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Do you want to stay with her and not go overseas? So can regret it the rest of your life if you stay with her or not.
I know 2 couples who married young and are still together. It happens, it's just rare.
But indeed this is also one way for me to reflect on what happened.
She has a history of sleeping with taken men, two of which of were yours and he thinks your concerns are no big deal? Fuck that noise. Either he is going to cheat with or has already done so. How naive is he to not see she is a pick me type who only wants taken men because she believes it makes her top dog? He is an asshole and I'd drawn the line over this.
Without knowing much about you or her, it's possible she was trying to give you real serious advice and didn't love that you made a joke out of it. And/or thought the joke was crude. She is right in what she says though – I am a chronic over-thinker as well, and it can be so tough.
If I were you, if you still don't hear from her in a day or two I would send a message somewhat along the lines of: “hey, I was trying to be funny in our last convo but I think maybe my joke didn't pan out. I do really appreciate the advice you were giving me, I am taking it seriously and I hope we can continue talking and pick up where we left off. If not, just let me know”
If she still ghosts you, then that just shows a lack of emotional maturity on her part. She at least owes you an explanation.
U will find someone don't lose hope at the very least he was honest with you
THAT IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT. On your last year YOU ARE ASKED if you want to extend the contract. My brother was asked like 4x if he wanted to. You are asked in the beginning of your last year, middle, towards the end, and when you literally have weeks until you complete your commitment.
Your guy WANTED TO EXTEND THE CONTRACT, BUT is blaming the military ? to cover his “desires”. OP, YOUR FIANCÉE is a piece of ?. He is a manipulative a-hole. I DONT TRUST HIM AT ALL.
Tell him Sayonara. And be with someone who is TRANSPARENT WITH YOU.
PLEASE see a therapist, I think you have a taste of men that are manipulative borderline narcissistic.
Doesn’t seem like this is a good fit. Your professional responsibilities and lifestyle are not compatible with her. She isn’t adapting and there’s nothing you can do.
We're still friends, and im fine with that, i just found myself to be interested in her situation, since coming from the place i live! there aren't a lot of girls like her, it's all just my curiosity.
But that wouldn’t be from a second country, just a second passport from the same country
It was years ago and it's not like he's been constantly doing it, bit of an overreaction you could find a lot more worse stuff about your partner
This is the right answer, but don’t make into a big thing. If she doesn’t want to divert to your child, you don’t give anything to hers simple as that. You are both responsible for your own child.
Please ghost him. Then go live! your best life.
Please ghost him. Then go live! your best life.
Been together for almost 3 years hmmmmmmmm?
Chris Hansen has entered the chat
I think he admitted that because he wouldn’t do anything like that. He still loves me and I know he wouldn’t do anything like that. He just impulsively said that and he told me about that honestly. It hurts but I trust 100%. I know he wouldn’t ever download a dating app like that because he is that type of person. He just was ranting and he told me everything because he said himself it was not right of him.
This comment is so spot on. OP hopefully saw this this.
No, this is the reality of these kinds of abusive relationships ; what can I get away with behind closed doors and what can I do to inflict pain on the person carrying our child.
There is no reason for a grown ass adult to throw something at another adult. There is no reason to storm off and give the silent treatment after doing so. None of this is normal or ok.
Based on OP’s responses to everyone else, it’s very likely bait. However, like you said, it’s not unheard of for someone that’s OP’s age to not have “figured it out” yet.
In the off chance that it’s genuine, OP seems like they just want confirmation that they are right so that they don’t feel as bad about the situation.
You're talking like you've done something wrong …when in fact it's your mother…..she's just not interested….you don't need to cut her but you should move on and enjoy your life without any expectations of effort from her….some people are just not cut out for it ..
We were smitten and my lease was ending… it just made a lot of sense at the time. I think I’m going to take a year off dating, start back up in 2024 but I’ll make sure to give it more time to be so serious.
Thank you.
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This is a long one, my apologies
My gf and I met in highschool and started dating when we were 15 and 16. At the time I had only been in one relationship and it wasn't super serious. In highschool I was not a very good looking kid. I was chubby and had a very high pitched voice. I was a late developer if you will. Either way this meant my options were limited for girls and when my gf showed any amount of romantic interest I instantly asked her out. Our relationship has been great, but between covid and having to do long distance from college it certainly hasn't been without its ups and downs.
At the beginning of summer I returned to my job from college to find new employees there. One of them who practically slid in my dms made it very apperant that she liked me. When I finally understood what her intentions were I made it clear that I had a gf and had no other desires then friendship. She was clearly upset, but was extremely determined. She tried many times again to make attempts at gaining my interest. And even after I continued to tell her I wasn't interested, she still persists.
At the end of my semester recently I told my gf about this girl, and she asked if I would block her. I did, and needless to say this girl was not happy. It was understandable however because she did view our friendship as important as did I, and here I was blocking her. Despite her attempts at trying for more then friendship I still did enjoy our friendship and having someone to talk too.
When I returned for work for the winter, she put a lot of effort into ignoring me for about 3 hours until she finally told me she couldn't. I needed to include this whole story because it has really made me question my relationship.
I should note that I am a very touchy person. I always have been with friends. My love language is touch and I always have hugged, held hands, and leaned on female and some male friends my entire life. Even when I had a gf, I would still do this. None of it is sexual or anything, I just have always valued physical connection and find it important in my life.
Anyways. My relationship has always been fairly good, and I do love my gf. I have had considerations of breaking up in the past (large differences in sex drive, differences in future plans) but all of these things I have felt that I can compromise. I just am afraid that the list continues to grow of things that I have been compromising on, and I won't be able to take it eventually.
One of the biggest things that is stopping me from breaking up with my gf is the fact that our families are very involved. Due to the way we met, and some connections our families are very involved with each other. My mom goes out to dinner with her mom on a regular basis. Her parents come over for dinner on a basis. Either way, breaking up would change alot. This will also change a friendship dynamic as we share a lot of the same home friends. I'm aware breaking up a long term relationship means lots will change and that's scary.
The main thing that keeps coming in my head is that I am really enjoying being craved. Given my higher drive then my gf, and the fact we got together in highschool I never got that feeling of being desired. My coworker makes it clear she wants me, and she is try her hardest to get it. This is what opened my eyes. If dating for four years has left me feeling undesirable, what's 10, 20, 30. I still love my gf, and really enjoy her company, but I'm scared if I'm unhappy now, I will be very unhappy later.
I am unsure if I would even want to get with my coworker, but feeling wanted is extremely validating and super nice to feel. I understand that being in a long term relationship isn't going to be as exciting and lustful as a fresh one, but either way it feels nice to be wanted.
Any advice would be appreciated. Judgment not so much
She is abusive, lazy and a all together user.
She is living in your home , rent free, refuses to get a job, making you clean the house , do the laundry, etc all while she sits on her ass and does nothing.
She is guilting you about your job, how much you work, and just wanting to relax. She is making rules for you in your home that she does not contribute towards at all, and has no right making rules for you.
She is making you miserable, and now states she is pregnant. Have you seen any proof from a actual doctor with her name on it, stating she is in fact pregnant?
And even if you have, you do not have to stay with her to be a good dad. As a matter of fact, staying with her and being miserable will only hurt your child more, no child wants to grow up in a hostile household, because that is what it would become, if you stay. In a way it already is with her manipulation games.
Get a lawyer, and tell her she has to go. You might have to give her a 30 day notice to vacate, depends on what the laws are there, but you might actually have to go through a eviction if she don't leave willingly.
Also don't wait for Christmas, her kid is not your responsibility, and you are only making matters worse the longer you allow her to stay.
So that’s a reason to come at me the way you are???
If you knew the truth about your breakup would you have married her?
She created fights cause she wanted to try him out. When the grass wasn't greener she came back.
Were you really being selfish or did you just come to that conclusion cause you wanted her back?
Either way. You know the truth now, come to the decision as a non married person, she shouldn't be rewarded for tricking you into an “I do”.
Jerk. Did she leave you? I will help her pack.
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The thing is, we can’t FaceTime because of our parents. Our parents don’t know that we are dating and won’t allow us to be on FaceTime. The only time we FaceTime is when both of us are just driving around.
I’m confused. How long have you been dating? Why is he feeling this way?
Take a morning after pill and dumb him
I'm glad someone said this. I've been around that community (in fact I just went to a convention with a lot of them) and uh, there's a fetish aspect. No question. You spend any amount of time near a few of them and it's blatantly obvious.
How much do you make a month ?
See it might work out for them after all
Nothing you've said makes sense, least of all your ability to make decisions.
I genuinely want to know OP, did you actually think that marrying a man that you barely knew and having a baby that he didn't want, was going to work out well?
You made awful decisions, with completely predictable outcomes. Those outcomes are now inevitably playing out and you seem.. surprised? I can't wrap my head around how you thought that this would work out any other way.
Yes, it is important for a person to have their space. And if you are in a relationship, there will be times when getting your space cannot be more important than attending to the needs of your partner. So it is very nice that he can lend an ear , or advice or try to facilitate something for a friend. But at what cost? Again, I think it is important to make sure your partner is being heard. And he may feel that he is getting pulled in different directions. But , I don’t think you were asking for too much.
Those are some shitty friends. You break it, you buy it. They certainly won’t be showing you that same courtesy.
You can't fix this. And if you're having sex, you can bring a baby into this chaos.
Dating is about finding someone compatible to make a life-long commitment. Choose wisely.
I think she needed counseling and just pretends there's a perfect man out there for her with no flaws. I was “hot, and we had a great relationship, and we never argued” bit she didn't love me back
There will be people who will find your emotions to be a weakness… these are not your people and you should leave those people alone to their bullshit.
The one thing that I wished my partners would do was be emotionally vulnerable with me. I've dated many a macho guy who thought emotions were for women or weaklings and they always put up a wall that I could not get through, no matter how hard I tried. It got to a point where I checked out because it was too much.
If a man is vulnerable enough to show his emotions, I take is as a sign that he trusts me enough to lower his walls ans show me his whole self.
A woman who cares about you as a person, will not think you're weak for it.
And just so you know, women like to be protectors too.. especially of the people we love.
I have two sons and have gotten into fights with family and friends that have told them to “man up” if they were upset. No, fuck that. Men are not robots. You have feelings and emotions and are allowed to express them. If a woman is turned off by that then get rid of her. The amount of men that unalive themselves because they don’t think they can talk, be vulnerable or show emotions is needlessly horrifying and heartbreaking. Don’t be a statistic.
i have always always always, ever since i was in high school, been completely against freshman/ senior relationships in high school. 14 vs 18 is entirely different. he used his higher status as an older kid in school to influence you into thinking he’s cool and jump on you as soon as you turned 18.
you'd know if she was interested in you. it wouldn't be hard to figure out because she would be giving you signs that she liked you. So think to yourself, are we just good friends or does she show interest in me in a romantic way?
It really sounds like you are and always have been asexual. That isn't something you can fix because there is technically nothing wrong with you. Unfortunately, if your husband won't accept a sexless marriage, you two simply are incompatible. You need to have a conversation about your options. Whether it is divorce or him having a partner outside the marriage to fulfill his sexual needs, that's up to you two. But please address this soon. It's unfair to either of you to go on like this.
as a “real” victim of rape on multiple occasions, what OP described IS likely sexual assault and it takes nothing away from other assault victims to say so
The she didn't reject him so how are you saying his feelings wee hurt?
This whole thing sounds so childish. I’m already exhausted.
You are being ridiculous. Their relationship doesn’t change anything between you and your wife. Everyone met as adults.
God… how immature of you!!!! Let them be happy.
I genuinely don‘t understand how this is “sickening“. What‘s going on here?
Your feelings are valid! If your gut says something might have been wrong, trust it & look into it.
Can you give examples of what makes her “low intelligence”? Having different opinions than you or seeing things from different perspectives isn’t “logical fallacies”
Why are you dating a rapist? Cause thats rapist mentality. Whats he gonna say next? That they actually like it and wanted it?
You're a fool to stay with someone like him.
I think maybe you're insecure yourself bc you are still with him. Bc nobody with a back bone or is desperate enough to stay with someone who continues to make mean jokes about them.
Maybe it's due to living half a century and more, but I remained friends with several of my old boyfriends after my late-life second marriage. I don't know what the obsession is with ex's in your generation. It isn't mature to obsess over past loves of your SO. Get over it.
Wow you're the world's greatest psychologist.
You really though you and something with that, didn't you?
Your post history, lol. Bro, why are you even with her. Just fucking cut your loses. There is no advice to suddenly get someone to respect you.
I'm going to be 100% honest and there's going to be a lot of men in the comments who are mad at me. But he was being 100% a little girl. He was going to cry because you didn't like the dress you bought him? After saying thank you for all the amazing gifts and you like the four other gifts. That is just so immature and so weird to make someone cry.
My brother and his girlfriend are about y'alls ages. I was against it too until I met her. Because I look back and think of the old 40s that would hit on me when I was that age and it was mega gross. But when I met her she looked his age, same mentality, working for a common goal and he's trying to get her to go back to school for higher education. It depends. But yeah in my personal experience it was gross but that doesn't mean the same for them.
You did the right thing, disrespect of a significant other should not be tolerated. The fact that he sat there listened to them talk crap about you isn’t right. Him having to make excuses about his whereabouts to them like they are his parents is ridiculous he’s a grown man. That young man needs to locate his spine
I know I need to work on myself but it's much easier said than done
My 30s were my worst years ha
Did you just have a stroke or wtf?
Are you having a stroke?!