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Model from: ca
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1998-06-07
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
She may misunderstand how relationships work.
The “in love” feeling people have is something called limerence. It is that feeling of bubbly excitement, when you are happy just being in the same room with the person you've fallen for. You can't stop thinking of them when they aren't around. You feel drawn to them, almost compelled to focus on them. It can feel very intense.
Some people view this experience as proof that they have found the right person, The One for them. The problem is that limerence isn't any kind of proof. It is a mixture of desire and obsession, and nothing about it shows that you are compatible with the person you are in love with.
In fact, limerence is a one-sided thing. It is all about how you feel, and doesn't say anything about how the other person feels. In fact, we have the term “unrequited love” for when you are in love with someone who doesn't reciprocate the feeling.
Popular culture, at least in the US, tends to celebrate limerence as the right thing, what you are supposed to have in a relationship, how you know it is “true.” But people can fall in love with people who are known abusers. They can even fall for people who aren't even there, like movie stars. Limerence — this “in love” experience — isn't love, it is a one-sided urge.
Think of it like a food craving. Consider:
It comes out of nowhere and just seems to happen. You can crave something you don't normally like, or that you know isn't good for you. You can crave something even if you've just eaten and aren't hungry. Even if you don't indulge the craving, it will fade away on its own.
Limerence is similar. But people are told in various ways that this is what you should feel for the rest of a relationship if you've found the right person.
This is wrong. Real love isn't a feeling; real love is a choice.
I think you've already experienced this. When you like someone so much that you are willing to change your behavior so that someone feels safe, respected, valued, etc., etc., then you are loving that person.
To put it another way: When you like someone, it has to do with how you feel, but when you love someone, it has to do with how they feel. Love is an action you choose, not something you passively feel.
But people who have been told they should have this intense feeling may believe that they don't really love someone. If they had limerence before, and it has since faded (which it does), they may talk of “falling out of love.” But we just can't sustain that sort of intensity long-term. If nothing else, we grow familiar with a partner, and we know what to expect with them; the thrill of the unknown isn't there anymore.
You can talk with your girlfriend about love, how you think it works, the difference between love as a choice and what we feel as love. If she insists that she has to be “in love,” there's not much you can do, but ask her if she'd want to break up to find that experience.
By being honest and telling her that her breath fucking stinks
Uhhhh hold up, were you expecting this guy to prescribe that woman pain meds to prove that he cared? Because that is a huge no no.
I mean he's not coming across great, but your expectations re: what is considered “showing you care” as a medical professional is really throwing up alarm bells for me.
(I don't want to hear about how people's doctor family members/friends/significant others will prescribe them antibiotics and other unscheduled meds. That is a completely different thing than expecting them to prescribe controlled substances when the DEA can and will come down on that.)
If you aren't in a place where it's against the law to prescribe prescription pain pills to family and friends who aren't seeing you for treatment or you didn't mean “prescription pain pills” I retract my horror.
I am just concerned you may have unhealthy expectations along with your understandable ones that could make you count out people who are just trying to prescribe ethically (and maintain their prescribing privileges, period) in the future.
And I still am team “dump his ass.”