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Your actions did not cause her actions. Sure, they they may have made her feel a way, but she had many choices & CHOSE to CHEAT.
See how easy it was for her to separate & “work on herself” after the fact? She could've done the same thing without cheating.
She's running away from accountability. She told the world of her circumstance but not WHY. She is in no way accepting accountability by making the situation public but conveniently omitting information that would make her the “bad guy.”
She's playing the victim. Losing nothing at all. Suffering no consequences.
She is stringing you along & making YOU do the work to bring the family back together.
She'll have her fun & suddenly say “but we were separated,” and once she realizes that the grass isn't greener she'll fall back on you.
Notice how she said she thought you meant “no new people,” meaning she has someone in mind & you probably know them orat least aware of their existence.
Lawyer up. Move on. Stability, conviction, honesty and decisiveness is what's best for you AND the children.