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Meadow , “Gotti” Romano, 19 y.o.
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Naah I swear I've read this before. Except it was your biological aunt who had the step son. Completely the same all down to the 4 year gap before everyone finding out and the aunt doing a 180 and disapproving after everyone found out. I'm calling this shady.
I can definitely understand where your coming from 100% I feel like the way you have to look at it is from their perspective your daughter told you that she felt like her and sage would never be real brother and sister, I can also see where it was very hot to accept that in a way considering you were a mother figure to them individually. I feel like their relationship is more of a childhood crush type of thing for them rather than “hey I was raised with you but I like you and wanna have an intimate relationship with you” you have to try and see it from their perspective.
I can definitely understand your frustrations with your husband I feel like me personally I would have loved to hear that it could be a chance of something rather than feeling alone in that type of situation. Also, I feel like your husband agreed with their situation and accepted the fact of it because honestly there isn't much he could do besides either support or not and definitely if he were to avoid the relationship then all three kids would definitely feel hurt in a sense and also maybe distance themselves more.
Lastly I can maybe understand why they hid the relationship from you for so long. They probably understand that their “situation” is the ordinary Hallmark story and they probably thought about telling you more often than not but they probably knew how you would feel considering that all three of your children felt as though you were a mother figure to them individually. I definitely kept a lot of my relationships and personal life a secret from my family not because it's wrong but of how I know they would have reacted, which I'm not saying you aren't valid to how your feeling because it's definitely a weird situation to be put in. I would try doing therapy and maybe asking your kids those questions that only they can really answer like why did they hide it for so long, etc..
If you enjoyed yourself, and it was appropriate to the way other people were behaving there shouldn’t be an issue here. I’d be wary of changing your normal way of expressing yourself. You shouldn’t change yourself because of your partner. You can be considerate of his feelings, but he should also be considerate of yours.
Perhaps apologise that he felt uncomfortable, but explain that it’s how you usually dance. If he persists, tell him that he may have been uncomfortable to see it but that it would be more uncomfortable for you to not express yourself the way you are used to.
If he loves you, he should support you being yourself
Me too
Just because you have crazy cravings doesn’t mean you need to fulfill that craving. It’s still not healthy to eat a whole cake and donuts all day. Even if that’s your only craving.
Its actually worse if he didnt mean it, because that means he only said it with the intention to hurt you. When you love someone, you dont try to hurt them on purpose (even if you’re angry and arguing). So your options are
He did mean it, so you should consider yourselves broken up and leave.
He didnt mean it, and only said the cruelest thing he could think of to hurt you, as a manipulation tactic to distract you from his cheating. He wants you to be so hurt and distraught that you beg him for another chance (instead of him, the cheater, begging for forgiveness) at which point he will have the upper hand in the relationship because you will constantly have to bend to his will, or he will use that line again because he saw how it worked. Dont let the line work on you, show him you know you deserve better.
Offer to do absolutely nothing.
I'll never tell you who YOU should vote for. I also give you mad respect for not parroting out a bunch of bs rhetoric and talking to me like a human being. I can absolutely understand voting for the democrats for your reasons. I did it myself…last time was in 2008. I got tired of seeing my vote go towards things I didn't support, and that's why I personally wont vote for conservatives no matter their team color.
You've also gained respect because you didn't call me any names, tell me I'm a horrible person, and you actually owned up to the democrat's faults. I'm not in agreement with a certain part of your argument, but honestly I like you too much at this point to bother bringing it up. I'd pretty much given up with reddit, as the commenters are usually so toxic. Thank you for bothering with your actual opinion instead of the normal trolling that usually gets tossed.
And briefly glimpsing a penis out of the corner of your eye in a gross ass locker room is not the reason women decide to leave their partners.
And by that logic what are gay and bi people supposed to do?
That's a red flag, jokes are meant to be funny, I think she's setting you up to get used to the news that she's cheating. Make it a boundary and say you don't appeciate these kind of jokes.
Consider if there are other red flags in the relationship, if they really are just jokes, she won't have a problem stopping.
They've been working out together at the OP's house. and no one is willing to give the OP information?
It's enough for me to dig further to give me peace of mind. Don't ask your husband any more questions. Work quietly. Watch out for this “nice girl,” as well—the “nice girl” who doesn't bother to mention to the OP that she's been working out with the OP's husband. I will get evidence and install a camera in the gym room. To anyone who says, “So do you think they are having sex during this 30 minutes of time where MIL was there?” Well, 30 minutes is good enough for a quickie.
no need to apologize. if someone is rubbing on one point too much , that can be a personal preference and doesn't harm society, she is the asshole. may be cut your losses and move on.
don't destroy other relationships due to her though.
Hey, I am not interested in a reletionship with you.
I am just here for sex. What do you think about that?
See results.
Use your big boy words now and tell her that you're not interested romantically, she deserves to know that.
Get out of that relationship before you burn yourself to the ground
She tries but I never push her once she starts yawning, If we are out I say lets go home etc. I sound whiny because that hurts me. I don't get to spend time with my gf, I am extremely busy and I only have free time with her in the evenings.
The usual “I cheated but its your fault response”…
You are not the bad guy. He is the one with unusual demands. He doesn't get to blame you when his unreasonable demands based on his known insecurities are not met. You can be sensitive and considerate of his condition, but I wouldn't entertain it or subjugate yourself when it's clearly unreasonable. A partnership, especially an intimate one, means one doesn't make rules for the other. Help yourself and search up 'emotional blackmail' for more insights.
Put her in charge of jacking duty.
Confront the lot of them he probably getting something put of it.
Unfortunately, you already know the answer here.
If adultery factors into the divorce in your jurisdiction, then consider hiring a PI or see if you can get into her phone (or see the messages synced to a computer).
Time to see a lawyer.
Sending strength!
Yeah about the children part I was doubting mostly because of my mental health, I thought I would never be able to heal and didn't want to be a shitty mother but then I started therapy, got healthier and had a bit of hope even tho I'm aware I'm still young and I don't plan on having kids until I'm financially stable and in a stable relationship haha. So I don't really feel “forced” or so
A lot of you are coming off so gross. This guy isn't good at setting boundaries, sure, but he's being literally SA'd while he's sleeping. Everyone should at least be self aware enough to not do that to someone they barely know. This chick sounds wildly not right. If the sexes were reversed this comment section would have an entirely different tone.