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Read the first sentence and all I see if built up resentment coming from you and her. Resentment is one of the most common and overlooked reasons for relationships ending. “He did this, she did that, he never listened, she nagged” Annoyance turns into resentment and resentment turns into not caring.
Also if you need time for yourself to destress after work, it’s ok to tell her you don’t have space for that right now. Allow yourself that time to destress, bc anything work related can also play into your emotions of the conversation you’ll be having, and what if you had a shitty ass day? It’s ok to say you don’t have space for This right.
Everyone has a past he needs to get over himself it’s the future that matters
One of the best minded comments in the thread, why is the only option for so many that he wants to hurt the kid?
Seems to me like a future project with OP to have a place for kids in the future place they get, maybe to get the kid over for a couple of days and likely later fill it with one of their own. No pressure, no hurry, just nice couple project for life.
Any chance of you getting lucky and them getting turned away at the border as a potential threat to overstaying their visa?
Run. I've said it all
Imo, if he really loved you and cared about you, this would not be a thought in his mind. He would know doing this would jeopardize your relationship and that he could lose you, yet he did it anyway. At least for me that is a dealbreaker. And you had a hunch it seems that something was off and you were right. I think you are young and have the whole world ahead, please don’t go back to him. If you do, you’ll now have the trust completely broken and be scared every time he’s on his phone and it’s not going to go well for your mental health 🙁
Lmao yes it's just your boyfriend and his family. (Probably not, but definitely weird lol) I mean as long as they're not pissing in front of the general public I'd say it's fine?
I am an anxious person and one thing I learned over the years is that the friends who don’t have anxiety were totally relaxed about where their husband was and what time he would come home. Eventually, the light bulb went on: I am an anxious person and like to feel like I have things certain or controlled to lessen my anxiety. Also, when I nagged my husband to check in or call if he was going to be later than he said, it really irked him and he ignored me. Eventually, I realized it was my issue and one of the thousands of ways my anxiety manifests so I worked on it. I would say if you SO is going out with friends he probably doesn’t know exactly when he’ll be home. Maybe try to moderate the anxiety? I know I finally decided that coming home within time of the bar closing, for instance, would be normal. If It were 3am and he wasn’t home it would be reasonable to call or text him. But otherwise, I would just let him enjoy his night, friends, freedom and I would distract myself and go to bed when I normally do. He always came home. I think it cut out some of the friction between us.
My ex boyfriend did something similar to thing towards the end of our relationship. I personally do not like the use of porn. I believe it’s sets very unrealistic expectations of what sex is, and I don’t like the idea of my boyfriend masturbating to another woman. I also send plenty of pictures/videos to him that he can watch if he wants to relieve some tension when I’m not there. My ex would often watch porn while I was home, like you mentioned. I would ask myself why he would choose to do so when sex with me was often available. It made me feel so self conscious and I lost a lot of my self esteem because he would often masturbate to women that looked nothing like me. Eventually I confronted him about it and he admitted that I’m not his type and they he wasn’t all that attracted to me anymore. Unfortunately I have a few friend that this has happened to as well, I believe it is all to common. After hearing what he told me I lost pretty much all feeling towards him. I think it wouldn’t be a bad thing to consider asking him is he is still attracted to you or if he can only get it up to porn now. How he answers the question or if he beats around the push might give you the answer you’re looking for
he is a man-child who gets defensive about not having crusty shit around his butthole. even children listen better and eventually learn. pleaseeeeeee have some self respect and dump him
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Regardless of political views, it’s sounds like he isn’t very nice to you.
I don’t see this staying relationship wise and he has let his political views get in the way of how he treats you.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this.
Well, it sounds like a) she wanted the break and b) she wants different behaviour from you. Getting back together is about HER needs. So I would ask her “you were the one that wanted this break. If it is up to me, we het back together now. But I know you want me to work on myself and change behaviour before we do that. So what exact goals do you want me to meet? Because I don't really know what you need regards to that”.
And if she can't set up goals with you, you will be in the dark forever. So then I would just break up and work on your own mental health and life on your own. You can always get back together again, but at least you know the rules then. Now you are in a weird break up. Did you even spoke about whether you can date others or not in the meantime? Or what other rules do or don't exist?
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Well if it's clit simulation that gets you off do it while having sex. One thing I love is the tiny clit vibrators while having sex, it's fantastic. Between the penetrative sex and the clit vibration I not only orgasm quickly but get multiples.
At the same time to if she really is done with me I just wonder why she hasn’t left me ?
He played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. Don't feel bad about it.
The issue is she knows anyway because I come home later after uni and she doesn't believe my excuses anymore. On Thursday I told her I'm going to a shopping mall with a female friend and when I came home dad said she asked him to drive her to this mall “because she wanted to look at suitcases”. Then she also joked about putting a GPS in me
It's kind of a weird question. It's like you're still.in denial that he just wanted a relationship vs you wanted a serious relationship.
If you're only interested in serious dating (dating either the hopeful intent of marriage or permanent commitment someday) , then you need to be upfront with that.
I guess in my case, I'm lucky cause I'm married to another know-it-all who likes to learn. Neither of us get upset – we just fact check each other ? Maybe that's the answer – find yourself another know it all!
have it delete your messages when you leave
Literally. His dad is having a normal reaction to a inappropriate shitty joke.
So you were so scared that she would think you lied on your profile, that you lied to her?
Oh I missed that part
Yikes
I was struggling to find real motive here, but I think you've got the best theory. Cheers.
He’s not. This is a pretty clear “I’m paying and expect sex” situation. Or the content he wants to shoot is NSFW.
If you cannot afford to go on your own or in your own room, don’t go.
Don't buy guns for people who can't get them legally on their own. Especially don't buy guns for people who THROW THINGS AND HAVE TANTRUMS WHEN YOU SAY NO TO BUYING THEM A GUN.
Okay, yeah that's rough. It does take a village and it seems not many people have that. But even little bits at a time might help.
I would hope you could have a conversation about the stresses you are both under so you both can feel heard, and maybe brainstorm solutions together.
Might be time to open up to some friends and family about needing more help/support, or to try to make some new connections.
If you both feel like you are drowning and not much can help with your current schedules and situation, maybe you could even consider making some changes to work or location, even if it takes some patience and some digging. Or make a plan to work towards some changes so it feels like the strain now will lead to some payoff and ease later. Where there's a problem there is bound to be a solution, even if it's not in the most obvious place.
Sounds like chef is your profession or hobby so how about watching YouTube videos together.
Or ask to do it 1/2 the time like take turns.
Oh you must really love her.
As for the female side it’s got to be one of these things
She doesn’t want to clean the mess you make while cooking. She doesn’t want to make you work if your a working chef She is trying to learn without your help She is trying to claim her domestic roll What you are cooking is too expensive
Nobody can answer this since you didn’t give any useful information about the relationship and why she broke up with you
Thank you for the great idea!!!
People still change their relationship on facebook ? are you sure your not 18 an this isn't 2008
Run.
I don't feel any way about it, I think it's just consideration. He would do the same.
the defensive-ness of this thread makes me believe that there's more to this story. Sorry!
There may be a bit of repetition compulsion in you selecting him as your first boyfriend. That's when a person unconsciously puts themself in traumatizing situations because they feel familiar. A therapist can help you with this.
Yes what he did is disgusting, and yes you were right to leave him cold.
I hope you come to like yourself better and make better choices in the future.
What the fuck is wrong with you
Thank you!
Is there a specific branch os psychology that deals with trauma, relationships, insecurities, confidence, etc?
I'm not sure what type of professional I should be looking for. I'm not sure what the most suited psychotherepeutical approach would be for my case. and I also don't know where to start looking for that answer haha.
When Harry Met Sally, amended rule:
Sally Albright : I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry Burns : When did I say that?
Sally Albright : On the ride to New York.
Harry Burns : No, no, no, I never said that… Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can… This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted… That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say “No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship,” the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.
Dude you came here. Clearly you need help lmao
She shoves this woman’s head. It’s too much. I would be on board if she weren’t so rude to this woman, and she sited him telling her to be quiet as her issue…but it seems like this to her was him cheating to her, followed by screaming and crying, which is actually insane. Too much.
She shoves this woman’s head. It’s too much. I would be on board if she weren’t so rude to this woman, and she sited him telling her to be quiet as her issue…but it seems like this was him cheating to her, followed by screaming and crying, which is actually insane. Too much.
It was the only she ever hit like that. I don't ever hit her either I just pin her
I’m not against how it’ll look. I actually think it’ll be cute. I’m mostly just hesitant about the actual process.
Yes tell her. Trust me it will make things significantly easier for yourself and your partner. What your friend went threw was absolutely horrible and the girl is a piece of shit but trust me when I say your first time is high on emotions and it’s always best to have a more experienced partner guide you through the motions. It will also make it bette for her to understand how important this is for you as well.
No
No
And no
He promised that he want to be with me and take care of me. He wants to do everything with me. It is not like I want a boyfriend anyway in the first place.
I just gave him the 'chance' like, why not?
You need to learn to communicate with each other better. I can't tell you what's going through his mind or why he does what he does. Relationships with good communication don't even have “big arguments”, because you can speak openly with each other about how you feel and then there's no need to argue.
You need to figure out what you both want. Is him watching porn a problem for you? If so why? Why does he turn to it when he's upset but not otherwise? If you want to know why he doesn't want a threesome, you have to ask him and have a conversation about it. Maybe have a deeper talk about your sexual fantasies and desires. If you can't have such an open and honest conversation about that with someone you've been with for two years, that's not a great position to be in for either of you. Keeping secrets from each other will only put distance between you both.
Sometimes the things we need the most out of this life feel the hardest. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. He knows that and makes sure you feel so little about yourself that you wouldn’t dare have the confidence to leave him. Alcohol didn’t make him treat you like a punching bag, his personality and lower inhibitions made him do that. He is still the same person who treated you like shit before. You can’t pretend he isn’t.
You deserve to take care of yourself. Even if it’s scary. I promise you, once you’re free, you’ll look back and wonder why you didn’t leave sooner. You will have so much more happiness that you won’t be able to fathom why you felt this path was ever meant for you.
It sounds like the “relative” is indeed his other girlfriend.
Who may, or may not, have even been a LDR that even preceded you.
No-one has secret midnight bathroom chats and lies to their spouse about them being a colleague.
His lack of communication with any family – and then having a mysterious relation he who suddenly has constant phone contact & who he lies about you, to – really only points in one direction.
Honestly – sorry op. You guys being married after less than a year of knowing each other, and far less than thankyou actually knowing each other in-person….? It sounds kinda bonkers because it kinda is.
But even if there miraculously is a benign explanation – no-one deserves this clear disrespect, lies and shadiness. You do deserve better.