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Why is she accepting the presents?
Thought that was “dock”. Is he going to have to get a new boat, too? He may have taken other women out in it, and gotten “frisky” off-shore.
How exactly is OP misogynistic?
Agreed, that’s the most obvious opportunity.
It works in the movies…./s
Nope
Huh i didnt know it’d been around that long, altho i also think 10 years ago was 2000 when internet was still becoming a thing, so..lol that time miscalculation was on me my bad
It’s entirely different because she’s not dating him for the free dinners. Sex work is transactional.
A woman accepting her date’s offer to pay for the date isn’t sex work. She’s not there because the date is paid for. That’s so demeaning to women.
She sounds toxic. You shouldn’t have to deal with all that, especially from family. Unfortunately I don’t think she will change. She’s using you for emotional support and as a metaphorical punching bag to make herself feel better. It’s a very difficult decision to make, but you have to do what’s best for you, and if cutting her off will bring you peace and help you reach your potential, it’s probably what must be be done. I’m sure you e already thought long and hard about it, and you’ve already reached a conclusion for what you should do. Trust yourself. Her treatment of you is not right and you deserve better. It won’t be an easy thing to do, both emotionally and practically, and you might second guess yourself which is normal, but you deserve peace and love and emotional support. I hope you find the best path forward for yourself
K
Honestly I would prefer a relationship in which we are on the same page and want the same things sexually
I'm not sure this is a realistic expectation. Things change, and expecting your partner to be 100% in alignment with you on these things forever is highly improbable.
You said “to me, it would be cheating.” I think if you feel this way, you're not okay with it. Unless I'm misunderstanding you. If it's not worth the risk of harm in your eyes, it's not something your relationship has to include.
I didn’t say they weren’t at all.
If you're looking for a sign/permission to leave this marriage, this is it. Go and live your life.
do we know she knew he was in the hospital? he spent months before that being just rude and difficult with her. this isn’t just the 3 months since he left.
They are not fucking. They are talking about you among other things and comparing notes. When you piss her off, she rants there. It’s not for your eyes. That’s why. I have a female friend like that. Everybody needs one.
She's either admitting to you she's a pedophile by projecting her self guilt on you or trying to emotionally manipulate you into feeling a need to “get back into good graces”
Sunken cost fallacy. Just because you out your heart and soul into it along with a lot if effort doesn't mean it's a good idea to keep sinking more in with no return. And remember a relationship is a two player game. No matter what you do you alone cannot make it work. I'd say find someone that is willing to out effort in as well.
Next time you see her run up and say pull my finger, then look deep in her eyes and fart as loud as you can, chicks dig it
Seems like you’ve been waiting for a long time. A replacement. I wonder if women sense a mans deep Longing for someone else and their sexual desire just goes away in fear, to protect themselves from something plain happening in their face. That your husband is living a life with you but isn’t actually all that fulfilled and truly happy but is scared to leave because they “love you” but it’s not the same as this person but it never happened. So you’re going through the motions when really you’re deep interest and desires are with someone else and the wife, we, pick up on it, and it closes our hearts and therefore our sexuality because if we don’t feel deeply loved and liked by our partner we just get deeply sad. Our whole life is ruined because we built a home and family with a man who prefers someone else and you always feel second best and it’s just sitting there. Always. He wants someone else. It’s so heart breaking and now-
You’re proving her right.
Sometimes I wish I was lesbian because loving men is damn hurtful and humiliating??
She specifically said “Don't tell me who is is.” becuase she doesn't want to get hurt. So why are you thinking of telling her you want to fuck someone close to you? Sounds like the exact opposite of what she asked for, dude.
Either block or gray rock him. He’s reaching out for sympathy and hoping to get back together. Act disinterested. Short answers, no emotion. “That sucks.” “Yeah, I remember.” The point with gray rock is not to engage with emotional content.
OP, is this really love? Getting jealous of the dogs.. the pillow.. it will only increase if she doesn't have the willpower to get help with it. It's insane and so unhealthy. This will actually break you down the road, because it won't just be a pillow or how much affection you show a pet. Think about it.
In a relationship/marriage, love isn't everything. Trust, respect, love and support is the pillar of an healthy relationship. A pillow is a non-living object and she got this jealous and upset for you taking a nap cuddling up to a fricking pillow. And before that she had issues with the dogs? For what? It's so bad.
Emotional investment. That is a good point. That is what I am struggling with. He’ll put more effort if I ask him and i know he’ll try. But I’m scared it’ll tire him out and im not sure if asking him to do so is the right thing. People say trying to change your bf/gf is not good. I’m scared I might be doing that to him. It’s really tough cuz i know he loves me but I have to keep asking him for more. For the “standard”
My gynecologist said HPV takes a lot if time to cause cancer. I just don't think she would contract it for the 1st time and get cancer so fast, although it probably is still possible. I got the vaccine, but I got it later in life and I've always just assumed I have it. my gyno says I only need a pap smear every 3 years because it will take a while to become abnormal.
Even after working at a country club for years I'm still blown away by the people who make this kind of money and find a way to shit on people who aren't making the same. Fuck off Kyle. I'm going to tell everyone you went to the Polo discount store.
You're really the only person to make a decision here.
People having different political/religious viewpoints is a part of life. It's up to you to decide whether its a deal breaker.
His faith and politics are deeply personal things. And you don't really have a right to try to force yours on him.
So you want to marry someone who's cheated on you multiple times? You're nineteen. You're not even fully mature. Please do not get married to this turd.
I jusr feel everyone is attacking me and not her
She is crazier than a bag of rats.
Did you realize the mental pain you put on people at the time?
I was careful not to let them know – as far as dating multiple people. There were times though that I knew. I felt bad about hurting their feelings, it didn't stop my behavior though.
It's hard to explain without sounding like a psychopath. It's not a lack of all compassion for what I was doing – more like deciding that doing what I wanted made me feel better. My feelings trumped their feelings.. guess you can call it arrogance.
It took a serous moment for me to snap the fuck out of it. But it's almost intoxicating to be on top of the world, worrying only about #1. If I'm to be completely honest too, it was a way to make myself feel better about my own insecurities.
Reasons 'why' shouldn't matter though in the grand scheme of things. Don't feel sorry for someone being an asshole – they're feeling sorry for themselves enough. You can feel pity for him though, as a part of him will always feel empty. He made his own bed though, he gets to sleep in it.
You are 19! It's time for you to make some amazing memories. You won't even be able to do anything for the summer even if you didn't go. He would be busy all the time and you would have no friends because they are all over having the time of their life. It's only a month. A month he can miss you and you can still talk every day. A month but a lifetime memory you can keep with you forever. It's only a 6 month relationship and if he makes trouble and makes you miserable by guilting you about your trip, cut him loose. He wasn't told he couldn't come too. Anyway, have a great trip. Take lots of photos. Make tons of memories
I should maybe mention that I've been working on myself too. I'm going to therapy and it has been really good for me.
Oh wait, you have flaws too? It's not just the uncaring baboon? I wonder if any of those flaws are bothering your husband (or does that not matter?)
That's why I've asked here – which is also why I value your opinion.
Why do you value strangers' opinions?
The first go to here is counselling, thesecond is attempting to ruin the relationship by telling you who he is deep down (bad) and the third is telling you to get divorced.
1.2.3 – clockwork.
But have you actually tried to talk to him about it?
Do you know what will happen in counselling?
They are not going to sit your husband down and say “stop doing this, you are hurting the woman!”
all you need to do is tell your husband exactly what you told us because that will be the very first thing a therapist requests that you do.,
Real life isn't like reddit, there are two people in a relationship not just a woman and a guy that needs fixing.
for fucks sake is everyone a child in this sub?
I’d rather he have no father then this.
I was led to make this post because frequently I’ve been having the thought, we’d be better if he died, or left us, or cheated.
Sounds like she has religious trauma and deep insecurities from past cheating that show up. She can only go to therapy if she wants to. You can try a couples therapist to express yourself in a neutral environment. Otherwise explain to her that there are major sexual incompatibilities, just like you both seem to have different religious preferences, it seems to extend into the sexual areas too. Thus making it a strong incompatibility, as evidenced by the ongoing arguments and fights on this topic. That you just cant take it anymore, she wont bend, and you also don’t want to. So it just won’t work. Trying to force it is creating resentment on both ends.
Are you kidding??? Run for the hills and keep running. Super incompatible. You've left twice and aren't even married! This is a no brainer….
This is a huge red flag and I think finding a new boyfriend is probably the safest thing for you to do. Because once you capitulate to this demand there will be another!
If “keeping the peace” requires you to betray yourself, I am pretty sure that is not peace and I am pretty sure it is not worth keeping.
Perhaps it is time to try: “I am okay with your disappointment in me” Rachael Mary Stafford
Do you realize you might be straight?
You could try joining the Klatchian Foreign Legion?
Yeah everyone is a self reliant adult but no self reliant adult can read minds. I get it. I’d be at least looking to provide basic details to everyone, too. BUT I know dealing with the type of non planner your guy is usually just results in being mommy – and generally that’s stressed AF mommy – and you’ll be miserable worse than just not planning for everyone. So you pack everything you want and need, you bring plenty of wood or coal and methods to do grilling and cooking like pots, pans, tools, food, clothing changes, if you want the cake then sure, your tent and essentials, etc. Bring a couple comfort nice things for your boyfriend like any gifts and anything special you can share or whatever like his favorite snacks. And then you’re done or you’ll drive yourself crazy. If everyone’s cell service is gone and they can’t get in touch, oh well. If nobody brought tents and they sleep in cars or mud, oh well. If everyone is hungry… you got it. Somebody can also always make a run in their car into a town for whatever else. Most places (I live in my motorhome and travel) can get instacart delivery even if they are sort of remote and again, somebody can always drive off to get anything needed. If the party is a sad disaster, it’s not your fault or problem. Try not to dwell and just enjoy. Bring some personal entertainment like a book and some gadgets you can recharge in your car.
Gently, you came to Reddit to ask about this situation because you care about your relationship but at the same time all your comments make you sound so unhappy. Like even if she lost all the weight it seems like you're full of resentment. Seems like you feel like she doesn't listen to you or care about your wants and needs. You haven't been together very long to be having such serious resentment. You don't sound compatible.
Annulment.
This frog isn't really a prince under a magic curse.
He's just a toad and loves licking his family's boots.
Respect and boundary thing, not age.
I was married to a man with ADHD who started out with verbal abuse, and escalated to physical. He always claimed that it was due to his ADHD and I pushed his buttons when I should know better.
It’s his responsibility to manage his condition if it makes him emotionally unstable. That being said, I know plenty of neurodiverse individuals that don’t abuse their partners Don’t tolerate abuse. Every bit of abuse someone gets away with emboldens then.