did admit everything 100% I'd still be with her. It's before me.
The issue I'm facing is that I suspect she's omitting details or slightly lying, and it's that that bothers me.
Maybe tell her that. If she admits she did the $3000 deed would you still be with her?
Don't date crazy people.
I feel like the situation went right over your head (and OPs). She’s clearly not willing to commit 100% until he does, and she’s asking him to show that he’s committed by taking on the burden of pregnancy prevention.
Yes it’s literally coercion. They’ve been separated for two years. Depending your ex get permanently sterilized before you maybe possibly consider “taking things slow” is insidious emotional blackmail.
This is not about their family — it’s about control. He’s already told her no dozens of times. Why are you ignoring these massive red flags? Do you think it’s okay to steamroll over his boundaries? He already said no — multiple times. She has his answer, she just doesn’t like it.
She’s using the possibility of reunification as leverage to convince him into undergoing a permanent medical procedure he’s already said he does not want to do. That’s emotional blackmail. That’s manipulation. It’s not acceptable under any circumstances, and it’s far more alarming that she’s still trying to push the issue after he gave her a clear and firm no.
So if you sent them right now that you are down for Netflix and chill they wouldn't be down for it?
You… get to know each other. You talk, you gauge if there is any chemistry, if you both want, you hold hands, you kiss, have sex. Anything but declaring yourselves officially a couple.
Give it a year.
Yes, respect. If he respects women as people and not sex objects then there's no issue.
Believing that your partner has to treat people like sex objects to be avoided isn't respect. It's the opposite.
If u are going to go and meet Anna do not go alone. Go to a public place, a neutral venue for your safety.
Go with someone who knows the situation with your dad and will be able to remain calm and you can trust to take u away from the location quickly and safely if things gets too much. If she is willing to lie about your dad who knows what else she will lie about.
Does your uni have a law school? You can probably get some pro bono advice
Firstly I want to thank you for taking the time to write such a comprehensive and thoughtful reply. What you have said really makes a lot of sense, she is not the sort of girl who goes out a lot or did before we started seeing each other so I do think she takes a lot of validation from social media attention, but I guess it just makes/made me feel weird that she needs more than I can give her. I will try and bear in mind that is not about personal feelings. I really want to try and work through things with her and will ask she considers my feelings and how it makes me feel in the future. Thank you again.
have sex. With anyone you like. Your world wont change I promis.
She's 40 years old and pulling this shit lmao
Take her advice and dump her
He is a person of poor character. That typically does not improve. Do not give him another chance. Dump his LDR ass where he belongs: far, far away.
Yes
you have tried to make your pettiness and jealousy seem OK (in your own mind) over and over and over again
but everyone is trying to explain to you why you just need to stop and leave these people the fuck alone
You aren’t nude and liked and saving a friend from anything
You’re jealous and it’s so bad that people should be calling you a fucking leprechaun
Friend zone him. Put some distance and do not have any one on one time. Go enjoy life and you will find your guy.
Do you have her number? Text her tonight as she might book her weekend plans. Otherwise, you walk up to her and say “Hey Francine, I have tickets to the hockey game in Friday. I’d love to treat you to a night out. What do you think”
because the system wasn’t right when I put the order in(something was marked wrong, I assumed so my bad for not asking about every single one of my tasks and if other people did their part correct)
So it wasn't even the system. It was another employee.
Any chance he was trying to blame you for his mistake?
Well, I don't think it's fair as soon as she got the break she got with someone else while you were working on yourself to get her back. Have you meet anyone else during that time.
Update: every time I leave this woman or start to hook up with another woman, she acts more right.
It’s been an Othello but she damn sure knows by now that she can act right and shit will be good or she can fuck off and I’ll move on.
Man… women are so damn fickle and there’s so many out there wanting a decent man. My stock value is high in my age group and I own that. This makes a difference.
Don’t be like me before this post. Know your worth and except no less. AND, if you’re a woman? Suck it up and find worth in the man you’re with and stop flirting with the idea of trading up. It’s gross. At best you’ll be a fling. And it isn’t all you. We all, as men, need to learn to navigate your weird ass proclivities to want what you think you can’t have and don’t want what you think you can.
And when we navigate that with an open mind and heart, we love you sharks in a way that opens you up. It’d be a lot easier on ALL of us if you fuckers weren’t so damn fickle. Learn how to be loyal and appreciative of the things you have. For fuck’s sake.
How? Did it go on his “permanent record?”
Sounds like you love her but are afraid commitment. Nothing ventured nothing gained
I think he meant he would mask his OCD instead of turn it off.
As someone who has been living with their husband's disabled brother for years now, I'm telling you, do NOT do this. Do not put yourself in this position. You WILL end up resentful and miserable. And it will not get better. You will spend every second of your life wanting to run away, and will end up thinking lots of things that make you hate yourself.
Uh helllllllloooooo….
You managed to hit every single point that you will find in any webpage labeled signs of a cheating wife
Let's review them all again
Sudden interest in looks. New clothes, gym, makeup, etc
Change in sexual frequency
She is no longer arguing with you about anything
She's mentioning guy coworker very often
She tells you he's just a friend, just a coworker
They go out for drinks, don't invite you,
You've never met him
The only thing you haven't mentioned is phone use.
If you read this post and someone else authored it, you'd already know the answer.
At the very least.. she has emotionally cheated and is getting closer to physically cheating
So change your name too. Hyphenate your name too. Then you can all have the same name, you don’t lose your name, and you’re not demanding your wife just drop her name or have a name entirely different to her kids just because she’s a woman.