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…yeah I dont see that working out.
Thank you ! I find this odd the whole thing He knew she had a child What did he think would come with this? All the privacy No I mean your a step dad now Shouldn’t have got involved then
I think too many people in here are fantasizing about their ex crawling back and shutting them down like OP's ex did, honestly. I don't get it either. Unless my ex was truly horrific and abusive I don't think I'd say something like this to him. Probably a bit more ilke “I'm so sorry that happened, but I do not want to keep speaking with you. I'm wishing you the best”
someone who knowingly causes damage to someone, faults that person for the damage they caused, and then dumps them because of it….naw, doubt he is even able to feel regret, you're better off without him anyway
Well, yeah. I would also reconsider my relationship if my partner couldn’t prioritize helping me in medical emergency, but I don’t agree that OP should just get over/swallow the fact he called his ex and stayed with her. She absolutely can say thats a deal breaker and break up with him. Actually considering the background that his ex was his longest relationship, that they live! a block from each other and that he called her to support him in a vulnerable state she really should do it.
This cant be real. Like if he is serious u should not be having a baby with him. End it now. He will only get worse. Why tf would his nana be there what the fuck hes not in labor u r.
It's really a solid concern.
And the move alone train is getting ready to leave the station.
Wow honestly I would be hesitant in tying myself down to this guy. Look you guys have only been together 2 months and you're not in the same city, It'd be easier to cut your losses now. He doesnt sound like someone who is financially viable especially as you are alreadt working hot to be financially stable.
Have you ever helped him financially? Honestly if he isnt going to stop helping his ex, I would really consider the relationship
is this? romantic?
When my boyfriend thought i was being too much of a homebody, he invited me out to try one of his hobbbies. He also compliments me and praises me when I work on different art projects. I think you attract more bees with honey. The punishment technique is pretty shitty.
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What do you mean without a second thought? He didn’t believe her until she provided evidence, he didn’t kick her out until several weeks after he found out, when – again – he’d be given what he understood to be evidence of his wife’s infidelity. Filed for divorce and then started sleeping with other people.
If dude had posted this situation on Reddit every single one of you would have told him OP is cheating. This place is ridiculous,
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Tell him that you don't care if they were co-workers or not and that these are very reasonable requests. If he still doesn't budge. Then you know the rest.
Not everyone sexualizes nudity. Since it seems like you do, tell her that to you nudity is sexual, personal and private. That you can’t separate one feeling from the other so you can’t imagine yourself ever being comfortable with that and is there any concession she can make for you that preserves your special moments with her hot body for you alone.
While a bikini is six square inches from being very hot it doesn’t make complete sense but in America we are programmed to think a covered female nipple is appropriate but seeing even the hint of areole is sexual.
Other people hot has never been an issue for me but my nakedness has always been preserved for intimacy, likely due to personal insecurities about my appearance. In reality I can’t imagine anyone but my wife getting excited by my naked body but that’s how I feel about it so I don’t do it.
Counseling might help you separate your discomfort from thoughts of infidelity. It might also help you learn to trust her to be able to do an effective risk assessment (women are way better at that than men most of the time) and believe she saves her intimate feelings for you while still not sexualizing her own or others nudity.
Dude your girlfriend is the enabler /problem. There are lots of other people she can play D&D with and find others you can both play.
I think moving forward it's important for her to own up responsibility. Does she care more about an emotional affair instead of repairing the relationship? Ask her that. Are you able to forgive her?
I don’t know how you’re defining demisexual, but my understanding is that it means you don’t feel attraction until there’s a close bond, not that you’re incapable of forming new bonds once you’ve imprinted on your first love. You’re not a penguin.
Yeah definitely don't do this unless you want to be an absolute psycho and tank your marriage over nothing (yet).
I think she is just looking for some friends. The fact that she bought a present for your son and wants to have play dates including your wife sounds like she might be lonely and is hoping to expand her friend circle. You are all of similar ages. I would encourage your wife to be more friendly with her. It seems innocent.
You are not being paranoid, this is all extremely creepy and gross.
Do not meet up with him, do not get in a vehicle with him, do not tell him your address or where you work.
Document his creepy messages (screenshots, dates, times, etc.) and your telling him to stop it – you will need this if you need to go to the police about it – and then block him.
Bruh, its never overkill.
Just go for it if she is into that kind of stuff.
Bare in mind though, you need to maintain a level of effort similar to this throughout your reletionship.
Don't be that guy who does everything he can to win someone over, just to put a full stop once you two are secure.
Better to overkill, than to be someone who doesn't go out of their way to make their partner feel special.
Stuff like this is hot to come by these days. Keep it up and you will have a phenomenal reletionship.
I don't think I did get over my ex, but I was able to forget her for awhile. There's part of me that always thought I made a mistake, but I did it to make myself “happy” and after having sex and appreciating someone else who is willing to love me, I still want to get back with my ex. I think I'd rather take those issues and how I felt compared to how empty I feel now.
Ummm, he said that Linda is “dumb and he can always beat her TOO”. So he’s calling OP dumb, and that he can tell what sign she’s going to flash or whatever cuz he’s “not dumb”.
Bro it’s done. You are 20, you are so young. Don’t waste your early years on someone who cheated on you. Do what everyone else suggests – block her, move on, hit the gym/get fit and move on to someone better
I got pregnant using both condoms and hormonal birth control. It happens.
If how you treat me is how you treated your ex girlfriend, I can understand why she went no-contact with you.
Don't look at like “giving up.” Think of it more as “ending a trial period.”
If you're happy with how things are going keep on keeping on, but I can't imagine how many green flags it must take to balance out that giant red one.
Up the Bum, no babies ~ socrates
So I'm getting that this is just bait to get more people on your profile. Fuck off.
She also suggested therapy but i didn't see the need for it at the time.
Ouch. Nothing you can do. You made your choices. She made her choices. Life's unfair. Gonna move on, guy.
Looks like he's lying.
From what I read, it sounds like your boyfriend has some weird expectations about emotions and is trying to push you into having emotions he think you should have about varies things? He does not seem to understand that people are not cookie cutters of each other, and therefore not everyone reacts exactly the same. Also, his tests are very childish to say the least. Usually when I see posts about these kind of tests, they are about couples in their late teens, not early thirties. Do you want to be in a relationship where you are “tested” all the time, and nagged because you are far less dramatic in reactions than he expects?
I do agree that he’s insecure and you seem to have outgrown him. The only thing I’m wondering is if you’re making time to do things together? Are you still doing things as a couple? It’s great that you’re bettering yourself but I could understand why someone would feel kinda hurt if you’re always at the gym/gone/focused on work etc.
You shit the bed twice. Once on accident and the second on purpose. I suggest you learn how to keep your shitty jokes in.
Find a flatmate
You and she need to have a talk about being forthright and straight with each other. If she's a people-pleaser than you'll need to account for that behaviour with extra clarity.
Seems like a one way street. I'm gonna have to say no.
Ok so first of all, take a deep breath and slowly exhale…
Now, I agree with you that this all seems pretty suspicious. At the same time, a lot of what you mentioned is speculation, and while that might lead to certain conclusions it doesn't mean those conclusions are correct, not yet anyway.
So right now, you need to try your best to look at the facts. The feelings you're having probably won't assist with this, but we know for sure facts will help in this situation. I know it's difficult, but you need to try to set your emotions aside for right now, just long enough to do your investigative work yk? So let's look at the facts…
-Your wife needed a job.
-Your wife went to a wedding alone in December (bc you could not go).
-Your wife ran into an ex-friend of yours at the wedding, and she did not mention it to you.
-Your ex-friend cheated on a previous gf.
-Your ex-friend's cheating caused a lot of issues within your previous friend group, and your wife is aware of that.
-Your wife & your ex-friend have had some communication on Linkedin.
-Your wife now works with your ex-friend.
-Your wife did not mention any communication with your ex-friend or that she now works with him until you asked her about it, to which she at first said she wasn't sure if she works with him but later admitted to working with him(and communicating with him).
-Your wife was out late one night, and when you woke up the next morning she was hot on the couch, asleep.
Ok so those are your facts so far. Read over these a few times to kind of calm your emotions a bit and get into an objective pov. I can feel where you're going with this and the connections you're making here, BUT we don't KNOW that those are accurate. What you need now is more information, more facts. You made a good point in your post about how if she ran into him in December, and he didn't contact her about a job until January, why did she not tell you she ran into him the night after the wedding? Her reasoning for not telling you was she thought you'd be upset, but how could you be upset for her simply running into an old friend of yours? I would ask her about this, see if she can give you a logical explanation. Ask questions until your doubts subside, and if they don't subside then you eventually need to be open with her & tell her you're concerned she's kept all this from you for a reason.
if you keep pressuring him to participate in YOUR kink, that he has rejected multiple times, yes it will hurt your relationship
I can’t really pinpoint, I do help out whenever I can or whenever I think things need to be done
Missing info: where is OP living now? Is there any reason that she and BF can’t get a place within reasonable distance of mom, where she can continue her care?
I didn’t want it to be too long of a read but I shall
yeah… I think i blocked him to make him understand that this issue is important for me because just talking to him didn't work
If she is sending you emails then she is ok – she is where she wants to be doing what she wants to be doing. She will re-emerge sometime over the next few days and will give you an explanation of what happened. This is the point where you listen very carefully and see if you can work out what really happened. Because she didn't really lose her phone…..
I think he wants to be the smartest and special guy. He keeps justifying his actions even though he told me he knew saying things like that was ignorant. I will consider ending this relationship, but it’s difficult to leave someone you like :’(
They are mutually exclusive? Strange.
So far she’s been supporting her family. Paying for herself isn’t the problem.
I’m an adult with night terrors! I’ve asked a doctor and a therapist about them, and basically, if they’re not interfering with your regular life, you don’t need to do anything about them. They’re not fun, but they’re not harmful.
It sounds, though, like they are affecting his regular life, so he should mention it to his doctor.
But you're in the process of getting divorced and she knows that, correct?
Is her friend your coworker? Why is this friend telling you so much?
He sounds like he depressed. I would say he feels miserable in his job and what he is doing and doesn't feel like a man. try and talk to him again about his feelings.
She is manipulative and abusive and the pillow incident is absolutely unforgivable. People like this don’t change. A wife/ partner does not treat their spouse like this, it’s not normal. Even if you have difficulties with family it’s still not normal by any stretch. There is someone out there that will treat you way better. I know it sounds harsh but I would put it down as a mistake and leave her and move on. Do not have kids with her it will be a disaster.