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I feel like you are speaking from a biased point of view, and are judging a pretty big group of people based on those biases. I hope you grow past that.
Have a nice day
It's naked to tell if she's playing with you or if she's struggling with difficult feelings and navigating them in a way that's least hurtful to you and doing a shit job. Either way, you don't owe her staying around if it's hurtful. If you want more from her than she's willing to give you, walk away. If you're looking for something serious, this ain't it chief. You had a couple good dates and that's nice, but she's clearly not interested in a longer term thing, at least not with you. Take the hint and let it be.
NP, I'm probably wrong and I really hope I am but its sometimes insane the power that abusive assholes can hold over the people they abused even years later. It seems that the abused ex is always holding out hope that the good person they fell in love with is still in there somewhere without reazling that the good person never existed, they just hide who they really are until they established control.
Hey man I’ve been in your shoes. Nine years later I was left more destroyed than I ever could have imagined by a woman who simply could NOT communicate with me when she felt bad. Weeks of silence was not out of the ordinary. Leaving for work with everything fine, then coming home to a stranger who won’t look at you, became normal.
Now, maybe this was a one off event for your gf.
The thing is, you need to make absolutely clear how damaging and hurtful this was. Give her things she can do to communicate even if she needs space, etc, and list your boundaries. I can’t say what your boundaries should be, but if I could go back in time, my boundaries would be to give an hour or two tops for someone to cook off enough before they NEED to say something to you. Anything more than that and I should’ve left and never came back
Hello OP You must be true to yourself. We are internet stranger and will not know the whole truth. But I my humble experience
1) an EX should remain an EX ( shared memories are catalyst for acts)
2) the length of the relationship has nothing to do with its commitments
3) even if you are really unable to help him, doesn’t mean that he will see it this way. Ex has scored and you are not even. You trust your BF but do you trust the EX.
4) communication is key. You feel bad about the situation and you should. In an exclusive relationships ( LTR) We should avoid any situation that can comprise your mutual trust. This you have to tell your BF how you fell about it. Be pro active don’t build resentment and wait thing to escalate as it will be too late afterwards
In any relationship you have to check for
A) love
B) faithfulness
C) respect
D) Sex
E) support
you are looking for B) and he was looking for E)
speak OP , engage your SO
This isn't an affair. She's an adult and deserves to feel love and be in a relationship like every other human being. Leave her alone. She isn't doing anything bad or abnormal
Bro . . . She has a colleague there that she doesn't want sweing her with you. She either didnt tell him she has a boyfriend or he knows and she doesn't want him to see her with you. Pretty obvious. Sorry you're finsingput this way. But I can almost guarantee this is the case.
It's been 3 years… This isn't something that is going to change. So, you've got to decide if it's a deal breaker or not
Ive had this once, i was getting paranoid and then apparntly i thought someone from my group called me and said he was going to stab me to death so i kept screaming at people to stay away from me until people finally got me to calm down. It was like a waking nightmare.
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I don't know who in their right mind would be turned on after hearing about a traumatic experience. Your boyfriend doesn't care about your feelings, he just wants sex. Some people hide their toxicity well, he might seem nice but he could totally be an asshole who lack empathy. Find someone better that will understand your feelings. He is just a boy, not a man. There are many more out there that deserves you.
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She's into it.
You want to meet twice in a week? ?? Let me think about it
I wouldn't push someone to go on a date at a different time than they said was available. Since she wasn't expecting you to ask her to be available two days, she has to see if her schedule can work for that.
☺️ and text you tomorrow
She's reassuring you everything is still good, and can't wait to talk to you again
My comment was not meant to blame the OP at all, I was just stating what many people know: that such changes can break a person, it's nobody's fault if that happens it's just a sad reality that it often does
Most colleges and universities have one available for students. Additionally, many schools have the fee already covered by your tuition. However, don't let me push you into it if it's not something that you want to do for yourself. I just absolutely love lifting.
I stopped reading when I got to. I start getting close to a colleague. It is why that emotional boundaries need to be set up around people that you could date. They become emotional affairs where the intimacy that goes into your relationship is going to another person. I don’t have anything to say to you because I’ve read this so much on Reddit. Stop doing what you’re doing. This is a really a moral and a character issue with you. If you don’t want to be with your boyfriend break up with him let him go and do a little damage to his life as you can.
Good luck with your master degree! Idk if I'm sensitive or not, I've been receiving mixed feedbacks on that. Depends on where I am mentally… the breakup made me realize I'm very adaptable/resilient at cost of ignoring my alarm bells on stuff I'm most sensitive on idk
Dude, you're young and I remember what it's like to have gf as a teen. I don't agree with her pity party even though I'm sure it's a lot more potent irl than through a reddit post of ppl I've never met, but I also know that everyone fucks up and that's okay. Yes, this is a really, really weird fuck up but it's still just a fuck up nonetheless. Am I cutting her some more slack bc of sexist premonitions regarding feminine infantilization than I would if the roles were reversed you told your family about the appearance of her labia? Absolutely, and so are you by trying to comfort her. Ultimately I think your best course of action is to talk to her about and tell her that it made you feel very betrayed and that if things between you two are to continue, that she needs to respect your boundaries. If you can't trust her to respect you then your love for one another means little. Human beings fuck up all the time, good partners only fuck up once. Don't listen to everyone saying “run”, if she's otherwise been a solid gf then there's good reason to hold on to that. These people haven't met either one of you and have no idea what they're talking ab. Only you can decide what's best for your own self respect and the trust you have in the relationship.
You're welcome, friend.
I hope it works out for you 🙂
It is very interesting about the Snapchat name, though …. something is fishy.
Glad you are all clear with your health. Good luck navigating this situation.
You’re pleasing mind games and throwing tests at him and non verbal messages trying to get a reaction out of him.
Save yourself the trouble and just tell him it’s over.
Despite all my rage I am still just a cock in a cage…or whatever Smashing Pumpkins said.
Done. Her mom told me that she’s bawling her eyes out right now but that she deserves it and doesn’t blame me for leaving her.
Yes. He IS in the wrong. There’s no debate there. BUT if THIS is the hill she wants to die on she would be better off single or with someone else.
Yes if you were a minor yourself. Or close in age. It's normal for a 13 year old to be attracted to other 13 year olds … It's creepy af when a full blown adult is into 13 year olds. So yes whether you are or aren't a minor yourself will always matter. And before you ask, no I don't see a problem with 17 and 18 even if one is technically a minor because the difference is a literal year only. .
My mind automatically went to “he’s having someone else use it”
But that’s just me
Well I guess that depends. Would you like to spend the rest of your life with someone who will squander your money and lie about it?!
For me it's an absolute no brainer. Break up immediately, set up a repayment plan and take her to small claims court if she doesn't agree.
But then lying is really a deal breaker for me. As is a total lack of respect from my partner.
Up to you, but I'd never be able to trust her again.
I hear you. You may have outgrown the relationship and that's okay. Ideally, you taught her these things so that she could be more independent.
Because you’ll be eating it in the dark now?
That money will always be itching her brain.
It is fair to be worried about one side of the relationship having all the power. That said, there are tenant laws in most places that barr this from happening.
He stays because it's convenient. People tend to take the path of least resistance. He has overspend his budget and is now trying to make you make up the difference.
You should have a conversation with him and show him paper documentation of the difference in your incomes. Ask him if it's really fair to split costs 50/50. If he still does, then he doesn't care/ doesn't get it. This is unsustainable.
I hope he will listen to reason, but the length of time you have been together is not indicative of relationship success.
Yes she will most likely. She will be embarrassed to show a crappy ring to her Rich family and friends. They will mostly talk negative about it. That will bring her pain. This should not happen but it will. The parents sound nice and supportive. I would do my part and buy the nice ring if she is a good person. Pull up to a party at a rich person's house driving a Yugo and see what people say. Not saying that judgment is right but it does happen. I could care less but I am sure she will care and her family will care. Just my perspective.