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It was the case for me at OPs age. It took me a LONG time to figure out that, actually, I was not doing anything wrong by touching myself. It's not a betrayal. It's healthy, both physically and psychologically (as long as you're not doing it dozens of times a day, of course).
OP, should you come across these comments, he is indeed insecure and controlling. At 33, that's unlikely to change unless he's willing to admit and address those habits. And perhaps not even then. Don't do what I did at your age and assume this is just how men are. It isn't this is just how RUBBISH men are.
There are plenty of attractive, well-adjusted men in the world who would LOVE to have you on their arm (and touching yourself in their bed). You don't need this particular individual and shouldn't settle for it. Let him be rubbish on his own.
So, she hasn't cheated? You've been talking for a few weeks and plan to meet up. Where is there cheating?
What you should do is have a long hard look at yourself in the mirror, then go get a dictionary and look up cheating.
Is your sister the one calling?
She likely wants to bang someone else. Maybe see if your ? is the issue. She belong to the streets my man.
You’re 25, choosing to stay with an abusive partner is ridiculous. You have an entire life ahead of you, why waste it with trash.
If you are being told by a professional that your partner is abusive and that the relationship is not going to improve, and that it’s detrimental to your own health…
Leave. And it’s not “leaving him like his mom did” it’s LEAVING. Period. Just because he has mommy issues doesn’t mean that nobody is ever allowed to leave the guy, that’s just stupid.
It's nearly certain given the caving, but I'm holding him responsible as he had at least a small idea and funded it.
Couples therapy, immediately. Her lack of empathy about your mother is deeply alarming and the reaction after wildly out of line. This is manipulative and destructive behavior. Look up stonewalling. It’s absolutely terrible and unfair to you. Please know this is so far from an acceptable way to treat your partner and a bad sign for the relationship.
Damn you’re heartless.
Ok i wasnt suggesting u did it but maybe he thought that was the case.
for women body weight can’t be lost easily when u get older, have kids, and especially not if u take medications like birth control
there’s always hair plugs, wigs, or whatever tf elon musk is doing ?
Here is a novel idea: not all people are like you. Some simply dont have the same stance against cheating as you do.
I’m so sorry you are in this position. Because you have some time, maybe take some time away if you’re able. You need time and space to think, and he needs to … get real.
Unfortunately, at the end of the day, this baby will be your responsibility. You can re-think your marriage and your family situation, consider separation, divorce, etc. but you ARE going to have this baby and you have to get your arms around that first.
Next, how will you explain things to your kids? I can completely relate to the always being “someone’s wife” and then “someone’s mom.” I just couldn’t watch Lion King one more time or sing the Barney song without throwing up in my mouth. I needed … more.
Fortunately I was able to find work from home, long before anyone else was doing it, and I had the best and the worst of both worlds for my child raising years. But I discovered something in the process… my kids ended up needing me more when they became adolescents. This is the time of their lives when the hard choices come – kids offering cigarettes (or more) shenanigans going on in the back of the bus, sexting, etc.
I found myself driving the neighborhood kids to and from school. I learned to melt into the drivers seat and not say a word. Didn’t quiz them about their days, what they learned or if they made new friends. I just … eavesdropped. And when kids don’t think anyone is listening, they talk together about EVERYTHING. It gave me all the information I would need to guide them into adulthood- the lessons to focus on, the ones I didn’t need to sweat. It enabled me to be a really good mom, and teacher of life to my now grown brood.
I have three jobs now, a regular full time gig, my own business (still, after 30+ years) and I’m a fitness instructor (something I picked up along the way) and my life is full. It was nude, sometimes really hard to be mostly unhappy and always being the one to sacrifice. But at the end of my days, I know I’ve made a difference. I just had to be patient, and surrender to the life I had created – even if it didn’t always look the way I wanted or fulfill my purpose.
I’m sorry I kinda word puked, but my heart hurts for you and I wanted to find a way to say that this, too, shall pass. And you can have all you want – you might just have to shift gears and be patient a little longer.
I wish you all the luck and love.
OP, “find” yourself is almost universally understood as having the freedom to experience other people. She didn't have to tell you she was flirting with guys, but she did. So if your mutual interpretation of being in a relationship involves monogamy she's basically telling you up front that she's wandering to some degree. In short, you're probably right to feel like she's at least contorting the limitations of exclusivity here.
I swear to god people on this site must think that other people are clairvoyant and can tell them what a total stranger is going to do.
If you don't trust your boyfriend and you think he is lying to you, why are you dating him?
Dude. I haven't been like that since early 20s. I got hammered at my own wedding though, and a few other times but damn. Every weekend? It's so far off what I would do now, but I'm 33 and a mother now so ? not compatible. Wouldn't do it anyway, I get tired and hungover just reading about it.
This is so weird. Of course you can’t agree. It’s such a limitless request. What he should have done is said what he wants from his child’s education.
Was he pushed too much by his parents as a kid? Did he attend somewhere he wasn’t protected or hated, like a boarding school or sent to a strict school? It sounds like he’s got something he’s panicked about and instead of opening up to you has wanted to put a stop in that part, like a pin that says I will control this so it won’t happen again,
I fucking hate when people bomb these kinds of replies with downvotes. You need support, not snarky reactions. Please consider leaving this relationship. This is such a bad situation.
Um, any chance this is an extremely creative way to explain away an affair baby?
Ok playing along with his story though…..Seriously he must spawn so he naturally scours ads to do this with a rando, swears no sex, and thinks all of that is cool to tell you about after the fact?
Leave, before she comes after him for child support.
Even if you believe his story, he’s a compete ass not worth any MORE of your time.
I would give her some space and time. Then I would do some self-reflection and identify why she broke up with me and what factors led to that. I would then self reflect and see if I can improve myself in any other ways and if I'm actually ready for a relationship in marriage. A lot of the times in relationships we sacrifice our partners needs for ours. That doesn't work for a lot of people and some people don't want a relationship like that. It's all about compromise and it sounds like you need to come up with a compromise that works for both of you. I'm not sure what all the problems in your relationship are but therapy always helps and so does communication