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Isn’t the inverse also true though? He explained that he doesn’t want to get married and she stayed.
If she then prioritises a party over a 10 year relationship, it shows how unimportant the relationship is to her.
Tell him he committed a felony and that he is lucky you aren’t pressing charges.
It’s a felony in the US if you open someone’s mail without the permission.
Yep he does this on purpose.
Pushes her away, does shit like call the cops to see how far he can go and still have her come running back.
OP, you said he does this all the time. Stop running back. You deserve someone who doesn’t do this childish, immature crap.
The fact that he's clearly communicated his plans and his feelings and she doesn't give a fuck is a problem. Whatever reason you want to ascribe to that you can. I don't really care.
Wow, well put.
Again, why are you with this fella still? Cut your loses and move on
6 more years dealing with this and you will age 12 years. He can be a great dad without being married.
Here’s another problem: she knows she’s draining up my energy and that she can’t stay codependent on me, and wants to change, but doesn’t know how.
And I’ll be honest, wherever I go, people have been dependent on me in one form or another. Back home in India, I helped with the family business extensively (to the point where my dad had to shut down business after I left), helped my mum with house chores, did 95% of entire household groceries, cooked, cleaned, and a lot more.
This has led me to a point where I don’t really get exhausted from babysitting people, although I feel stressed looking at my girlfriend from what she’s going through.
Leave her alone. You made your choice and the consequence is you lost your daughter and I’m sure everyone sees you as a creep. You can never take back saying that to her and I don’t know how a grown man would ever think that’s okay. I just feel embarrassed because you seem like a child.
And how is he going to leave if she is not communicating it? Just breaks up with her like that??? Okay op do that!!! The woman here said that the girl doesn't deserve discussion!!!
Was your wife ok with your son coming to on-line with you guys? What she’s doing is not ok but I wonder how much say she had in the situation. I can’t imagine many people would be cool with finding out their spouse had a secret child they didn’t know about.
Like many others have suggested, I think therapy is needed for everyone involved.
This was my feeling. I can't see how anyone in their right mind would divorce over this when it was before they were together.
Without being cynical (but I suppose I am being), I'm always a little sceptical when people say they have a perfect (or near perfect) relationship, because I know so many people who have said that who are now divorced. The fact that OPs wife has jumped so quickly and will not even entertain therapy is clearly evidence that it wasn't so perfect.
OP, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please listen to the advice of others and ensure you get legal advice on all of this.
Let’s put it more succinctly he didn’t handle himself. Either way with Heather or SAbine. I can understand why Heather has doubts about the whole thing. However, I reread it and it was very hot the first time to read because it’s so long. This guy should let go of both of them and start his life fresh. He was a jerk, I doubt that Heather is going to be able to trust them very well and they’re dating. They’re not married they don’t have a family there isn’t a mortgage. No reason to really put up with this kind of behavior. That is not to say, you should put up with it if you’re married, but it gives you more of an incentive.
The whole situation is toxic and frankly I wouldn’t trust him either. If I were Heather and SAbine I don’t even know what to say about that. But this guy needs to start his life over fresh and stay single for a while and learn how to date.
Do people even like their partners lol
I disagree with the comments jumping to say she is sleeping with this guy, but I absolutely agree she is having an emotional affair and is uncomfortably, even inappropriately close with him. I don’t blame you for being upset, as I would be too in your position. I would seek couples therapy because right now she is gaslighting you about her behavior and that isn’t cool.