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I had my suspicions in numerous ways but I kept on giving him every benefit of doubt until one day he came home with a strange scent on him. I confronted him but he denied it. Then that same night i overheard him on phone with a lady. Well in the early hrs of the next day, i contacted a cyber expert who then helped me get into his phone discreetly by helping me link his phone to mine. I contacted him through 7074120028 or ( sphinx.Coderaven at Gee mail dot com ) I had access to all his chat even the ones he deleted. You don't have to think much over a cheating spouse or trying to catch fish him/her just get his phone cloned as I did it easy
Sounds like you've got a plan. Uni is a good start. All the best to you on the journey! ?
I’m sorry you’re getting hate over this. If you felt something was off then you had every right to confirm your suspicions. Personally I don’t get how a huge proportion of people on Reddit view their phones as some sort of sacrosanct device that their partner has no right to see and would think that your way of checking up on him was more inline with how those people would think. Guess I’m just an old fart.
Going forward is entirely up to you. To me, the trust would be broken and that’d be the end of it, but if you feel there’s something salvageable in there, then all power to you. At the very least I think you’d have to have an ‘open phone’ policy and some serious contrition and work on his part.
Good luck
First of all, what you said about women not being able to go through pregnancy because she can’t afford, isn’t ready or simply doesn’t want and that a man doesn’t have a choose if a women is pregnant is completely wrong, many times is the women that don’t have the choice of not having the kid, we hear so many stories of men that just bail once they get a girl pregnant, so they have more of a choice than women unfortunately.
I’m sorry you ended up with a child you didn’t want, but she’s here now… for 9 years already. BOTH of you had sex without protection, YOU also knew the risks, now that she’s here you’re fulfilling your responsibility by paying child support, her mom is raising her, which isn’t cheap and it’s a 24/7 job.
Get him out of there, call the police to remove him. Get the locks changed and tell someone where you're taking his stuff and to give him the message. Get a no contact order.
Also she’s 41 years old. Odds are she may have to take fertility treatments now just to get pregnant. Any woman over 35 is rolling the dice when trying to get pregnant at best. Worst case, the kid is usually born with more health conditions than most. Worst case, if she doesn’t let the sudden selfish fantasy go. A divorce lawyer would be a vital next move. Good luck
Lol right, someone else said it perfectly earlier, masturbation is not fake sex. Op needs to get over herself.
This is accurate.
And the reddit way.
She already did end the relationship?
I am bi. I choose my husband over relationships/sex with anyone else. I honestly believe that it’s the same as if I were just straight. I would choose him over anyone else. And that is not a selfish thing to want, to want someone to wants only you. You are unbelievably kind and understanding, you need to show him this and have that nude talk. I once brought up the idea that my husband could sleep with other women if I were allowed to (early on), and he said no, I respect him and love him so much and it doesn’t hurt me not to be with anyone else. I went into this relationship knowing who I was, so I cannot speak for your husband’s views, but you went into your marriage believing it was just the two of you and that needs to be said to him.
Is this a valid method of mentally taking control, and coping with a past abusive relationship, and the consequences of being wrongly accused of SA?
No. This is terrible. Good people don't do this.
Stop being creepy
I've dealt with this.
You will be hurt and angry because she's a liar with no morals and wherever you go, you'll never have anyone give you any reassurance. Women will tell you to get over it because it's her past blah blah.
Men will tell you to break up and stop talking to her forever and go to the gym/invest in stocks.
Depending on how long y'all have been together, you maybe could still keep in contact. But I recommend heavy punishments and breaking up.
You set a boundary that she did not respect and instead of being overwhelmingly sorry and taking accountability, she made it all about her mental state and a bunch of bullshit excuses. Anything to avoid admitting she's a shitty human being.
They could have Roth 401ks instead. I personally have a traditional and Roth 401k so some comes out pre tax and some post. Advantages to both.
You can quit but you won't work again.
If that’s what you want to do then do it. Do you need validation from us telling you to do it?
Obviously he’s wrong for not paying rent. He’s not playing his part. I would feel the exact same way as you.
thank you for such a sincere reply, I appreciate your honesty 🙁
Grow some balls, tell her to f**k off, go make your money and stack it up. Hit the gym, and that’s it. Women can be insecure but men can’t? Yeah no. Screw her. Find yourself a ride or die. When she is in her 40’s and still single cause she had soooo much fun while you found a beautiful woman, and your financial stable and healthy she’ll cry then. Leave her.