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Thank you very much; I think you’re right and I feel more confident about how I should handle this. I appreciate you taking the time!
I’ve used different ages to try and hide my identity a little bit. It’s kind of a specific situation.
“Hey, any interest in grabbing a coffee?”
You can't properly care or provide attention for that many kids in different homes. Nick Cannon fucking sucks for what he's doing.
But if those material things still don't make it the right time for HIM, mentally and emotionally, then the time is not right for him. It takes more than having external factors in place, and maybe it will just never be the right time for him to want to be a parent. The unfortunate fact here is that you may end up parting ways because neither of you should compromise on such a fundamental, huge decision just to satisfy the other. You each deserve the future you choose, but it may not be possible for that to be together.
This is the dumbest idea.
She can tell you whatever she thinks you want to hear, then absolutely come after you for child support if she wanted.
And, you're only 24. 10-15 years from now you could be married to the love of your life and planning a real family. I doubt potential future wife is gonna appreciate some random kid in the picture because you have some biological urge to spread your seed. And yeah, that's what I am gonna call it because you don't even care about raising the kid. You just want some of your DNA walking around.
Thanks man
So how do you quantify whether he's being shorted?
No. This is more of “I let you down gently right? You're not gonna go crazy on me, yes?”
Sublet to the ex?
I just hate the thought of a kid that is made from me isn’t gonna have a chance at life ):
Have you considered couple’s therapy and would he be willing?
And honestly, how is you not helping her stay going to make your daughter miss out on having her mother around when she was never around in the first place? She only is trying now because she knows she will be here illegally or get deported otherwise. Once she secures her stay, she would be right back off again. She is an adult and can Google how to get a visa and be here legally if she wants to so badly.
I don't care if this gets ignored, but I was spanked once as a child. I was 7 and punched my sister in the face. I had been warned several times to stop being a bully, they had told me it hurts, they tried time outs, none of it mattered. Getting spanked was what finally taught me that getting hit hurts, and I never hit my sister again after that.
I was never spanked for being mouthy, or for sneaking out, or stealing snacks, etc. A parents job is to prepare the child for the real world. I grew up with a guy who would swear and throw things at his mom, would steal money from her purse, would straight up assault his little brother. She even sent him to what was essentially a boot camp one summer, and he didn't care. He knew she would never hit him, and took full advantage of it. Now he's in prison for 11 years for sexual assault.
Sometimes physical discipline is what is needed to teach a child how the real world works. You're not doing them favours by always treating them from a place of understanding and compassion
You can't change her diet, all you can do is be supportive and try to make healthy choices in food and maybe try getting more exercise, try going for walks in the evening
He’s just not interested. Unfortunately dating sucks, and people aren’t up front about being losing interest. They hate turning people down, and they want to keep everybody around for options and validation. People hate communicating their feelings and it really sucks being on the receiving side of this
Just gotta move onto the next guy. Good luck
I wouldn't take her seriously as girlfriend material. She is for recreational use only.
I would tell her straight up. “I like you and I could see us having a relationship, but I can't take you seriously as a girlfriend if you are going to do this. We can hang out and fuck if you want, but I can't take you seriously.”
Also she's not bipolar- don't throw around mental health diagnosis in general, but making those kind of assumptions that she's “crazy” whatever is just going to blow up in your face.
And you're not an idiot. Just communicate and if you two are compatible, you can make it work.
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so are you, it seems, as i genuinely don’t understand where the “ego” thing actually comes from. this seems more like a frightened response and trying to gauge if the guy was being malicious, rather than “oh no a MAN is stronger than me, what do i do??”
I agree completely. Would OP's GF then mind if he regularly went to same-sex hard saunas? If not, then perfect.
Then again, even though nudity isn't inherently sexual, OP is allowed to feel uncomfortable with the situation. Can't really expect OP to suddently undo thousands of years of stigma (mainly religious) against nudity.
This is a disgusting breach of anyone’s trust.
Your EX bf has just placed his mummy firmly in your financial business.
Mummy will now be drawing up a budget for you to stick to and will now be managing your finances for the rest of your life.
Mummy will now be giving you pocket money if your a good girl….
Welcome to your future if you put up with this bullshit and allow them any say in how you manage your OWN debt and finances.
But you don’t think I’m crazy or was “reading it wrong” like he said, right?
People often date when they are solo travelling. The woman he was dating was an adult, and presumably knew he wasn’t staying there long term. As long as he wasn’t dishonest with her, I see no issues with this.
Sometimes paid content is better. But if he is going through this whole “I shouldn't watch porn” thing it is more likely he was just desperate enough to get caught by the sales pitch.
I did some really freaky shit when I still believed porn was wrong.
You need to really just stop. I’m sorry but after seeing your ages this post makes me furious. Step off your high horse. You are not a college advisor. You are not an administrator from a medical school. He is 18. If his heart is really passionate about moving toward medicine then there are ways to better support his dreams. He can go to CC to build his GPA and transfer to undergrad and work from there. The fact he’s in CC is commendable. You need a reality check.
If he doesn’t want to go into the medical field he could try for healthcare administration and so on. There are plenty of fields for people to enter if they aren’t strong in math or science. You need to do better and I’m honestly amazed how confident you sound at 18. Finish college first. And why is this even stressing you out so much? Are you his mother?
You've been together for such a short time yet you know his default is to get defensive in arguments? Honey, you shouldn't be arguing enough this early on for you to say that.
This isn't the guy for you. You don't trust him (with reason) and instead of being in the intensely loving phase you're arguing regularly in an unhealthy way.
85-90 mph,
You need to leave.
I feel she's still around because of our child but she's also stated that she wants to be with me because I provide things that others don't. I've thought about what she meant by that and I believe it's due to good paying job that pays the bills and more, as well as the luxuries of a nice car, etc.
I feel like I agree with your comment. My overthinking gets the best of me and I feel terrible knowing that my son isn't with me day in and day out but as you mentioned, I think it'd be best if we were separated as not to create a toxic environment for our child.
I appreciate the comment!
you keep the poor puppy inside it’s kennel all day unless it’s going outside? that’s terrible!:( they need exercise. your boyfriend fucking sucks and is an asshole. shouldn’t have agreed to move in if he was gonna be like this. 100% leave, or give up the dog so it can get proper care because that’s not right. you have to decide if the dog or this guy who’s 10 years older than u is more important
? His secret is.. No brain, lmao
I already told him and told him to change his passwords. He said, “there's nothing on there anyway.” He has a temper and it's been escalating, so my behaviour being affected like this (not blaming him; I did what I did) means it needs to end. But thank you.
Oh absolutely if we intended to sleep in the same bed that would be icky but we literally zonked out.
Again I was getting a huge whiff of victim shaming and I have to argue against that.
I hope she told you everything you wanted to know. I assume they had been flirting at work before that happened.
Consider how her behavior turned you into the kind of partner you never wanted to be.
Realize that very few men could have just forgotten about it. Myself included.
She poisoned the relationship.
You doubtless saw yourself being an infatuated companion and lover and never imagined having to live! in such a toxic environment.
You have some healing to do, and she needs to take responsibility along the way and appreciate the gift of reconciliation you are willing to give her.
Consider posting in the AsOneAfterInfidelity sub, for more help with that
You're young. Leave this fool
And out of curiosity, why is it a bad choice color for a room?
My partner tried to involve me in his gym and routine and I wasn't having it. I joined my own gym and pay for it. So I was able go when I want and do the workouts I want. We are both happier going at our pace and he's more supportive
Your manz isn't doing either. Being supportive or happy for you.
She's acting her age
I hate when people use words like jealous as a tool of shame.
Like her and her friends implying that her being affectionate with other men but not with you isn't the problem. It's your feelings about it that are the problem.
Or that her having crazy monkey double back flip sex with other men but only giving you duty starfish isn't the problem. It's your feelings about it that's the problem.
I would never date someone who thinks they're gonna be having sex with other people. That doesn't make me me jealous or insecure. I just have self respect, dignity and a backbone. Sounds like you have all those things too and that's why this isn't working for you.
You thought maybe you could deal with this because you love her. But you're realizing now you can't. Best to walk away now before you get married.
Good luck buddy.
The court decided that the father’s home was a perfectly safe environment for the child despite OP providing evidence of his abuse. Take that up with the judge, it’s not her fault.
She was already receiving mental health treatment throughout this ordeal. It did not prevent her from wanting to kill herself.
She exhausted her options in court and was given a choice between 50/50 with her rapist (which you can’t just walk away from until you’re “ready” to mentally deal with it) or getting away from a situation that was making her suicidal.
Again, I don’t see anybody at all saying the child is being put in an acceptable situation. He’s not and it’s horrible. But nobody can explain to me how OP staying to be a traumatized, suicidal mother is going to help the kid in any way.
They are friends. Problem is they've known him longer and her only few months.
I have blocked her
But at least by her post she isn't just laying there. So his comment calling her one is just…. It brands him as an asshole. There isn't much else to do when you are actively participating and trying to ask (in her post she at least says she does ask if there is anything else she can do that he'd like). Sounds more like he has issues that have nothing to do with her participation.
You basically can make every point of your comment about her being dismissive and that she should be doing something…
No easy way out of this situation.
I’m sorry but dancing is not fun
Each of these reasons are plenty enough to break it off. However you don’t need a reason, especially this early in the relationship. A simple “this just isn’t working for me” is enough. All that aside, you should always trust your gut instincts, we have them for a reason. Trust your parents too. I know that no one wants to hear that but it’s true. If I had listened to mine I definitely wouldn’t have had the problems I did and if my kids had listened to me, they wouldn’t have either.
Well, you could tell her to stop sexually assaulting you, because that's what it is.
I have no idea what you said but I’m pretty sure you just outed yourself bruh
I disagree. Im assuming that there was a good reason why she said that. He couldn’t get her point when she discussed it with him. She was telling him what he is doing wrong and he didn’t want to accept that. „Why don’t you ask your friends“ (i assume) meant „why don’t you ask them what you are doing wrong and why im saying what im saying, you don’t have any and that’s exactly my point. You don’t have friends because you never make any efforts for anyone.“
I don’t mean that this is a regular fight, i meant that she explained it in their current fight over and over again because she explained it and he wouldn’t even listen to her properly or taking her seriously.
You ASSUME that she is saying that and thinks that he doesn’t deserve friends because i didn’t get that feeling. For me it’s obvious that she meant it to make a point and not telling him he doesn’t deserve friends. That’s why im saying you make assumptions here.
IUD's are highly effective, but if you prefer to still use a condom, then that's your decision.
I would let your GF know that even though she has an IUD, you still have a lot of anxiety, which will affect your performance/enjoyment in the bedroom, and so you still want to use a condom.
I was with you until you said that she’s been great to your kids. I can see why she’d find it unfair that you wouldn’t want to do the same
My ex took $15K from before I realized “love” couldn't fix the problem. I will never see that money again. He took it and used it for a trip to fucking Britain.
Dump him.
She started blowing up on me and cussing me out repeatedly for something as small as like forgetting which day she was working.
Brew, if your GF is a pwBPD (person with BPD), she carries much anger inside from early childhood. You therefore don't have to do a thing to CREATE the anger. Rather, you only have to do or say some minor thing that triggers a release of anger that is already there. This is why a pwBPD can burst into a rage in only a few seconds.
Moreover, the key defining characteristic of BPD is the inability to regulate one's own emotions, resulting in unstable behavior. This is why, outside the USA, most countries call this disorder “emotionally unstable personality disorder” (EUPD).
What should I do? Should I even do anything or just ignore it and move on?
If you choose to stay in a relationship with an untreated pwBPD, Brew, whatever you do will be hurtful to her much of the time. A comment or action that pleases her on one day may greatly offend her when repeated a week later. Moreover, she often will perceive you as being hurtful when you DO something and hurtful when you DON'T do it. In this way, you often are damned if you do and damned if you don't.
This conundrum is due to the position of her two great fears — abandonment and engulfment — at opposite ends of the very same spectrum. This means you often find yourself in a lose/lose situation because, as you back away from one fear to avoid triggering it, you will start triggering the fear at the other end of that same spectrum.
Your predicament is that the solution to calming her abandonment fear (drawing close and being intimate) is the very action that triggers her engulfment fear. Likewise, the solution to calming her engulfment fear (moving back away to give her breathing space) is the very action that triggers her abandonment fear.
Consequently, as you move close to comfort her and assure her of your love, you eventually will start triggering her engulfment fear, making her feel like she's being suffocated and controlled by you. A pwBPD usually craves intimacy like nearly all other adults — but she cannot tolerate it for very long.
Because she has a weak sense of self-identity, she easily becomes very enmeshed in your strong personality during sustained periods of closeness and intimacy. This is why her sense of personal boundaries is so weak that she has difficulty seeing where HER feelings and problems stop and YOURS begin. Yet, as you back away to give her breathing space, you often will find that you've started triggering her abandonment fear.
In my 15 years of experience with my BPD exW, I found that there is no midpoints solution (between “too close” and “too far away”) where you can safely stand to avoid triggering those two fears. Until a pwBPD learns how to better regulate her own emotions and tame her two fears, that Goldilocks position will not exist. This is why a relationship with an untreated pwBPD typically is characterized by a repeating cycle of push-you-away and pull-you-back.
Indeed, even if you are sitting perfectly still and not saying a word, a pwBPD who is experiencing hurtful feelings will project those feelings onto you. Her subconscious does this to protect her fragile ego from seeing too much of reality — and to externalize the pain, getting it outside her body.
Because that projection occurs entirely at the subconscious level, she will consciously be convinced that the painful feeling or hurtful thought is coming from you. This is why an untreated pwBPD usually BELIEVES the false accusations coming out of her mouth (at the moment she is saying them).
Hence, as long as you remain in a relationship with an untreated pwBPD, you often will find yourself hurting her — i.e., triggering her engulfment fear as you draw near, triggering her abandonment fear as you draw back, and triggering her anger even when you are sitting still and saying absolutely nothing. At least, this has been my experience, Brew.
Well, it sounds to me like your choice is already made then, right? You look certain you can't convince him to make his family behave and having to deal with more of them (3h40 ain't that far away) fills you with dread. You know you've done what you could -without betraying yourself- to have a good relationship with them and it didn't work, and you don't see yourself dealing with a lifetime of that bullshit, of getting shunned and insulted, of having to worry of what they may say to your children about you when they'll visit their grandparents without you (or worse, with you). To me, it doesn't look like you believe there's a solution, but instead like your decision is already made and you're just psyching yourself up to break up with him.
Air filter. It will help cover the noise so that you don’t awaken from it, and help with the smell. Activated charcoal filter or it won’t help much. You would be very rude to try to complain about an unconscious uncontrollable bodily function.
Um he doesn’t know where you live!? Then send him a text- “we’re done. I no longer wish to continue this relationship and since you won’t accept it when I say it in person, here it is in writing. Don’t contact me, I am moving on with my life.” Then Ghost him. Block his number, social media, etc. tell your employers that you have had a messy break up and please don’t give your contact information out.
Let you parents know that you were seeing a guy who you realised wasn’t age appropriate and you have ended it(better they hear it from you that from him if he decides to go nuclear).
You are most definitely doing something wrong. This woman has shown you 11-teen different ways that she is unstable and is looking for ANY guy to get rich and marry her so she can prove something to herself and her ex. RUN!
How about leave him the fuck alone? He doesn’t owe you anything, certainly not anything like wishing you and her happiness. there’s nothing you can do to repay him for what you’ve done to him.
Although it would be funny to see the man he’s turned into turn up at to your wedding in his dress uniform.
I’m not a leech and I’ve worked 3 jobs while attending university full time live! during Covid.
I can’t be a mother or wife if the man I’m with isn’t doing it with me (which is the point of this post)
Please be kinder.
I can't really answer that, I'm not that person. But if you're chatting up transwomen on Grindr you probably have a strong desire for anal.
I'm wondering how much of this is in your head vs actually happening. You salvage it by working with a therapist to deal with the resentment and being proactively friendly with the parents and teachers. I know it sucks but people judge what they don't know or understand. So don't ignore your feelings or the reactions that are happening. It's odd to say but you could also consider moving since you might be dealing with small town syndrome.
This is exactly why you live! with someone for a bit before you marry them. Y'all didn't pass this stage. Only option is to move on
This is exactly why you live with someone for a bit before you marry them. Y'all didn't pass this stage. Only option is to move on
This is exactly why you live! with someone for a bit before you marry them. Y'all didn't pass this stage. Only option is to move on
Why did you guys break up? That seems important…
Why did you guys break up? That seems important…
Smh. What I meant by that is that she will no longer believe any compliments. He didn't even backtrack and say he didn't mean it. He only apologized that she found out.
Leave her alone. I took 4 months away from the world to work on my mental health. I had a doctor. A psychiatrist and a therapist. I talked to no one else. No tv. No internet. Honestly. Best time of my life lol. When I came back I removed people from my life that no longer fit with who I was. I cut out the users. Emotional vampires. Etc.
It’s over you ain’t saving it
I'm 29 and couldn't fathom dating someone your age, we'd be in such different places in life that we'd have so little to nothing in common. He's for sure using you for fun and status.
So, cheating is not and should not be normalized I cheated once and it was the single most selfish thing I ever did. Now, what is super important for you to hear men look, men have thoughts but we do not WANT to cheat ! He is falling for the “ high value man” language that is the flavor of the week.
Do we think it's the original OP, or do they collect 'ccontroversial' sounding posts and copy-paste them for inexplicable reasons?
That was really gross. Now you know to never be alone with him.
I’m not sure what your relationship with his wife is like? If you’re at all friendly, it might help to approach her, tell her how uncomfortable you were. Explain that you would never consider that, and you want to keep the close relationship between your daughter and them, but you don’t want BIL to get the wrong idea. Ask her to make sure any family plans that include you and him also include her. Idk. This could go badly if you’re not close.
he sounds verbally abusive
Well, i messaged her if she wanted to talk and even though she’s sick she called me
We talked a little and from what i can get braking up didnt even cross her mind.
For the record: she called me before even opening my message.
Well, i messaged her if she wanted to talk and even though she’s sick she called me
We talked a little and from what i can get braking up didnt even cross her mind.
For the record: she called me before even opening my message.
Well that seems like something you need to work on.
There's that sparkling personality.
How can she possibly be a “fantastic” support when she doesn’t let you show your emotions? That is not a thing.
Nobody deserves to be subjected to violence but OP would be forgiven a sense of Schadenfreude, especially given the way almost all the family have sided with the BF stealing sister.
If she vomits after eating and is passed out she can suffocate. Not very good idea.
Instead of misogyny you may want to take a look at NPD or Narcisstic personality disorder and its traits.
He is not wrong ??♀️
He's making no effort to spend meaningful time with you. Why are you still putting in the effort to date him? Love is not enough. He's showing you his priorities and you aren't even in the top 3. It's time for you to move on.
If my wife was doing what you are doing I would leave her. You got yourself a nice emotional affair partner there.
He’s trickle truthing her 100%. It doesn’t add up because he’s not revealing the entire situation yet (or its severity, I imagine)
Most definitely get a prenup if you were to marry her. If she doesn’t sign do not marry her. All it would take would be married for a few weeks then divorce and take half of everything you own just out of spite for not doing what she wanted now.
She showed her true colors when she saw all those $$$$. Protect yourself
If you are done you are done. He will always claim it's because your parents took you back but that really doesn't matter if it's over. His reaction is somewhat understandable if she really did say horrible things about him and his parents (I'm assuming racist since you mentioned he is foreign) He feels you're not sympathetic to the fact that while your parents might love you, they still don't accept him and nothing has actually changed except they regret the part where they kicked you out.
One never really knows how dumb someone can be until they show you. It doesn't look like she's blind to it now that he's fucked up like this
I explained why you just didn’t understand it. And no I don’t go around asking women, it’s not hard to tell when most are fake just by looking at them. They way fake ones bounce are completely different. Never mind the feeling.
What’s the point of him doing this…to keep you hooked, so he can reel you back in, just in case he “loses sparks” with this new GF.
Don’t be his back-up plan. Block him and move on. You deserve and will find someone who have plenty of sparks just for you.
Ask him.
I forget apps are on my phone for literal years. Odds are, he's forgotten about it because he's not been using it.
It's possible to have a very deep platonic love. The problem is keeping it platonic on both sides. Good luck!
How do I stop her from going?
You don't.
You dump her ass for even thinking it is acceptable to go on a cruise with (or even be 'friends' with) a guy that has continuously disrespected you and your relationship.
Did he know he was the father when he told you he wasn't?
OP I think you're absolutely correct to feel uncomfortable
“zero sexual attraction” to me this is a very weird deflection – its one of those comments that sounds like reassurance but in this case it sounds like a way to lie without lying.
> that she loves me like no one ever before.
This also has that hyperbolic love-bomby feel I think people should be wary of over the top comments that are weirdly comparative.
Overall it feels like this is a situation that really can only be bad, at BEST you're not GFs priority , any further context is just going to be more dodgy
Get an attorney first and before you make a decision about visitation with her. Call and get an appointment with a family therapist to help you make that best decisions for your daughter and to prepare her and yourselves should the ex go to court for visitation.
To me, sometimes there should be exceptions to the rule. Is the dress hurt-your-eyes white or an understated white? What will she wear with it? (even a light jacket can completely change the look of what one's wearing) (same goes with accessories and shoes, hats (if you are in a hat to a wedding wearing country) etc.
If you genuinely like each other and she's not a complete or hidden psycho, let it go.
If you want to bring it up, don't do it confrontationally – just maybe ask what she's wearing and then say: I thought it was a faux pas to wear white at weddings!
Feels like it is. Just the way that it’s written feels like they’re trying to get a rise out of people
Why in the world would you feel the need to say that? Why was it necessary at all? It’s just downright cruel.
Even for solid, happy relationships where both parties want a baby, it strains the relationship. Especially having a newborn, where at least one of you has to wake up every hour and half (literally) to feed said newborn. Being that exhausted makes everything else incredibly hard. Seriously, the first night I got 4 hours of sleep in a row, I cried because I felt so rested. Before I got pregnant, I'd sleep 8-9 hours a night.
Pregnancy is very hot on your body, both before and after you have the baby and, at least in the States, there's virtually no programs to help you. This is obviously not my call, but I do strongly urge you to listen to yourself and your needs. Don't let your bf talk you into something so permanent as a child with him because whatever comes afterwards, you will have to work together to raise that child. If you break up and you have a child together, will he be spiteful? Will he fight you on petty, small things? How he behaved in previous break ups might give you an indication (unless he was just trying to get back together).
Your bf sucks.
Unfortunately. Yes. Considering what he put me through….
I’m sure he is confused…
So… I take it I won’t hear from him?
It would be extremely disrespectful for her to try and talk him out of kids. Would she appreciate it if he tried to convince her to have them despite knowing about her trauma?
You’re sweet. 🙂
Getho wedding that’s all I’m going to say ???
bestie that is called manifesting ? not the same i am dreaming abt winning a grammy with BTS nothing that benefits me??
She's doing yoga and we've changed our entire diet at her request to lose weight it's been working 🙂 I think it's a matter of time and therapy
Before you take any action you speak with a lawyer. Do not leave the house without speaking with a lawyer, keep the evidence in a safe hidden spot
If she will cheat with you, she will cheat on you.
Whether he likes her or not is irrelevant, he’s using her to wind you up and mess with your head. Stop allowing this. Tell him to grow up or get out. If anyone needs a therapist it’s him, not you.
It was hardly thoughtless.
He literally picked out a ring that fit all the specifications she asked for.
She’s probably already slept with someone else and wants to ease the guilt by telling you to do it too
Wow and here I feel awkward messaging my (very pleasant) mother in law. This is kind of weird to me.
Has a ring stopped other people from trying to pursue someone? You have morals, she does not.
You can make your wife do anything she doesn't want to. I wish one of you would have the courage to end things for the sake of your daughter.
In the back of my mind the thought is there
Ok so he’s either impregnated someone and he has a kid walking around and doesn’t want to repeat that? Probably not. Sounds more like he doesn’t really comprehend how women get pregnant…. At all. I’d set him up with a gynecologist appointment, and she can explain it to him. If after the appointment he is still weird about it, I’d break up with him, because then it’s some incompatibility issue.
Wouldn’t cameras at YOUR house do this? If you have cameras at all your doors, along the house, and the driveway, it would catch your husband leaving. Tell him you are freaked out about crime in the neighborhood, you heard robbers were breaking into homes. If he refuses, that’s a giant red flag.
You sound exhausting. Not because you have mental health issues, but because of how you think they entitle you to unlimited access to your girlfriend.
If you're feeling suicidal, go to therapy or call a helpline. Your teenage girlfriend cannot help you overcome suicidal tendencies in the long term. Expecting her to drop everything everytime you, seemingly frequently, feel suicidal comes across as manipulative. It's also an unproductive way to cope.
'It's not a light threat' what, so if she doesn't come running whenever you whistle you'll kill you self?
Too early to tell but my advice is to focus on yourself and don’t date people who only do “situationships”
Get him back, put up a boundary, and tell your family to back the fuck off and chill out. I'm unfortunately also latino with a family with very few boundaries….. I don't talk to them much and I'm much happier having done so. If this is your family's first impression then it's pretty pathetic and you need to consider what makes you happy versus what satisfies their possibly insane expectations.
Is it possible you have Autism and things come out the wrong way?
Oh yeah, they totally ‘made out’ except it wasn’t just with their mouths.
that's pretty much what my mom has been saying for a long time. Thank you
He's seeing you as more free than him and trying to get you to not lock yourself down by dealing with other people's lives. He probably ended up in his current situation by doing something similar.
Anyways, I wouldn't have responded to that message and if he said like “aren't you going to say anything” I'd hit him with the “You just said there's no point. You see this going nowhere. You just broke up with me. If you think you didn't maybe you should understand more comprehensively.”
Or go the “shut up and handle your shit so you can stop talking me out of loving you.”
It is like “change that behaviour, and I can change that behaviour for you”. That is how relationships walk. You don't stay the same in the relationship and in life.
It is like “change that behaviour, and I can change that behaviour for you”. That is how relationships walk. You don't stay the same in the relationship and in life.
Damn. I hope one shows up soon for you ?
As a 35 year old… wtf? why? I would never date a 20 year old. I don’t care if they’re “mature for their age”. Your frontal lobe isn’t even finished yet. There is nothing genuinely positive he has in mind from dating someone so young. There’s plenty of people his own age, but he picks you because he finds you innocent and naive and he feels powerful. He also knows you’re easily manipulated to make choices he wants you to make (going on a trip..). You’re easy, and emotional. He wants a puppet. That gets him off.
You decide if you want that.
Thank you for saying so. I've been trying to find an out but I really hate to hurt hos feelings even tho he cares nothing about mine apparently
If it were not for the location services being disabled all of a sudden, I would have said that if she hasnt cheated, she is trying to. However, there is only one reason to disable location services, and that is to prevent people from seeing where you actually are in fact going. That is just my interpretation based on what you described.
Maybe because he’s been cheating on her for like 2 years
Your family will never be 'destroyed' by you telling them that someone hurt you badly and you are now vulnerable.
By telling them you are not 'doing anything to them'.
Please stop accepting blame for something that someone else did to you.
You are the Victim. So, you contact your family to get the support that you need to heal.
The only way that you would “destroy” them is if they are awful assholes who tell you that it didn't really happen and to go back to your abuser. There are psycho families like that. You just learn to go NC with those and create your own family.
No no no. Girl, he is not the one. This does not get better, and you deserve better. Waste no more time on this greasy lump, and don’t ever, ever tolerate being called names or told to shut tf up.
No. You piddled on the floor one too many times and have been sent the the shelter.
We got back together at the end of January. I can’t imagine she knows. I am definitely not going to ghost her. We both hooked up with other people when we were apart but I always used protection
No there grammar is surprising good and well thought out. But the word choice is usually the same for instance I have viewed quite a few post saying “they were so cruel to me” and to me it such a weird of saying they treated me bad, almost like chatgpt wrote it. I may be overthinking this, but their writing style is so peculiar and individualistic that it's nearly impossible to tell them apart from one another. If that makes sense.
This is all 100% bullshit. Absolute bullshit. Involuntary 51-50s DO NOT HAPPEN if someone is NOT a danger to themselves or others. Fuck all the way off. If this is somehow true, you couldn't have just used your fucking words to communicate with her? Ask her “hey what's going on?”