Not gona read all of that, look like you could talk for hours and hours about your problem. You are not forced to be with her and keep feeling that way. Something called “breaking up” exist. Stop dreaming about suddenly everything change and she become better.
To make sure you understand, Nobody and I mean NOBODY in the entire social work and foster care universe want to see a child, especially a little one who may have been traumatized by what just happened with mom, get into the hands of CPS aka “the system”. Getting kids OUT of the system is a reason many people become foster parents or respite care providers in the first place.
This is good advice. I'd only add feeling different feelings and not know what to think of them are pretty normal. I remember with my first kiss thinking up to it, how hard it would be but then the actual process of spit and things grossed me out for awhile. Now I just don't think about it, but that came with practice and things will likely change. There's also no pressure to like it too
She’s a married woman and needs to act like it. I’ve always said people in committed relationships should not be friends w the opposite sex unless both spouses are friends as a group. Married people should not go out alone w the opposite sex and females shouldn’t have male friends because nearly all men w female friends are either waiting for the chance. Or they talk to the woman little by little until they get comfortable together and end up doing something inappropriate. Once they get to that point just being together makes them get aroused to the point she says screw it and then commits physical infidelity.
In this case she met new friends including a single man. She goes on dates w him yet she says nothing has happened but when you want to meet he says no because he doesn’t want to get shot.
If they weren’t already having an affair he’d have no issues meeting you. All this together says she’s been having sex w him and maybe others. All signs point to infidelity and she doesn’t seem to care because she continues to see him & message him
I’m proud and happy for you that you made it out. I’m sorry that you went through that, it’s a very difficult thing to deal with.
You’re right and a part of me knows that, and appreciates the sentiment. I often just think I am not worthy of more. I have been conditioned to adapt to suffering and I’m trying so diligently to relearn how to exist.
My therapist has said that if she feels that she can no longer help me, she will help find someone better suited to help someone in an abusive situation because it can be a very difficult thing to counsel someone on given the levels of shit that goes on.
I think you underestimate jehovah witnesses religion. It's not like christianity or Judaism. Jehovah witnesses take it to the extreme, it checks off more than the required boxes to be considered a cult. They are forced into fear of jehovah at a very young age. While you may be just having sex, he believes that he is doomed for all eternity. If his church finds out he will not be allowed back in (usually). You guys are not compatible, and if you di still on planning to stay with him, you need to learn more about his religion, becuase it's not just religious beleifs
Your GF is 31 and she’s gone to see her sister. She’s staying in a hotel because of a cat allergy.
That’s fine there’s nothing unusual about that.
Your mother is dying. You’re staying with her.
There’s nothing unusual about that.
If your girlfriend is making you feel bad for her seeing her sister alone she’s gaslighting the fuck out of you. If she was worth the air she breaths she’d have told her sister she couldn’t go to see her this year because she wanted to be there for you.
So you’re upset that your girlfriend didn’t invite you to an event she knew you wouldn’t go to and wouldn’t like if you did, she didn’t invite anyone else and prefers to do this alone? Why do you have an issue with this? You’ve already explained the why if it in your post.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
Info: where has your mom been in all this if you're able to send her there now? I don't want to sound cruel but your sister should not have been your responsibility at any point – and especially not your finances. You also co-signed on a car for her? It sounds like you took on a significant amount of responsibility without including your fiance and she's fed up and burnt out. Please forgive any assumptions or information I'm overlooking.
In any case, your sister needs help and is vulnerable. I would make sure she was being cared for over my partner if I were in your shoes.
You are correct i am writing the original post from an emotional POV as prior to the break up i couldve wrote a nasty one.
I believe my situation is too complicated to help people understand through reddit.
However in essence, we grew to hate each other since we wished so hard each one would conform to the other’s lifestyle. Breaking up made us realize we both love each other but not as SO’s. I could’ve been more clear, but neither of us can conform or compromise without sacrificing a lot.
We are 21/22. We are babies. We were mature enough to know if we keep it up in 10 years we will wish we hadn’t wasted our lives and done what we wanted
Your fiancé posted in her journal about the ring to work through her feelings. That is a healthy thing to do.
You reading her journal is not healthy. And I would not tell her that I did it.
If she really has an issue with the ring today she would talk to you in her own time and her own way. And you need to make a clear decision with yourself to not read her private journal without permission again.
You are going to need to provide more context for anyone to give you any meaning advice. Often physical violence is a boundary that once crossed there is no going back.
I think the only thing you can do now is tell him you respect that he needs so time out and give him some space to figure out where his heads at.
I think if I did this and went home again my wife would be removing some important body parts. It's a fairly regular story though so what would I know.
Yeah that makes sense. I do eventually delete numbers of ppl I no longer talk to though, bc I hate accidentally calling ppl I haven’t spoken to in years lol.
In my younger days. I went on a lad's coach trip to another town. Met this woman, who I felt a strong connection with. When we left to go home. She gave me her number and told me to meet up. This was pre-cell phones. Well I rang the number and got her friend. She told me the woman was married with 2 kids. Her friend tried to ask me to come visit her for the weekend. So Husband's story could be true. But if I was you. I would tell your husband that you have invited her around for him to tell her the same story.
Is it going to make or break you financially? I think you definitely are risking both making things awkward and lowering the quality of the service you receive if you lowball them after you're the one who suggested the initial price.
Don't lowball your friends. You were happy with the price you suggested until you realized you might be able to find the same service a few bucks cheaper elsewhere. Would you likely get the same quality of service and priority going elsewhere though? You tend to get what you pay for, and you also tend to get extra priority and care when you're giving a friend business vs a stranger provided that goodwill hasn't been tarnished (lowball them and it will be). You're probably going to get your extra few bucks worth and then some for what it's worth.
Well firstly, if you want to stay in your current relationship you’ll definitely need to stop doing this…
Depending on how comfortable you were with him, you could have given him some funny comebacks to put him in to reality.
He's just playing games with you. Ignore him from now on.
break up with her in public so she doesnt poop on your floor lol
Yes, people tend to forget they need alone space more than they think. It enriches the partnership for sure.
What are you afraid of?
Not gona read all of that, look like you could talk for hours and hours about your problem. You are not forced to be with her and keep feeling that way. Something called “breaking up” exist. Stop dreaming about suddenly everything change and she become better.
Try to stop over thinking and drink less in the future. Maybe stop all together if you cant just keep a light buzz going.
To make sure you understand, Nobody and I mean NOBODY in the entire social work and foster care universe want to see a child, especially a little one who may have been traumatized by what just happened with mom, get into the hands of CPS aka “the system”. Getting kids OUT of the system is a reason many people become foster parents or respite care providers in the first place.
This is good advice. I'd only add feeling different feelings and not know what to think of them are pretty normal. I remember with my first kiss thinking up to it, how hard it would be but then the actual process of spit and things grossed me out for awhile. Now I just don't think about it, but that came with practice and things will likely change. There's also no pressure to like it too
She’s a married woman and needs to act like it. I’ve always said people in committed relationships should not be friends w the opposite sex unless both spouses are friends as a group. Married people should not go out alone w the opposite sex and females shouldn’t have male friends because nearly all men w female friends are either waiting for the chance. Or they talk to the woman little by little until they get comfortable together and end up doing something inappropriate. Once they get to that point just being together makes them get aroused to the point she says screw it and then commits physical infidelity.
In this case she met new friends including a single man. She goes on dates w him yet she says nothing has happened but when you want to meet he says no because he doesn’t want to get shot.
If they weren’t already having an affair he’d have no issues meeting you. All this together says she’s been having sex w him and maybe others. All signs point to infidelity and she doesn’t seem to care because she continues to see him & message him
I’m proud and happy for you that you made it out. I’m sorry that you went through that, it’s a very difficult thing to deal with.
You’re right and a part of me knows that, and appreciates the sentiment. I often just think I am not worthy of more. I have been conditioned to adapt to suffering and I’m trying so diligently to relearn how to exist.
My therapist has said that if she feels that she can no longer help me, she will help find someone better suited to help someone in an abusive situation because it can be a very difficult thing to counsel someone on given the levels of shit that goes on.
Thank you for being kind
I think you underestimate jehovah witnesses religion. It's not like christianity or Judaism. Jehovah witnesses take it to the extreme, it checks off more than the required boxes to be considered a cult. They are forced into fear of jehovah at a very young age. While you may be just having sex, he believes that he is doomed for all eternity. If his church finds out he will not be allowed back in (usually). You guys are not compatible, and if you di still on planning to stay with him, you need to learn more about his religion, becuase it's not just religious beleifs
Wow, she didn’t even hold onto that to use it in a big fight.
Woah hold up.
Your GF is 31 and she’s gone to see her sister. She’s staying in a hotel because of a cat allergy.
That’s fine there’s nothing unusual about that.
Your mother is dying. You’re staying with her.
There’s nothing unusual about that.
If your girlfriend is making you feel bad for her seeing her sister alone she’s gaslighting the fuck out of you. If she was worth the air she breaths she’d have told her sister she couldn’t go to see her this year because she wanted to be there for you.
Dude leave this manipulative gaslighting bitch
I’m curious what Jane’s real motivation was because it certainly wasn’t your well being or peace of mind.
im pretty sure it was to hurt my mom by hurting me
So you’re upset that your girlfriend didn’t invite you to an event she knew you wouldn’t go to and wouldn’t like if you did, she didn’t invite anyone else and prefers to do this alone? Why do you have an issue with this? You’ve already explained the why if it in your post.
I want to but I don't know exactly how to do it since it's been a long time and the password might be different but I'm going to check on it now
Hello /u/Glad-Form8967,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Info: where has your mom been in all this if you're able to send her there now? I don't want to sound cruel but your sister should not have been your responsibility at any point – and especially not your finances. You also co-signed on a car for her? It sounds like you took on a significant amount of responsibility without including your fiance and she's fed up and burnt out. Please forgive any assumptions or information I'm overlooking.
In any case, your sister needs help and is vulnerable. I would make sure she was being cared for over my partner if I were in your shoes.
You are correct i am writing the original post from an emotional POV as prior to the break up i couldve wrote a nasty one.
I believe my situation is too complicated to help people understand through reddit.
However in essence, we grew to hate each other since we wished so hard each one would conform to the other’s lifestyle. Breaking up made us realize we both love each other but not as SO’s. I could’ve been more clear, but neither of us can conform or compromise without sacrificing a lot.
We are 21/22. We are babies. We were mature enough to know if we keep it up in 10 years we will wish we hadn’t wasted our lives and done what we wanted
Your fiancé posted in her journal about the ring to work through her feelings. That is a healthy thing to do.
You reading her journal is not healthy. And I would not tell her that I did it.
If she really has an issue with the ring today she would talk to you in her own time and her own way. And you need to make a clear decision with yourself to not read her private journal without permission again.
He wants to sleep with other people. Give it to him and break up. Then he can sleep with whoever he wants.
He didnt want to do that, because he wouldnt be able to work full time
You are going to need to provide more context for anyone to give you any meaning advice. Often physical violence is a boundary that once crossed there is no going back.
I think the only thing you can do now is tell him you respect that he needs so time out and give him some space to figure out where his heads at.
Throw the whole damn dude away. ?️
“If something wasn’t, I know how to tell you”- great response-perfect assertive communication.
I strongly suggest therapy. How's your physical attraction to him?
I think if I did this and went home again my wife would be removing some important body parts. It's a fairly regular story though so what would I know.
Yeah, this, the way he did that was definitely him testing the boundaries of being controlling. ?
Right. The first thing i thought was, he's projecting
Yeah that makes sense. I do eventually delete numbers of ppl I no longer talk to though, bc I hate accidentally calling ppl I haven’t spoken to in years lol.
If a sister or female friend came to you with the same story, what would you advise them to do.
Women commit domestic violence nearly as often as men, and neither are excusable.
In my younger days. I went on a lad's coach trip to another town. Met this woman, who I felt a strong connection with. When we left to go home. She gave me her number and told me to meet up. This was pre-cell phones. Well I rang the number and got her friend. She told me the woman was married with 2 kids. Her friend tried to ask me to come visit her for the weekend. So Husband's story could be true. But if I was you. I would tell your husband that you have invited her around for him to tell her the same story.
He's not willing to marry you no matter what, though.
Is it going to make or break you financially? I think you definitely are risking both making things awkward and lowering the quality of the service you receive if you lowball them after you're the one who suggested the initial price.
Don't lowball your friends. You were happy with the price you suggested until you realized you might be able to find the same service a few bucks cheaper elsewhere. Would you likely get the same quality of service and priority going elsewhere though? You tend to get what you pay for, and you also tend to get extra priority and care when you're giving a friend business vs a stranger provided that goodwill hasn't been tarnished (lowball them and it will be). You're probably going to get your extra few bucks worth and then some for what it's worth.