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I agree. It was a deal breaker in my relationship as well. I’m also entirely monogamous and my partner at the time who was long distance because of work mentioned that he would be open to trying an open relationship while we were distant. I never felt the same about him after he mentioned that. He tried to take it back at one point but I realized very quickly we had different values even when I thought they were shared. It wrecked my world completely during the time for like a week and then I got over it. Life’s to short to be sad about people who don’t really want you
Thinking what, and what exactly was that “everything” you had to lose?
Get a job and support yourself
If he was a reasonable guy I would say before but he sounds like he is going to go scorched earth and you have already tried to have constructive conversations with him. I might have a conversation with him like this is the last chance to make changes. But have the lawyer drawing papers in the mean time. Or just get the paperwork and give it to him the day you move out.
So what should he be working on?