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What do you thing about marriage?
I would not consider night dreaming of other ppl cheating. I would not be offended when my partner dreams about someone else. Can't be helped. You have no control what you dream about, and very little control over how you respond in a dream. I would find it understandable when there is a lack of intimacy, while there is a need from your side, that this comes back in a dream.
Once they get physical there’s no going back. Ever.
Please stay safe and follow your attorneys advice to the letter. Get a restraining order too
Actually, your writing makes it look like English isn’t your first language. Misspellings, improper capitalization, unnecessary use of ellipses (also the incorrect number of periods in the ellipses).
Being connected to your coworkers on social media is not abnormal.
What are you doing to work on your insecurity?
He's lying.
Haha, so let me get this straight. You had an amazing chemistry with legally-not-a-minor by the time you were a full ass adult. Convinced her to leave her girlfriend. Have her rising through the ranks of your company because you're fucking her, not because she's good at her job (empowerment, amirite, fellas?), which if she gets fired from for leaving you, she has no backup, and don't ever use birth control because she handles that nasty topic.
Wowza, really hoping this is the edgy troll, and not a real person. Of course, I'm sure your McDonalds franchise is flourishing
1 hitting kids is not effective nor good parenting. Im a family science minor and that is a closed book when it comes to behavioral science. 2 anyone calling for cps for 1 spank need to return to their vegan meals and avocados. My SO comes from a home where they we literally backhanded to the ground for talking their mind. THAT is abuse.
Sounds like your bf is working on it. I recommend couples counseling of you're serious about this relationship. You clearly have past triggers that he's aware of…i guarantee there are some he's not because hasn't come up or it's unconscious on your part until it happens. That's tough for a partner to figure out without someone helping guide.
As a partner of someone who suffered mental, sexual, and physical abuse as a child, you need to be in regular therapy. No excuses. This with couples therapy is the way forward if you're serious about each other.
You learn survival behaviors in a abusive home that get you through it but will ruin any meaningful progression in non abusive relationships. Unlearning those and trusting your partner to learn new behaviors is incredibly difficult.
We're 10yrs together, I've never hit any of our children. She hasn't in a long time (she spanked a few times early on). Therapy, love, and joint commitment is the answer here.
Good luck!
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I think it’s entirely normal that you don’t appreciate these interactions, nor do you find them acceptable. You have every right to feel that way, even if it is a more conservative view point than many may share. However, I think the way you go about dealing with these conversations isn’t okay. The men approaching your partner aren’t doing wrong and don’t owe you anything. Neither is your girl. I do think, however, that you need to have a talk with your girlfriend about this and how it makes you feel. She needs to know you don’t find these interactions pleasant or acceptable, and set boundaries on what you’re okay with when they do happen. She’ll do the same, and ideally you’d find some sort of compromise. If these men and catch-ups don’t mean much to her (which I’d hope they don’t) then you’d be able to agree and decide on the appropriate way to handle them. For example, she can make sure to keep it quick and short, without jumping into her want to genuinely catch up. However, if this does mean a lot for her to do, then it might just be something you have to put up with if you want to be with her. On my end, Both my partner and I find it completely unacceptable to be friends with or have any contact with an ex. Even when I don’t find it that big of a deal, out of love and respect for my partner, I wouldn’t allow a chat with a past hookup be worth upsetting my partner. Compromise is okay and healthy. Run ins happen, but you can be polite and short. There should be no long time to catch up, just a quick hello and goodbye. However, others completely disagree and in that case, you either compromise or find someone that thinks like you.
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I like how you got downvoted for saying she should be stable before kids lol.
I am sorry that he was being honest and it hurt your feelings. This is the time to learn from it and don't make those comments in the future.
Thank you for your words and i appreciate your advice a lot ♡
I am pretty decent at dealing with my anxiety since my past taught me well so that is good at least since getting a therapist is as very hot as finding a organ donor in my region haha
Of course i agree with you. Its her choice and i dont blame her. I did share my thoughts including the jealous, sad and mad ones but im always open and happy to talk about anything while keeping the mean thoughts to myself
Im currently thinking about asking her to make a break for a week so we both can untangle our minds to then meet up the week after to discuss everything properly. What do you think about that idea?
You said she forces you to eat them but didn't explain how. Does she threaten you? Is she using physical violence? Do you feel safe in your home?
Since you're aware that you can't eat them it seems understandable that you would refuse to eat them, but you didn't explain what method she uses to force you to eat them against your will. Depending on how violent it is, you may need the help of law enforcement to leave this relationship.
If you're not able to leave and find a safe place to live away from being forced to do things without your consent, do you think you would be able to convince her that you've become a vegetarian or that your doctor is requiring you to cook specific meals for yourself for health reasons? Perhaps that could keep you from getting sick until you're able to find a way to safely leave?
It was definitely a huge red flag. If he was that afraid of being seen, he could have explained that to you and asked if you could walk out separately and he'll meet you at the car or something. Instead, he decided shoving you and bolting was the better move.
I'd be done, personally. Maybe he'll come around someday, but you aren't required to be the person he treats like shit while he figures it out.
You both are gay.
The relationship is more at risk of dissolution
She should be uninvited from game night for being disrespectful.
I'm sorry Op. Thats awful and very difficult to reconcile and deal with. Unfortunately I think you need to prepare yourself for the worst here. Depending how far into this you want to read, I think your friend group is showing you where you stand in it. I would excuse yourself from events that the group plans since you know your Ex and ExBFF are going to be there, and try inviting the friends you want to different events. Be prepared that you may lose your friends, but you may find some in the group that are totally fine hanging out with you, without them. But you will likely have to take initiative, and it may not work out the way you want it to.
Why does he have to be the one to make them pay for these things? Why can’t you just be an adult and have the conversation? Why are you making the very hot conversations in life his responsibility? This poor guy. You have such high expectations and idk if you’re really bringing all that much to the table in the relationship. It sounds like he does a lot to try to make your life easier and make you happy, yet you sit here feeling disappointed in him and your relationship. You kind of sound like a nag where nothing is good enough and you don’t fully appreciate what he does do.
Wow. That was a lovely narcissistic non-apology and blameshift he did there. I’d leave.
Your dad loves you and wants what's best for you. He almost lost you and this friend was a bad influence for you. I am sorry for your loss, but you need more stable friends.
He got out of a 10-year relationship less than two years ago, so I understand his hesitance to jump into another serious relationship.
However, I think it's important that you set expectations now. Even if you're not picky about labels, you should be wary of anyone who wants all the benefits of exclusivity without needing to formally recognize themselves as your partner. It's a slippery slope.
Although we’ve been long distance the entire time, we’ve been together for about three years, and known each other for 5 years. This has never come up until this past year. I understand that he wants to make sure we are financially compatible, but he’s making it seem that I’m just spending away. I just want to be able to enjoy my money and ever since he’s been trying to tell me what I can and can’t do with my money, I end up feeling guilty and I feel even more guilty when I don’t tell him about something I bought but I also don’t want to have to hear him nagging to me about why I shouldn’t have bought what I bought.
It would be respectful for them to ask your permission first. Unless you’ve told them that you’re cool with them using whatever they like. My gf and I have a situation where we can use each other’s clothes freely and it works for us.
But stepmom did this 15 years later, making the age at the time of the stunt 30 years apart
I hope you’re right
Tell your dad . Maybe he can explain things to your husband in a way that he will understand .
Because it sounds like you don’t want to have a confrontation, my suggestion is that you do things gradually.
I’m not discussing my weight today. I’m going to hang up now. I need to get going. I’m really proud of myself.
You can try to talk with her, but it seems that won’t get you very far.
Keep in mind that you don’t have to engage with her on everything. If she’s hyper-critical, she doesn’t get as much information from you as she would if she was more supportive.
Keep conversations more surface level. ‘What did you have for lunch?’
Good luck.
Cancel her subscription.
Women are cold as ice, tale it as a lesson. You’ve got to get yourself together man, for your daughters sake.
Him divorcing you will be the best thing to ever happen to you. Run far and fast. This man does not love you, he loves controlling you and making you his little homemaker doll
Nothing they wrote really says that they actually ever had sex. I think you can put that thought away.
BUT having that kind of banter with any guy who isn’t you isn’t ok, and you should talk to her about that and about what the current nature of their relationship is.
Can I ask what you mean by this? I don’t exactly know.