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Consider yourself lucky. That we aren’t friends or know each other. I would been courteous to let you know that I will be sleeping with your ex and crushes.
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OP, I feel for you. This is an all around shit sandwhich that your wife is trying to force you to take a bite of.
If you do even attempt what they want:
Kids learn that it's ok to be spiteful just because they're jealous (pity their future SOs that I'm sure will be posting here someday). It also teaches them that they can be petty and indifferent to the life circumstances of others; as you said, step-sibs' father DIED, how grossly cruel of your wife and her kids to not give a damn about that fact. You show your wife that you accept such gross and petty behaviour from her so she sees you as a doormat to constantly wear down with tantrums to get her way. You piss off bio-dad bc, as you said, he's still here and very much alive and wanting to be part of HIS kids' lives.
The only thing I can think to suggest is therapy, group/family, couples, and individual for all involved. Including couple's therapy bc it sounds like you just discovered a very ugly and unkind side to your wife. I'm not even a mom and I cannot fathom how a mother could be so nasty about two kids that LOST their dad being so butthurt over her EX (that has raised said kids from a VERY young age) adopting them so they have a living, breathing dad. That's just so disgusting of an attitude to me and it shows me where HER kids picked up being do cold and lacking in empathy. Her kids have TWO dads, these kids have ONE and she somehow thinks that it's HER kids that are suffering here?! Talk about entitled and unfeeling.
If you do show her this thread:
Hey OP's wife! Did you catch all that above that I said? YOU are supposed to be setting a GOOD example for your kids and you have BLOWN IT. You are teaching your children how to ne spiteful, petty, jealous, and uncaring. You are showing them really unhealthy relationship dynamics that will follow them into THEIR future relationships. You are teaching them that instead of their jealousy being a problem for them to work out and overcome that they should just throw a fit and cut people off bc they don't like anybody else to get their parent's attention. You're teaching them that love of a parent is somehow a finite resource, as if their dad can't love them AND his step kids which is just absolutely childish, not true, and gross. YOU are doing all of that, not your current husband. HE is trying to show your kids (and sadly you apparently need this lesson too) that we should look at all factors in this situation. BIG part being that these YOUNG kids don't have a bio dad. He's DEAD. Do you or your kids even grasp what that really means? Those kids won't be able to hear their bio dad's voice, feel his hugs, see him cheering them on at school events, he won't be there for their milestones like graduations and weddings. Maybe you and your kids need to stfu for 5min and put yourself in those kids' shoes and realize just how gd LUCKY and BLESSED you are. Get your family into therapy, OP's wife, or watch your children grow into little entitled sociopaths and know that YOU made them into that.
How did they even qualify for the new mortgage based on their current income? Her getting a better paying job doesn't mean anything to the mortgage company. They has to prove via paystubs thet make enough money to afford the house, or they won't fund the loan for a higher amount.
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I truly think the best idea is to talk to B about this, like the first advice says. That will give him an idea that it's not him, but also he can make the choice and you don't have to feel bad either way. Hugs to you
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Your parents are dangerous for continuing to expose their children to a predator who abused you. Their idea of family is cruel, abusive and endangers their underage children. Your brother needs to know who your uncle is for his own safety. But like others have said he may have already been abused by him and has been groomed to think this is ok since your parents think it’s perfectly ok to bring sexual predators into their home. Your parents are truly awful
I’ll take option 2
Okay… I wasn't clear on that – it sounded like he may have. He gets a pass on that. (ish)
Still… Linda? Why didn't she tell you?
And bullets have left guns slower than he left you to fuck someone else… and no one told you? Not him? no Emily? not Linda?
Naked pass and I'd inquire as to what else your “friends” aren't tell you.
After years of this, it feels normal but I try to remind myself that it’s not.
The dog isn’t really house trained because no one lets the dog out during the day. When they do, he goes outside pees or poops and comes right back barking and pounding on the door to come back in.
What other questions do you have?
I can’t give you advice on this. Every couple jokes in their own way and you have to find a way you both agree on. If my husband had done this same thing to me, I would have laughed and joked right back with him and his friend. That’s how we joke around. If your boyfriend makes these kinds of jokes and you don’t find them funny and they hurt you, then sit down and discuss what you see as acceptable joking around. It’s not all one sided so be prepared to hear what he deems acceptable as well, then work on reaching a compromise.
You don’t just jump ship at every bump in the road your relationship hits. You communicate, compromise, and see if you can move past it as a couple. If you can’t do that then you shouldn’t be in ANY relationship to begin with.
And she is absolutely right. Your sister is toxic. You have no respect and you both need therapy.
Everyone gets to choose based on their relationship and situation. However, the trust part should be non-negotiable. Otherwise why bother with a relationship at all?
He’s masking at work, and with most people in his life, it’s instinctive when you grow up undiagnosed neurodivergent. It’s survival.
He trusts you so he doesn’t mask around you – hence you see the big reactions he’s burying around others. He needs a diagnosis and proper support and these issues can really drastically improve. He’s not weak, he can feel sound as senses cross over and become over stimulated.
Go give him a hug and try listening to what the world is like for him.
Oh so sorry you both were sold the impossible romantic ideal. At 16 you were a girl, inexperienced and not fully grown. Same for him.
At this point, you are realizing that your personality has developed and distanced from that of your fiance, and, seriously, it is expected.
Breakup. It might be difficult, because you haven't been your own person through your young adulthood, and therefore you have a lot to learn, but year from now you will be relieved.
OP, listen to the voice of reason right here, I implore you.
Oh my god! Run away quickly! Who the hell would want to live with that?
He's just blaming you because he's insecure.