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By “kept away” I mean always holstered. He has a right to carry it, and I understand people can have negative feelings about it. But his right to have it isn’t suspended by the way people feel.
Exactly!! It never lasts
He could just be stressing about something, that can have an effect on his libido.
i would've knocked his ass out. thats a boy not a man
Hence there's 0.1% chance of that
Yeah 8 years not in a relationship because he was screwing around ?
I think he gave the obligatory “it won't happen again” and said he deleted them from his phone but I mean they are in his Google photos so he can still access them anytime he wants.
I agree it's creepy. Like what is he doing, getting off to these photos? Ffs.
But seriously, he sounds ridiculous, breakup with him and find an adult to date.
Even if she were single, it sounds like she does needs to figure out who she is and learn to love herself. The reason she gave you for marrying her husband doesn’t sound like it came from someone who has the capacity to fully understand what love and marriage are about. It sounds like you may have an inkling, but there is potential for you to cause irreparable damage to your own values/ideas of love with this situation.
I agree with the rest of the crew, if she is doing this with you now, she has great potential to do it to you later.
You both have children who are at young impressionable ages. You are saying you don’t want to be involved with her while being involved with her. You are always showing your child what love looks like. Be careful what you show them. They will follow in your steps.
This is simple. Don’t over complicate it- think about how you are asking advice for a situation you don’t feel good about and do what your morals/values tell you to do. That’s different for everyone, but it sounds like you already know what you need to do.
You can't stop them from buying even if it's dull they'll thrash you but regret the moment when their friends or sisters tell them it's not good.
Your wife is physically and emotionally abusive. Get out now.
Well son, you've got yourself a real bitch there. And speaking of there, clearly she didnt want you there.
So the question you need to ask yourself is why? And be honest with yourself when you answer it.
Tell him if he wants a online in prostitute he should hire one.. very distorted way of a sexual relationship. And you're 19. He's gross when you're his age you will think he was..
I would never cheat on Bob.
You're Emotionally cheating on your boyfriend.
If you want to save your relationship, then stop all communication with your “FRIEND” and maintain boundaries, if you can't, then break up with Bob.
So that’s a no then. So you’re living with the guy, working for him, and all you’re getting is room, board, and some dick.
You know online in nanny’s get a salary on top of room and board, right? He’s getting a great deal, you are not. And it’ll be even worse after a few years when he either no long needs a nanny or finds his next teenager. Then you’ll be without any money, no place to live!, and no education.
You also realize he doesn’t want you to go to school because then his free nanny isn’t available when he needs her.
Regardless of the timing, I don’t think you get to tell somebody that you will only have children if they take on the entire financial risk of having them, and still get to be considered a good person. If it’s so important to him for his kids to have a stay at home parent, he can be the one to do it. He can risk his lifelong financial stability by giving up his career for 5+ years. That is not a fair condition to impose on somebody else.
he broke it off
I know, I know … I never expected myself to be so clingy, but here we are. Guess there's nothing to do but wait. Would you say it's okay to check in every few days, just “how are you”s and the like?
Woah, just back away from this whole situation slowly and calmly then when you get to a good distance, run and never look back. Too much, too soon
Why do you feel like he deceived you, when you just assumed he quit smoking? He never said he quit did he? It was just something you both talked about doing.
I'd still get a door blocker. They just go under the door, so they can't open from the outside.
You should move on. It's a new-ish relationship and you're already both sneaky and fighting.
Haven't you posted this before?
“Brian” sounds like a fairly reasonable guy willing to impart his life experience onto you and having people like this in your life can be helpful. But he may be the classic “mentor” and/or “transitional” relationship you needed to recover after your divorce. It could be that you and he were never meant to be together forever but that he was what you needed in your life at a specific moment. You also have to consider that he has feelings too and his own past to contend with. He's setting up boundaries to keep his own life on track and in the service of his own emotional health he can't just wait around until you're ready for something serious. He's pushing 50, OP and just to put it bluntly, if he doesn't intend to die alone he's going to need to nail something down fast. You on the other hand have plenty of time to work through your issues and still find a life partner when you're ready. He doesn't have that luxury.
Yes it's long distance
I think I’m mostly just nervous that he doesn’t actually care ?
What are you even talking about? I asked for advice about a situation that could be at hand. Now you’re saying I don’t have relationship experience at 25? I’ve been in 4 relationships my entire life. I do have experience but I’m not understanding how that is relevant to my post?
Oh you need to run. Please.
YOU WON…a cookie!
I’m starting to think it would just be easier to break up with him.
I think you're right. No one has the authority to dictate which medication you use. Fuck this guy.
Wait so you fucked up and couldn't act right, drank to much and made a fool of yourself and you don't trust your boyfriend?
My advice would be for you it would be for your boyfriend. He should leave your ass.
It might be good to preemptively bring up to HR anyways. In case she doesn't take him not liking her well and tries make something up and go to them first.
Plenty of cases where men who have zero interest in actually being fathers see this situation as a great chance to have a woman stuck to them for the rest of her life. Absolutely not. If she wanted to keep the kid or was considering it, that would be different. She does not fucking want to have a kid with some random guy. There is no need to complicate his life by telling him “lol yeah I'm pregnant but I'm getting rid of it so….”
This – baby trapped!!
If he’s a good dad, he will manage when it’s his days with the kids but be prepared, no matter what route you go, he’s going to loath you for life, he’s just that kind of man … he’s already told you that’s who he is. Pls be careful
Best of luck!
I don't have a problem with updates. I give my parents updates. The first 24 hours of someone going missing is crucial. After that the chances of you being found alive go down as the minutes tick past. If you give loved ones updates, IF you are ever kidnapped at least they can inform authorities within the hour of you going missing with your last known whereabouts so you would have a better chance of being found alive.
If you're a person who never gives updates then I hope for the sale of your family you at least share your location. Cuz if you don't, I hope you never get kidnapped cuz it will be nude to find you alive after that.
Bro block her from all socials, so you can start to move forward with yourself. And then start concentrating on yourself, gym, books, meditation new hobbies, work whatever. Keep yourself busy so you can start the process of focusing on yourself and not her. Also block her number so she can’t text or call you, during your process; cause that will bring you back some steps. Good luck! Hope you figure it out!✌?
Oh wow. Talk about shallow….
Good for you. Definitely not life partner material.
Show me any evidence that she didn’t communicate that didn’t involve giving away her personal information. Show me evidence where he communicated passed the point of “I feel this, fix it” because that’s what he’s done.
Also you yourself said he wasn’t upfront about getting her to share her feelings. We was as cryptic about it he could get.
Show me evidence where she didn’t make an effort that didn’t violate her boundaries.
Also it said she stopped it when he tried to push it further. As in she felt it was going to far and wanted to stop. In what way is that playing games. It’s basic boundaries.
Show me where I shamed him for his feelings.
Show me what about my past I’m lying about.
And when I said you should be put in a hospital it was because you are making things up and acting incredibly delusional. Straight up making assumptions and projecting your life onto everyone else.
The way he feels love is his responsibility, he should either find someone who has the same love language or compromise. He is the only one taking issue with the lack of sex and has refused any other attempt to fix the issue on his girlfriend’s part. That is his fault. She doesn’t have to do anything she’s not comfortable with. There is no argument. If she doesn’t want sex she doesn’t have to. You saying otherwise directly ignores her boundaries and her consent.
He can fix the issue with the communication she has already given because as I myself and many others have already told you, she did communicate, she has made it clear that she doesn’t want sex at the moment. She can’t force it and you expecting her to do so is incredibly sexist, and just plain wrong.
Prove how I ever minimized him or his issue. I never did. I pointed out that he isn’t making any attempt to fix the issue other than try and convince her to have sex again. Because that’s what he is doing.
She doesn’t need to change who she is because there is nothing she can change. Forcing sex is incredibly dangerous especially for women. That’s is a fact. If a woman doesn’t want sex and has it anyway it can cause physical and emotional injuries. The fact you completely ignore this shows you don’t consider her safety or her health but gladly use his health as a point in topic.
I called you sexist because you are being sexist. Arguing that she needs to have sex with him because “boys need sex” like women don’t and like her boundaries don’t matter.
I said you need hospitalization because you are acting very irrational and making up random stuff and pretending like it’s reality.
How about you go back and read all the discussions again and bring evidence of the things you claim I said. Actual quotes with the link to the comment. Actual nude evidence
I lay to nap next to my dad fully clothed sometimes, and even some people don’t get how I can be so close to my parents. But this is a NO, RUN.
Do not call him.
He'll just end up talking you out of breaking up.
Text him, then block him. That's it. Done. End of story.
I don’t let my cat in the same room as something wiped down with Clorox wipes for like an hour+
Ghosting is normally bad but, in this case, this AH of a bf (should be ex) deserves it.
Have her use period pads in her shoes the pads will absorb the wetness and oder.
Ok, Pep talk time!!! You are WORTHY!!! Of a BETTER MAN!!! Repeat that!!! He is NOT worthy of YOU! Look what he just did. He proved it. He KNOWS you’re struggling with all of this, especially now that he knows and he’s going to do WHATEVER HE CAN TO KEEP YOU ON THE HOOK!!!
The next time he shows up, tell him he better have your stuff (luggage, etc) you’re making the decisions now. You’re keeping the cat, give you the key, find a roommate, move, do whatever you have to do, but take charge, but when you do, make sure it’s to end it. He’s already shown you who he is. You can’t “help or save him.” All you can do is turn your back on him. And girl, I KNOW it hurts, but the quicker you do it, the sooner you will heal!
You have to do this like ripping off a band aid. Make it quick, it’s less painful. Trust me. When he’s not there to remind you of his presence, it WILL FADE AWAY!!!
Ye don't respond.
Lol k is perfect
Then block and delete to slam the door shut.
Do your best to get away from this man. He's unhinged to do that shit. Not blaming you OP but it would be horrible of you to stay with someone romantically who did this.
I hope your friends and family can help you get back home somehow but you shouldn't be around him. He's honestly sick! Imagine if you had a younger sister could've just as well did this with her images or yours and then sent it to people.
No fuck that shit. He's disgusting
The problem here is your low self esteem. Perhaps she sees qualities in you that you don't realize you have. On the other hand, she was obviously raised in a well-to-do family, and grew up having affirming feedback on her appearance, brains, outlook on life, etc.
You never could really accept that her presence in your life had anything to do with who and what you were. And it seems obvious that she thinks more highly of you than you do of yourself, and it's no wonder why she's stepping back.
It's time that you do as she said, and do a careful examination of yourself, as well as your life choices (trying to identify why you made the choices). Shake yourself, and identify what kind of job you'd REALLY like to be doing, and one thing at a time, choose to try things that you've always thought were beyond your grasp. Achieving them will boost your self esteem, and you will begin to believe in yourself. She's not asking you for much.
I wish you well.
She was drunk She doesn't drink anymore She wanted to tell him but wasn't sure how or when She did eventually tell him without being forced to There is absolutely zero indication of 'more to the story' – as said before, you can keep your eyes open for it. If she says that's all of it, and it turns out it wasn't, well then there you go. Now you have reason to end it.
You're biased. Mentioning infidelity boards sounds like you hang around them yourself. To a hammer, everything is a nail.
You are far too quick to throw the baby out with the bathwater. People aren't perfect: If you try to make everyone wait for perfect, everyone will stay single the rest of their lives.
It is extremely likely that, if OP chooses to forgive, that that's the end of it and it never happens again and he has a great life. Throwing that away because of one drunken, instantly-regretted kiss, which she has learned from and changed her ways already, is kind of ridiculous.
Keeping an eye out to see if there is more to the story: Great, go for it. Assuming that there is, sight unseen, is bogus.
????? you need counseling….
I'm not a fan of doing that approach either, unfortunately it is my last resort.
One time we broke up, and we had a lease together. I moved out, and tried contacting my landlord explaining to them my situation. My boyfriend decided to then break the lease, threaten them and threaten to sue under no grounds. They no longer wanted to work with me and decided to send collections to me instead (understandable, my boyfriend was acting like a psycho). Collections didn't care about my situation, so I paid my half and like an idiot forgave him and signed another lease with him which is the one I have now. That is still on my record, forgiving him was my mistake I understand that.
Like I mentioned as well, I've tried to break up with him 3 times this year alone. Two of those times, we decided to just be roommates as he refused to leave and I didn't have the means to move anywhere else and deal with the lease I have already. That didn't last long as he made it absolutely insufferable to online with and at some times dangerous. He has gotten physical with me before, nothing too extreme but still. It was the SAFER option to just agree to get back together with him.