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My boyfriend of 2.5 years, who I’ve lived with for just under 2, is living in Mexico for 6 months. I’m pretty chill and while I’m not over the moon about it, he’s a traveler by nature and this is what he loves to do. I knew he would eventually want to do another long trip when we started dating and so it wasn’t a surprise. I miss him but I trust him, so it’s easy all things considered.
His ex girlfriend is also one of his best friends. We’ve met, I text her sometimes, we all talk on the phone together. She lives in LA while we online in another state. She was engaged but recently broke it off, got fired and she’s also a Persian woman from Iran so she’s dealing with some shit.
My boyfriend called me to ask if it was ok for her to come down for a couple weeks as a reset for her. We talked about housing (hostels), what they would do, and she called me as well to make sure I was really ok with it.
I did have a little bit of jealousy because they were doing fun things together that I had wanted to do with him, and I felt like I was being “robbed” of those experiences with him, but I communicated that jealousy and instead of making me feel bad, he just reassured me that there was plenty to do, this way he’d know if it was worth doing, and that we will be going to a part of Mexico he’s never gone before.
Point being, communication was open from the beginning on every aspect of this. I always had a no, as I should, and I chose not to use it because I knew it would be fine.
He should have talked to you about everything, even if nothing happens. Protecting your relationship should have been a priority.
I don’t know if I could trust him to include me on important things in the future if he didn’t ask me how I felt about things. I’d really take it as a warning sign that you are not a priority and probably won’t wont ever be.
This will sound like a nothing suggestion – Dr. Nicole LePera- look at some her YouTube videos – get her books. I just went through one of the worst mental health periods of my life and I've had issues since I was a kid (I'm 44) – I've seen psychiatrists, psychologists, psycho therapists and gave up on anyone ever being able to help me. But even Dr. Nicole's tweets make me see things differently – she gets it.